A Long Awaited Sentiment
by nahimana
Summary: When Harry Potter disappears on the Hogwarts Express, why is it that only Snape knows where he is? And when Snape says they were close, just how close does he really mean? SnapeHarry. Timetravel.
1. All You Wanted

**Title:** A Long Awaited Sentiment

**Author:** nahimana

**Rating:** M

**Summary:** Harry Potter, aged eighteen, disappeared on the train ride to Hogwarts before the beginning of his seventh year. Severus Snape wanted to stop it, but didn't. Just when Harry thought his troubles were over, he finds himself battling a young (but no less dangerous) Lucius Malfoy and a bizarre attraction to Snape, of all people. HarrySnape.

**This Chapter- **Harry disappears, Snape is sarcastic, and Hermione wants to be in a fantasy novel.

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter, and everything even remotely related to it is owned by J.K.Rowling, Warner Bros and various publishers. I am not J.K.Rowling, Warner Bros or _any _type of publisher. Therefore, Harry Potter does not belong to me. I never claimed it did. So don't sue, plzkthnx.

**Warning: **Listen up, because I'm only going to say this once. This story is slash. It contains Harry Potter (a man) having a sexual relationship with Severus Snape (also a man). If this is not your cup of tea, click away. I don't want to hear your objections to it. Really. So don't feel the need to flame me for it. I warned you.

**Author's Note: **The edited beginning chapters- enjoy!

**Notes about the AU: **Harry Potter, Severus Snape and all other characters in their seventh year are represented as being eighteen years old, in order to comply with Australian laws, which, as an Australian, I must abide by. If you have a problem with this, I suggest you do not read this fan fic, because this will not be edited until the laws are. Thank you. Furthermore, this fic began in 2004, and is not HBP or DH compliant.

**Notes about the Music: **Music is a pretty important part of this fic, at least for me. All chapter titles are from the lyrics that preceed each chapter, and each set of lyrics are great to listen to when reading.

_If you want to_

_I can save you_

_I can take you away from here_

_So lonely inside_

_So busy out there_

_And all you wanted_

_was somebody who cares_

_I'm sinking slowly_

_So hurry hold me_

_Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on_

_Please can you tell me_

_So I can finally see_

_Where you go when you're gone_

_-All You Wanted, Michelle Branch_

Chapter 1- _All You Wanted_

_1st September, 1997 10:36am_

Harry shifted in his seat and pushed a hand through his hair as he watched another "happy couple" pass by the open door to his compartment. After defeating Voldemort shortly after turning eighteen, he had found himself, yet again, alone. While his friends, Ron and Hermione in particular, had found themselves in happy, normal relationships, Harry hadn't had anything lasting over a month. After all, when you spend most of your time cramped in a stuffy dungeon with a greasy potions master, trying to figure out ways to kill a snakelike Dark Lord, finding romance wasn't exactly easy. And with the defeat of Voldemort had come the the increase in Harry's fame, not to mention the continual staring Harry found himself subjected to. Of course, there were a few who didn't appear to worship the very ground Harry walked on- mainly Gryffindors, like Ron, Hermione and Neville who still saw Harry for what he was. Snape, as expected, didn't treat him differently either, still his snarky, horrible self despite having worked with Harry for so long on the potion that had finally weakened Voldemort enough to be killed. Snape too had been tied to the evil wizard, but now they were both free. Harry intended to make the best of his new-found freedom. But as the train sped along, taking him back to Hogwarts only a few short weeks since the Final Battle had taken place there, Harry found his sense of heroism kick in, and, as if his legs were moving of their own free will, he was marching out into the corridor to investigate the yelling which had started mere minutes earlier. Two boys, no older than second years, were attempting a duel, in between swear words and rather lame comebacks which reminded Harry unpleasantly of himself and Draco Malfoy. Nobody seemed to have noticed his presence. Hermione was trying to talk to them both, calm them down, while Ron looked like he was barely suppressing the urge to cheer them (or more specifically the Gryffindor one) on. The Prefects meeting must be over, Harry thought, sparing a glance to the other curious heads poking out of compartment doors. The Gryffindor boy, whom Harry did not know, muttered a curse Harry vaguely recognised as something similar to the Jelly-Legs Jinx, and he barely registered the Slytherin moving out of the way before a streak of silver light hit him and he disappeared.

OoOoO

_1st September 1977, 1:45pm_

Harry managed to moan rather pitifully as he sat up in bed and cautiously peeled his eyes open. He was in the hospital wing, but something was definitely off. A new pot plant, different paintings hanging on the walls, and no scratches on the wooden bed frames. As he noticed this, he was annoyed to realise that the feeling in the pit of his stomach, the one which said that it wasn't just Pomfrey redecorating, wasn't going away any time soon. Just then, Madame Pomfrey came bustling out, but she looked different too- younger. Determined not to make a fuss or do anything rash until he sorted a few things out, and rather proud of himself for showing this sign of maturity, Harry pushed away a nagging voice that said despite having a weight lifted off her shoulders, it was highly irregular for Madame Pomfrey to look like she'd de-aged herself twenty odd years. He stayed silent as he waited for her to come over to him; she was currently getting some potions out of a cabinet to the left side of the room.

She bustled over to his bed, three vials clutched in her hand, and Harry noticed her tense grip, and the lines marring her forehead and damned Snape for teaching him to be so damned observant.

"Now, young man. I don't care what Professor Dumbledore says about giving you a chance to explain yourself- showing up, unconscious, no less, looking like James Potter without a hint of identification on you- I refuse to heal you completely until you tell me exactly who you are and what you are doing here." She said sternly and Harry furrowed his brow.

"Erm. My name is Harry Potter- you should know me, you've only treated me a thousand times, Madame Pomfrey." He said, forcing a smile and hoping to goodness Pomfrey had just gotten on the wrong end of a Forgetfulness Draught.

"A thousand times? Really, such lies are unnecessary. But you said your name was Harry _Potter_? So you _are _a relation to James? Is he aware you're here?" Pomfrey asked. Harry ignored her question, he was deep in thought. Something was definitely not right. Harry got out of bed and walked over to a mirror, despite Madame Pomfrey's objections to stay in bed. He looked the same. So why did the nurse not remember him? He decided to go to Dumbledore. He may have harboured some not-so-happy feelings towards the Headmaster since the end of his fifth year, but Dumbledore always seemed to know what to do, and had been instrumental in the war effort. Madame Pomfrey objected weakly as he left the room, but did not do much else to stop him. Harry took the familiar path towards the headmaster's office and started reciting the names of all the candies he could think of. Eventually, he found that bubble gum did the trick.

Walking up the stairs to the wooden door, which he knocked on, he blinked as the door flew open straight away.

"Hello, dear boy. May I ask how you got the password to my quarters?" Dumbledore asked him, looking up from his desk. Harry noticed that he looked quite a bit younger too. Perhaps Snape had slipped all the staff a de-ageing potion?

"I just guessed candy, sir. You are rather predictable when it comes to sweets," Harry replied.

"Hmm. I've been told as much by Professor McGonnagal. I must ask you how you've come to realise this without ever meeting me?" Dumbledore questioned, frowning slightly.

Harry's eyes widened.

"You…you don't know- who I am?" Harry asked him, becoming rather panicked. Was this the work of some escaped Death Eaters?

"Unfortunately, no. Do tell me how you came to be in Hogwarts. Incidentally, I would also like to know why Madame Pomfrey has released you from her care while you still have bumps and bruises," Dumbledore said, gesturing for Harry to sit down on one of the comfortable chintz armchairs across from his desk.

Something occurred to Harry. It all seemed rather sci-fi, but he couldn't help asking. "Headmaster, what is the date?"

"Why it's the first of September, 1977."

Dumbledore saw the look of horror which flashed across Harry's eighteen-year-old face before the boy fainted.

OoOoO

_1__st__ September, 1997, 10:37am_

Severus Snape watched in horror as Harry Potter disappeared right in front of him. He had come to investigate the fighting in the hallway, but wasn't in time to stop the Gryffindor. _Not that you really wanted to_, said a nasty voice in the back of his head, the one which often popped up to make scathing remarks about Slytherin favouritism and sounded remarkably like his mother. Of course, Severus _didn't_ actually want to stop Harry. It would change the past, _their_ past. Severus sighed, something he never usually allowed himself to do in front of others, and walked off to find Dumbledore, who was taking the Hogwarts Express this year for 'a new experience' and was most likely chomping down lemon drops. He didn't have to go far, however, because it seemed the Headmaster had witnessed what Severus had and was currently trying to work out what had happened to Potter. Almost immediately the silver-haired headmaster called a meeting with the teachers, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger.

"Now, it is most important that we find out what has happened to young Harry." Dumbledore began, slipping into his role as leader of the group easily after so many years of running the Order of the Phoenix.

Hermione sobbed loudly and Severus could not prevent the sigh that escaped him as he buried his face in his hands, attracting the attention of everyone in the compartment, who all thought that Snape would be rather pleased that he would not have to deal with "the Potter brat".

"Severus?" Dumbledore asked gently, touching his shoulder slightly. Snape shook him off.

"Yes, Headmaster?" The Potions Master replied wearily, feeling a lot older than his thirty eight years.

"Are you all right?" The headmaster asked.

"Peachy." Severus replied sarcastically.

"Severus." Dumbledore warned, and Snape just glared at him.

"Fine. I know where he is. Your brilliant mind has once again outwitted my feeble attempts at hiding the truth." He admitted finally.

Everyone in the room gasped and Severus fought the urge to roll his eyes. _Honestly_.

"What? Where is he?" Ron snapped angrily. Severus ignored him and turned to the headmaster.

"Severus? Where is he? We must go and get him." Dumbledore urged him.

"You'll find that a bit hard." Severus told him.

"Why?" Dumbledore asked, grey eyebrows furrowing slightly.

"He's in the year 1977." Severus informed the group.

OoOoO

_1__st__ September 1977, 2:23pm_

Harry was quickly enervated by Dumbledore. He sat up quickly and looked at the headmaster, extremely worried

"Sir, did you just say 1977?" he checked, making sure he had heard correctly.

"Yes, indeed I did. Are you all right?" Dumbledore confirmed, helping Harry up to his feet.

"I am_ so_ screwed." Harry stated more to himself than to the older man.

"Why are you 'screwed'?" Albus asked, utterly confused.

"Because I'm not in the right time." Harry explained, trying to understand what had happened.

"Right time?" Dumbledore's eyebrows were raised.

"I come from nineteen _ninety_ seven. My name is Harry Potter." Harry informed him. Dumbledore looked faint.

OoOoO

_1st September 1997, 10:40am_

"Nineteen seventy seven? Did you just say that my best friend is in _nineteen seventy seven_?" Ronald Weasley shouted at his professor. Everyone ignored him.

"How is that possible?" Dumbledore asked, staring at Severus.

"Do you remember the exchange student we had that year? Alexander Redfern?" Severus asked, looking back at Dumbledore.

"Yes, but I don't see what that has to do with anything..." Dumbledore began, but the Potions Master cut him off.

"He erased your memory of his true appearance and his true identity. They are the same person. I was the only one who knew. I recognised him the second I saw him in his first year. He doesn't really look like his father that much." Severus said as an afterthought, looking rather sad.

"Harry is Alexander? But then-"

"Yes." Snape confirmed.

"And he obliviated me?" Dumbledore asked, incredulous.

"Just after he arrived, he realised what was happening. You couldn't know who he was." Severus explained, and Dumbledore nodded in understanding.

"But then why didn't he obliviate you?"

"Why do you think? You know what…what happened." Severus said roughly.

"Professor?" Hermione spoke up, her tears now gone. "Do you mean to tell us that Harry is back at Hogwarts in 1977? And you two knew each other?" She asked, wondering how on earth this could have happened.

"Always the smart one Granger." Severus snapped, Hermione looked offended.

"Yes, he is there.'" Snape continued. "He'll be there for a while, if things are the same. Unless he changes something…" Severus trailed off, looking slightly worried.

"And why didn't he obliviate you?" Hermione pressed on.

"Because…because…we were…" Snape struggled to find the right words, something that happened extremely rarely and often made him feel a bit out of sorts, and closed his eyes. "We were…close."

Albus coughed.

"Amusing, Albus." Snape said dryly. "How else do you wish me to explain it?"

"In this situation Severus, I believe that the truth would be the best explanation." The headmaster advised, his eyes doing that twinkling thing that drove Severus mad.

"Do you truly believe that they would think I was telling the truth? I don't even believe it sometimes!" The potions master sighed. "This is so fucked up."

Dumbledore gave him a look which clearly said that he did not approve of Snape swearing in front of students.

"I demand to know exactly what is going on!" Ron shouted at his teacher suddenly. He was very confused and wanted answers. Snape couldn't have cared less.

"Mr. Weasley, you are in no position to be making demands. I will, however, answer select questions. Anything I find too...personal, I shall not answer." Severus told him, giving him a look that scared most students to death (and, in some cases, tears, although this was mainly reserved for Neville Longbottom).

"Fine. What were you talking about when you said you two were close?" Ron asked.

"Well, I was the first student to meet Mr. Red- Mr. Potter that day..."

OoOoO

_1st September, 1977 , 2:28pm_

"Professor? Are you okay?" Harry asked, putting a tentative hand on the Professor's shoulder after five minutes went by in silence. Dumbledore blinked, and turned to face Harry again rather slowly.

"My dear boy, did you just say you were from 1997?" The twinkle in his eyes had dimmed a lot, something it often did when he was worried.

"Yes. I don't know how, but I must have gotten sent back in time." Harry told him, forcing a smile. The sunlight which had previously shone through Dumbledore's large window was dimming as grey clouds spread over the blue sky.

"My goodness. And you said your name is Potter?" Dumbledore observed him.

"Yes, I am James Potter's son." Harry replied distractedly. How the hell had he gotten in the year 1977? Then it occurred to him, he could not let Dumbledore know any of this! It could change the future. He had to obliviate the old man.

"Headmaster?" he said tentatively.

"Yes, dear boy?" Dumbledore said distractedly.

"I'm really very sorry about this. Hora Obliviate!"

Dumbledore was caught by surprise and all his memories of the past hour were erased. While he was distracted, Harry quickly dashed out of the room. He headed out to the bathroom once he was past the gargoyle and looked at himself in the mirror. _I need to change my appearance,_ he thought to himself.

Harry had been taught a glamour charm when he was being trained by Snape in the war. It had been especially useful in the Final Battle, preventing Voldemort from spotting him too early and allowing several important Death Eaters to be captured before they all Apparated away. There were still a number of very influential Dark wizards out there, though, who had managed to evade capture, much like those that had done the same after the First War.

"Aspectamen mutare", he said, eyes closed and thinking of his desired appearance.

When he opened his eyes, his hair was longer and straight. His nose was slightly bigger, his eyes were blue and his cheek bones were more pronounced. It was only a few changes, but he was completely different. Not at all recognizable as a Potter or an Evans.

Harry hurriedly rushed off to the Hospital wing, he had to obliviate the matron as well, or his plan could be ruined. Sliding through the door, he spotted Madame Pomfrey looking in the Potions Cupboard. Quickly casting the spell, and pausing briefly to ensure Pomfrey had not been harmed, he ran off back to Dumbledore's office, intent on introducing himself to the Headmaster with a new identity. Searching his mind for a new name, he came up with "Alex Redfern." Alex being the name of a boy who he attended Primary School with, and who wasn't as horrible than the others had been under the influence of Dudley. Redfern for the last name of a character in a story his second grade teacher had read him. It would do.

Soon, Harry arrived in front of Dumbledore's office. How was he supposed to get up there if he wasn't supposed to know the password?

"Uhh…Headmaster?!" He called, hoping that the old man would hear him.

Thankfully, it seemed that Dumbledore had been alerted to his presence, because the gargoyle stepped aside, letting Harry pass.

The 18-year-old walked up the stairs calmly, and rapped on the wooden door.

"Enter" Dumbledore called out. Harry nervously walked into the office. He hoped that his spell had worked, and that Dumbledore had forgotten him. Obliviate spells, when performed on powerful wizards such as Dumbledore, sometimes didn't last permanently.

"And who might you be, young man?" Dumbledore asked.

"My name is Alexander. Alexander Redfern. I…I was with my relatives in Hogsmeade when we got separated, I thought you may be able to help me." Harry, or "Alex", made up quickly.

"I see. Shall I contact your family?" Dumbledore asked kindly, reaching for a piece of parchment.

"Uh, no. You can't. They don't want me. I'm glad I got away. I was wondering sir, if I could maybe…stay here. And learn magic at the school."

"Do you not go to school?" Albus questioned.

"No. My guardians teach me at their house." Harry told him, shoving his hands in his pockets and trying to act as innocent as possible.

"Well…I don't see why not. You wish to be an "exchange student" of sorts?" Dumbledore asked. "Of course, we shall need to see that you are up to the standard of your fellow wizards.

"Yes sir." Harry said, relieved at how easy it had been to convince Dumbledore to let him stay.

"Very well. Now, I don't believe I introduced myself. I am Albus Dumbledore."

"I know sir. I, erm…I've heard about Hogwarts. That's how I knew where your office was." Harry explained.

"Ah, excellent! Now, I have several spells I wish you to perform, so I am able to see your standard. If you are not at the level of our new seventh years, I'm afraid I will need to place you a year below." Dumbledore explained kindly, and Harry nodded, inwardly smirking. After being personally trained by Severus Snape and Dumbledore himself, not to mention defeating the most evil wizard since Grindelwald, Harry had utmost confidence in his spell-casting ability.

It was as he expected. Dumbledore asked him to perform some transfiguration he had learnt several years previously, as well as demonstrate some Potions theory, and several Defensive spells. Harry had absolutely no trouble with Defence or Transfiguration, but when it got to Potions, he stumbled. Not even Snape, whom Harry had learnt was the most accomplished Potions Master in his proper time, had been able to teach Harry to be good with Potions. The theory was relatively easier, as theory could not blow up in your face, but Harry still stumbled over a few of his answers.

"Perhaps I shan't place you in a Potions class, Mr. Redfern, unless you wish it?" Dumbledore asked, a serene smile gracing his features.

Harry grinned sheepishly, but shook his head. "If you don't mind, sir, I'd like to be in a Potions class. Perhaps I'll learn something in a proper school."

Dumbledore looked hesitant, but nodded. "I suppose, as you seem to have read about our school, that you also know about our house system?" The old man questioned.

"Yes, I do sir."

"Very well then, are you prepared to be sorted?"

"Yes." Harry replied nervously; he hoped that he would not be put in Slytherin as the sorting hat had wanted in his first year.

"Okay, now, place the hat on your head." Dumbledore said, handing the old hat to him.

"Ah…I know where you belong, _Alex Redfern. _" said a voice. Harry was worried. The sorting hat sounded like it knew who he truly was. This piece of ..._material_ could ruin everything.

"Do not worry." The hat spoke again. "I will not reveal your secret. I know the trouble it could cause. But, as repayment, you shall allow me to put you in Slytherin. I know you do not want to be in that house, but you are best suited for it. SLYTHERIN!" The hat yelled out its final word so that the headmaster could hear it as well. Harry sighed. He knew it was the only way that his secret could be kept safe. He looked up at the headmaster, who was obviously shocked.

"Well," the old man said, coming out of his astonished stupor, "I think I will call up a student to take you to your new house."

Dumbledore walked over to his desk and spoke into a tiny machine which was whirring on his desk.

"Would Severus Snape please come to my office?"

Harry looked puzzled. This system was not in use in his time. He wondered why Dumbledore stopped it. And why was he asking Snape up? Didn't he say he was getting a student? Was Snape younger than Harry thought?

Dumbledore motioned for Harry to sit across from him, and they waited a few minutes before Snape showed up. Harry gasped when he saw him. He was a _lot _different. His hair wasn't as greasy, it was actually rather smooth, and was pulled back. His skin was still pale, but Harry thought it rather suited him. His robes fit him excellently, and Harry could see that the body beneath was nicely toned. Now that Harry thought about it though, this Snape wasn't all that different from the man he remembered. Just younger. Snape had, when Harry was honest about it, always had a certain appeal, despite his rather unconventional appearance. However, the older Snape, whom Harry assumed wasn't much different from this younger version, was so snarky that any appeal anyone else might've noticed was completely squashed by his insults.

"Severus," Dumbledore started, shocking Harry out of his stupor, "this is our new exchange student, Alexander Redfern. He has just been sorted into Slytherin, and I hoped you could show him around."

"Yes Sir." Snape replied politely, but he had a tinge of annoyance in his voice.

"Follow me." He said, turning to Harry. "Alex" complied, not wanting to get on the man's bad side, eighteen, or, Harry supposed, thirty eight, as he knew him.

OoOoO

"So," Snape asked, as they walked along to the dungeons, "Why are you only starting school now?"

"Umm…well, I did home tutoring for most of my life. I guess I just wanted to do 'normal' school." Harry shrugged, unused to conversation with Snape not revolving around Potions, detention or Death Eaters.

"Hmm."

"Why are you here early? Aren't the others supposed to arrive later?" Harry asked, more uncomfortable with the silence than the conversation.

"Yes, but I'm different. I stayed here during the holidays."

"Why?," Harry asked, genuinely curious.

Snape stayed silent for a few moments, obviously contemplating his answer.

"My father and I had a few disagreements last summer. Dumbledore thought it best that I stay here during the holidays." He answered finally, in a tone that indicated that that was all he was going to say about the matter. Harry decided to change the subject to something he had been curious about for a while.

"So…what are teachers like here?"

OoOoO

_1__st__ September 1997, 11:10am_

"We talked about classes and such for a while, and I showed him the dorms and other tedious subjects. Of course, at the time, I had no idea that he knew it all. He seemed interested, though." A 38-year-old Severus told Harry's friends and the curious Professors in the train compartment.

"By then it was almost night and we decided to go down the hall to get seats for dinner." Severus continued. "Over the next week or so, we became friends. Then several months later, he left, the end." Severus finished hurriedly, and made to move out the door. Dumbledore stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"Severus, aren't you forgetting a rather important piece of the story?"

"No, headmaster, I believe that is all of importance," the Potions Master said in a dangerous tone, sweeping past the older man and out of the compartment. Dumbledore sighed and turned to the rest of the compartment's occupants.

"I am sorry for Severus' hurriedness. I believe this day has been rather hard on him. Excuse me." Dumbledore said quietly, before moving out the room and sweeping off to find his Potions teacher.

Ron and Hermione looked at each other.

"If you'll excuse us, Professors, I think we'll take our leave as well." Hermione said, standing up and pulling Ron up behind her.

"Of course Ms Granger," McGonnagal said.

The two Gryffindors followed the headmaster's path out of the compartment, and walked off to find an empty compartment that they could talk in. When they found one, Hermione shut the door and locked it to have privacy.

"Can you believe this?" Ron asked as Hermione sat back down across from him.

"No, I honestly can't. I cannot believe Harry has gone back in time. I mean, honestly, this is something you'd expect to find in a fantasy novel." Hermione said thoughtfully, and Ron got the suspicion she was actually rather jealous.

"I meant him being in Slytherin! And friends with Snape!"

"Honestly, Ronald. You know the sorting hat wanted to put him in Slytherin back in first year. And I think there's more to Professor Snape than we know. He was probably quite a bit different when he was eighteen." Hermione told him sternly.

"Snape is Snape. No matter what age." Ron grumbled, folding his arms across his chest and looking out the window to watch the countryside speed past.

"Ron! Why can't you accept that not everything is black and white?!" Hermione said exasperatedly.

"I know it's not! But 'Mione! It's Snape!" Ron yelled, and the shadows of several passing students stopped at the sound.

Hermione lowered her own voice to a near whisper. "I didn't say I agreed with it, Ron, but I'm sure Harry has his reasons. I say we wait to judge their friendship until Harry comes back, and we get the _full _story. I definitely think there's something Snape isn't saying."

"Well duh." Ron responded when the shadows had moved on.

"Ronald! Now, we know Harry is safe, and that's what matters."

"I suppose." he shrugged.

"Now, did you do your homework this summer?"

Ron groaned.

OoOoO

Meanwhile, Dumbledore had finally caught up with Snape and was currently discussing the situation with him.

"You must tell them Severus!" Dumbledore told him, raising his voice slightly in warning.

"Why?" Severus asked, his voice raising as well, his mouth forming a scowl.

"Because they are Harry's friends, they have the right to know."

"They would hate me even more Albus and what good would that do?! Weasley would try and kill me! And after I spent so bloody long training him, that is not the idle threat it would have been before! Besides, I do not know if Harry wishes for them to know."

"Very well, Severus. I cannot force you to tell them, but I do wish you would. It will be a shock to them, when Harry comes back "

"I am not telling them anything they don't need to know. Especially as it is likely that nothing will occur to shock them when Harry returns."

"You must do what you feel is best," Dumbledore said, sighing wearily. Severus stalked off again.

OoOoO

_2__nd__ September, 1977, 2:38am_

Harry groaned and turned over in his new bed. It was too early. Someone was shaking him.

"Redfern! Redfern! Wake up!" Severus Snape's voice said into his ear.

Harry shivered as Snape's breath ghosted over his ear. "What do you want Snape?" He asked, still incredibly sleepy.

"Come with me." Harry glanced out the window, and noticed the moon was still high in the sky, and rain was pattering against the glass.

Harry sat up, intrigued, and shrugged, following Severus out the door of their dorm. Severus led Harry through a series of passages and out into the corridor Harry recognised as the one where the kitchens were. Sure enough, Snape walked up to a bowl of fruit, tickled the pear and walked in, motioning for Harry to follow him.

"What are we doing here?" Harry whispered.

"Having a snack." Severus replied, motioning for a house elf to get them a pot of tea.

"At three am?"

"Two thirty, actually. Problem?" Snape raised an eyebrow.

Harry gazed at the teen. He was certainly different in this time, or maybe he wasn't, maybe Harry had just never seen the real Severus Snape.

"Not at all." Harry said, smiling slightly.

"Then sit," Snape said, pulling out a chair and giving a mock bow. Harry chuckled and sat down.

"So what exactly is this little outing for?" Harry asked, his mouth quirking into a smile, watching the house elves buzz around with teapots and beginning their breakfast preparations. This was familiar. This was _home._

"Well, I thought since we couldn't really talk before, with everyone there, that we could talk now." Snape suggested.

"Okay. Is there anything in particular?"

"Actually, there is. Why are you here?" Severus asked, turning his attention, previously focussed on the House Elves more than anything, directly onto Harry.

"You woke me up at an insane hour of the morning and dragged me here." Harry told him with a grin. Snape scowled.

"Here at _Hogwarts_, Redfern."

"I'm an exchange student." Harry explained again.

"Yes, but why now?" Snape asked, putting emphasis on the "now".

"Well, my relatives, they…they weren't the nicest of people. They didn't really like me, and thought of me as a burden." Harry paused, wondering if he should tell Snape about how the Dursleys treated him. "They beat me."

Severus gasped and, seemingly unconsciously, put a hand over Harry's.

"That's terrible." he said, frowning.

"Well, you get used to it. Learn how to dodge, and all. I've got great reflexes." Harry said with a forced smile.

"You shouldn't have to _get used to it_." Snape said, almost angrily. A house elf pushed a cup of tea into his hand, and Harry noticed it shook slightly.

"Okay, okay, enough about me! How about you? Why are you here? Early, I meant?" Harry asked, trying to steer the conversation to something slightly less morbid, and less likely to get Snape angry.

"My father…he beat me too." The cup in Snape's hand shook a bit more violently. So much for that.

"That's awful. Why?" Harry sympathised, adding sugar to his won tea for something to do with his hands.

"Well…have you heard of the Dark Wizard Voldemort?" Snape asked.

"Yes." Harry said, thinking about how much he really had _heard_ about the evil wizard.

"Well, my parents believe that he is right, that all muggle-borns should be killed. But…I don't. So when I refused to take the Dark Mark, the symbol of his leadership he places on his followers, they got upset. Dumbledore found out before they killed me, and he rescued me. But Lucius Malfoy, the one you met today, remember?"

"Yes." Harry said, urging Severus to go on.

"Well, he's been trying to get me to follow Voldemort too. He says I'm special and that I would be useful to the Dark Lord."

"And what do you think?"

"I think that it's stupid to kill someone because they have tainted blood."

Harry smiled softly, he really liked this Severus. He seemed more understanding, friendlier. Maybe, even with their past, or rather, their future, they could be friends.

End Chapter 1.


	2. Where Are You Now?

**Title:** A Long Awaited Sentiment

**Author:** nahimana

**Disclaimer/Warnings/Rating: **See chapter 1.

**This Chapter- **Remus gets mad, Snape turns into a teenage girl and there's just something about Harry.

_Maybe I'd be better on my own_

_No one ever seems to understand me_

_It's easier for me to be alone_

_But there's still a piece of me that feels so empty_

_I've been all over the world_

_I've seen a million different places_

_But through the crowds and all the faces_

_I'm still out there looking for you_

_-Where Are You Now, Michelle Branch_

Chapter 2- _Where Are You Now?_

_2__nd__ September, 1997, 8:15pm_

Remus Lupin was normally a kind, gentle, well-tempered man. A person would have to have a personality like that if they were friends with Sirius Black most of their life. Although Remus was a werewolf, he was normally known as someone who you could tell anything to. Someone who would not freak out and act on their feelings, no matter how mad he got. But then, Remus had never found out that his sort-of godson was trapped in the year 1977.

This was the reason why the moment Remus did find out; he left his home in the suburbs of London and got straight on the train to Hogwarts.

"I cannot believe this." Remus muttered as the train sped past the green hillsides of Scotland. "How on earth did he get to be in 1977? I don't remember him being there. Oh, this is terrible." He was interrupted mid-rant by the train coming to a sudden stop. Remus looked outside and noticed that he had arrived at Hogwarts. Quickly grabbing his luggage, Remus stepped out of the scarlet train and made his way to a solitary carriage waiting for him in the increasing darkness. He could see the thestral pulling the carriage ruffle its wings impatiently. Sliding into the carriage, Remus was able to continue his little rant in his head, so he was startled once again by the thestral stopping. The werewolf could see Dumbledore waiting at the front gate for him, and with a determined air about him, he took off in the headmaster's direction.

"Remus-" The old man began, but Lupin cut him off.

"No, Dumbledore. No pleasantries. How on earth did Harry end up in 1977?" Remus asked him, infuriated.

"Well, you see Remus, there was a spell." Dumbledore told him calmly.

"A spell?" Remus asked, his eyebrows raised.

"Yes, there were some students fighting on the train and a spell was dodged, but our young Harry did not see it coming." Dumbledore said, with the air of a man explaining how dessert followed dinner.

"How on earth would a student be able to cast a spell to send someone into the past?" Remus asked.

"Well, we believe it was said incorrectly." Albus said, as though this made it all okay.  
"That just makes it worse! What are you going to do to get Harry back?"  
"I'm afraid there's nothing we can do. He will arrive back when he is meant to." Dumbledore said helpfully.

"Well, how do I not remember him?" Remus asked, feeling his anger at Dumbledore ebb away and becoming annoyed that the man had the power to make one feel guilty for becoming infuriated with him.

"He had a disguise. But Remus, I will explain everything to you inside. We could be overheard out here." Dumbledore said.

Remus sighed. The headmaster could be very agitating sometimes. He wanted to know everything, but the old man was obviously keeping something from him. When Remus had been shown to his rooms by a house-elf, and was properly 'settled in', he decided to pay a visit to Dumbledore. After saying the password and approaching the next wooden door he could hear raised voices from inside. It was Snape and Dumbledore.

"Albus! I cannot tell them! We talked about this before! They do not need to know!"

"They should know."  
"Why? Give me one good reason that I should tell them!"

"They are Harry's friends. They should be prepared for when Harry comes back, despite your beliefs that nothing will occur." Dumbledore replied in his aggravatingly calm voice.

"What makes you think that he's even going to tell them? Why would he do that?"

"Severus, you know better than I do of your relationship."

"No! I don't want to hear it! I'm going. And I am not going to tell them. So stop trying to make me, you manipulative old man!"

Remus could hear Dumbledore sigh and Snape head towards the door. He quickly slipped into an alcove where he wouldn't be seen. Snape stormed out, his face slightly flushed with anger. When Remus was sure that the Potions master had gone, he stepped into Dumbledore's office. The old man was sitting at his desk, calmly petting Fawkes.

"Remus! What an unexpected surprise! Shouldn't you be resting? You have had a long day, after all."

"No, Albus. I want you to tell me everything you know about Harry."

"Such as, Remus?"

"How come I don't remember him?"

"Ah, as I said before, he was in disguise. I don't suppose you remember an Alex Redfern?"

"Harry is Alex?" Remus asked, shocked.

"Yes. Does that tell you all you wanted to know?"

Remus just stared at the headmaster, mouth slightly open. Dumbledore coughed and Remus was shaken out of his reverie.

"Ah, yes, Headmaster. Thank you for your time."

Calmly, Remus got up and walked out of the office and down to the dungeons. He quietly rapped on the door of Severus Snape and waited patiently for the door to open. When he saw Snape he lost all the self control he had. Pushing Snape inside and against the wall, he punched the man as hard as he could over and over again. Severus didn't fight back. He knew that Lupin had found out. When Remus had tired, he started yelling at the dark-haired man, his hand still holding Snape into the wall. So much for resisting violent werewolf urges.

"That time of the month, Lupin?" Snape asked, holding a hand to his bleeding lip. "It's no excuse for muggle duelling, you know. You could at least hit me with a good curse."

"How could you?! How could you do that to Harry?!" Lupin yelled.

"I didn't know it was him! I didn't even know who he was until he'd been there for 3 months! All I knew was that he was somehow related to a student of the school and that he was from the future!" Snape yelled, anger replacing his cool indifference.

"Yes, but you knew he was from the future! You knew that when he went back, you would be 20 years older than him!" Remus shouted.

"I didn't think of it like that! I was a teenager in love, for fuck's sake! I didn't care!" Severus yelled back, but then seemed to regret it and placed a hand to his forehead.

Remus stared. "What did you just say?"

Snape stuttered, which almost shocked Remus as much as the words he thought he'd heard. "I said…I said I didn't care."

"Before that." Remus urged, his grip on Snape's collar easing.

"I said that I was in love." Snape mumbled, disgruntled.

"You loved him?" Remus asked disbelievingly.

"Of course I did! Did you not see us together? I loved him as much as it is possible for someone like me to love someone like him." Snape's anger, once again, replaced any other emotions.

"And…and do you still love him?" Remus asked quietly.

"Much to my displeasure." Remus let go of the front of Snape's robes, and the man slid down, too injured to stand.

"I had no idea." Remus said.

"Not many did. Many thought that we weren't even in a real relationship."  
"Like James, Sirius and I."

"Yes. Nobody ever thought a Slytherin, let alone a Snape, could love another person. I didn't even think I could." Snape told him.

"I apologise." Remus said, quietly.

"What for?" Snape asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked up at the werewolf.

"For what I just did. I had no right to just barge in on you like this and start hitting you. Physical violence was always more Sirius' thing. I'm just so worried about Harry." Remus said, sliding down beside Snape and muttering a few healing spells.

"It's all right. I suppose I'd lose control too. I'm only calmer because I've known all this time." Snape admitted, and Remus could hardly believe that the man he was talking to was Severus Snape.

"It must have been hard for you, all these years." He said, as his wand touched Snape's cheek and the swelling instantly went down.

"It was. But I've gotten over it. I've learned to live with the fact that the one person I cared about will never feel the same way." Snape said in a dejected voice, hardly believing he was having this conversation with Lupin of all people.

"But what about when he comes back?"

"I'm his most hated teacher. Nothing could happen. Nothing will happen."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course."

OoOoO

Snape and Lupin talked for an unusually long time before Remus decided to go back to his rooms. He was met on the way, however, by Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger.

"Professor Lupin!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Remus!" Ron said.

Hermione slapped Ron. "Have some respect, Ronald."

"Don't worry about it Hermione," Remus began. "I prefer Remus, actually. Professor makes me feel old."

Ron chuckled and Hermione just glared at the redhead.

"So, what are you doing here, Pro- _Remus_?" Hermione asked politely.

"I'm here because of Harry. When I heard what happened, I wanted to be here."

"Oh, of course. Is there any news?" Hermione questioned.

"Well, you know where he is, don't you?" Remus asked, fighting a yawn.

"Yes." Hermione answered, and Ron nodded unnecessarily.

"Then there's no news. Dumbledore is being quite tight-lipped about the whole thing, but I think I can fill in a few details from what I remember of Harry, or, rather, Alex."

"Of course!" Hermione said. "I forgot you would have been there as well!"

"Really making me feel young, Hermione." Remus said jokingly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I just-"

"Hermione, stop. I was kidding."

"Oh, " Hermione said with a nervous laugh.

"Anyway, I'm glad I ran into you two. I was wondering if you'd like to know a bit about Harry in my time."

"Really?" Ron asked.

"Yes, shall we find somewhere more comfy, though? I think my legs would get rather tired.

"Okay! How about the Room of Requirement?" Ron asked.

"That would be nice." Remus said, fighting the teacher urges he had retained to ask them how they knew about the Room.

The three then set off for the room and before long found themselves sitting in a comfy room with three chairs and a cooler full of drinks.

"Will this do?" Remus asked.

Ron and Hermione nodded, taking seats.

"Okay, well, what would you like to know?"

"Well, what was Professor Snape talking about him being 'close' with Harry? Do you remember them being friends?" Ron asked straight away.

"Ah. I don't think I should tell you that." Remus said warily.

"Why not?" Hermione asked, glancing at Ron.

"It's not really my place. One of them will tell you when they're ready."

"Oh. Well, what do you remember of him? Anything?" Hermione asked.

"Uh...let's see. He was a Slytherin. And you'd be pleased to know that he did not get along with Lucius Malfoy. I think something actually happened with them during the year. No-one knew what it was though. There were rumours that Lucius had harmed him though."

"Oh no!" Hermione said while Ron stayed quiet, though Remus noticed his hand clenched over the arm of his chair.

"Oh, it's okay. He was fine. Just a little shaken I think. Anyway, at first he didn't get along with his father or Sirius either. We were pretty indifferent. But then, Harry had to do this…demonstration to the class, and James and Sirius started thinking he wasn't so bad. He got along with his mother right away though. They were good friends. It must have been weird for him though. So, yes, what else? I know! He was very good with his studies, he actually got better at Potions too. Severus helped him." Remus explained, taking a sip of his drink.

"Well, that's good." Hermione spoke up, obviously pleased that Harry had not given up on his studies, no matter what time period he was in.

"Yes, I remember being amazed at how much he knew about Defence Against the Dark Arts. What else would you like to know?" He asked them.

"Was he on the Quidditch team?" Asked Ron, in his typical fashion of always thinking of Quidditch.

"No, he wasn't. Come to think of it, it was very odd. I think he might have thought that it would be a danger to be on the team." Remus replied.

"Oh." Ron said, clearly disappointed.

"Well, I think it is time we all went to bed. I am extremely tired, and I would like to relax in my rooms. If you think of any other questions, I will be on the third floor, behind the picture of James the Tall. Just knock." Remus said, stifling another yawn.

"Okay. Thank you very much Professor- sorry, _Remus_." Hermione said, getting up, with Ron following. Remus watched them both exit the room after saying goodnight, and followed soon after, and although he was tired, his head was buzzing with all the information he had gained that day.

OoOoO

_2__nd__ September, 1977, 3:34am_

Severus Snape had never had many relationships. He'd never had a relationship which had lasted longer than a week, actually. It wasn't just that he was somewhat unattractive- after all, even Pettigrew had a girlfriend- but he had just never really met anyone who he had wanted to be around for an extended period of time. In fact, he had far more meaningful relationships with Potions ingredients. He had never met anyone like Alex Redfern. As the two sat in the Hogwarts kitchens talking about their lives, Severus had never felt more connected to anyone in his life. And it helped that Alex was _very_ easy on the eyes. He was gorgeous, actually. Severus was falling for him fast.

They had a lot in common. Both had bad family lives and both had expectations heaped upon them, although Alex was rather scarce on the details. Despite this, Severus felt like he knew the other teen, even though he knew that wasn't possible. Currently, the boys were talking about their favourite subjects.

"I love Potions." Severus said. "There's just something about chopping and measuring and stirring and calculating that calms me."

"Are you kidding me? Gah, I hate Potions." Alex told him with a mock shudder.

"Do you hate Potions, or are you bad at Potions?" Severus asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Both." The other boy admitted.

"Hmm." Severus said.

"That sounds bad. What's on your mind?" Alex asked.

"Well, I was just thinking that maybe if you were better at Potions, than you'd enjoy it more." Severus informed him.

"Ha. I highly doubt that." Alex said, taking a bite of the pie the house elves had brought them.

"Fine. So what's _your_ favourite subject?" He asked.

"Defence Against the Dark Arts." Alex replied without hesitation.

"Really? I hate it."

"Do you hate it, or are you just bad at it?" Alex asked in a mocking tone.

"Ha ha. Don't mock me. I admit I'm bad at it. It frustrates me."

"You're insane. It's awesome. I could teach you, if you like?" Alex said.

"Well, I'll make a deal with you. You can teach me Defence, if I can teach you Potions."

Alex considered it. "You're on." He said finally.

In his head, Severus did a little dance, but stopped when he realised he was acting like a teenage girl. He couldn't stop the thought that floated across his brain,_this is going to be great_, _a chance to be around Alex more! _This whole Alexander thing was going to be problematic.

"So, when shall we start?" Alex asked, snapping Severus out of his reverie.

"Uh…I don't know. Maybe after Christmas? The first term is normally the hardest. For now, we can just help each other when it's needed."

"Sounds good to me!" Alex replied. "Well, I think I'll go to bed. We have classes tomorrow, or, today, rather. And I don't want to be tired. Thanks for this talk. I enjoyed it." He continued.

"Me too. It was good. I think I'll stay here for a little bit though." Severus replied, inwardly melting at the smile Alex was giving him. _Jesus._

"Goodnight."

"Night."

Harry smiled at him one more time and exited the room.

Both teenagers were grinning like mad when they got into bed that night.

OoOoO

_2__nd__ September, 1977, 8:56am_

Harry had been both dreading this day, and looking forward to it. It was the first day of school, and his first class was with Gryffindor. That meant that he would be meeting his parents. The night before, he and Severus had mainly kept to themselves at dinner. He had met one or two people. But, according to Severus, no-one was really worth meeting. Harry had thought that he had seen Lucius Malfoy, but that could have been some other unnaturally blonde student. He had been too busy talking with Severus to notice anything.

Now, though, he was going into Charms class with the Gryffindors, and ahead of him he could see hair which looked exactly like his own. His father's hair. Harry was snapped out of his thoughts by Severus hitting him in the arm.

"Oi, Redfern. Wakey-wakey." He said.

"What?" Harry asked, slightly distracted.

"You've been zoned out for ten minutes."

"Sorry. I was thinking."

"That much was obvious. What's wrong?" Severus asked gently.

"Nothing. I'm just nervous. First day of school and all." Harry shrugged, and gave Severus what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

"Understandable, but don't panic. Charms is easy. Flitwick isn't a hard teacher. First day is usually revision."

Harry smiled at his companion again. "Thanks, Snape. I feel better."

Truthfully, though, Harry didn't feel better. He was still worried sick.

As they sat down, Severus and Harry together, Harry noticed a blonde looking at Harry with pure loathing. It was Lucius Malfoy. Wondering what on earth he had done to make Lucius mad at him, considering they hadn't even met, Harry nudged Severus and pointed to Lucius. Severus looked over to the Malfoy, but then looked back at Harry.

"Don't worry about him. That's Lucius Malfoy, he does this to every new Slytherin. Kind of an initiation."

Harry shuddered at Severus' use of the word "initiation". It reminded him of the Death Eaters. Harry wondered if Severus was a Death Eater yet. Glancing over at the teen's arms, he was relieved to see that Severus' sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and that there was no mark.

Harry took another look around the room. A few seats ahead of them were James and Sirius. Harry's stomach gave a jolt. In front of them were Lupin and Lily. Harry's mother. Harry's stomach gave another jolt. Looking around, he could see other familiar faces. Crabbe and Goyle senior, a man who looked freakishly like Oliver Wood, two people who were obviously Neville's parents and others who resembled Harry's classmates. It saddened Harry to know what the future would bring to those around him. But before he could wallow for too long, he felt Severus nudging him and he looked up to see a younger Flitwick enter the room.

"Good morning class. Today we will be doing revision, and I thought we'd start with the summoning charm." Flitwick said in his usual squeaky voice.

Harry grinned. He had mastered the summoning charm, so that was one less thing to worry about.

"From the look on your face I'm guessing you know that spell pretty well," said the voice of Severus from Harry's left.

"Yes. Very well." Harry replied.

"Excellent. Be my partner?" Severus asked.

Bizarre as it was, Harry didn't find himself associating Severus with his older self. They were, in Harry's opinion, basically the same but with a few crucial differences. For one thing, Severus in this time was his own age and therefore didn't look down on him as a student as the thirty eight year old version did. For another, Severus' insults, while rather frequent, lacked the venom of his older self, and were more a form of teasing than anything.

Harry smiled. "Definitely."

OoOoO

"Accio!" cried Harry, summoning the cushion right out of Severus' hands. They had been practising for around half an hour and Harry was bored. He grabbed hold of the pillow as it zoomed towards him and held it tight, waiting for Severus to try summoning it once again. Instead, his partner walked up to him.

"Are you as bored as I am?"

"More." Harry replied.

"You want to get out of here?" Severus asked.

"What?"

"We can sneak out. There are cushions flying everywhere, Flitwick won't even notice." Severus raised an eyebrow and Harry saw the challenge in it.

He thought about it for roughly 2 seconds before he came to a decision.

"Lead the way."

Severus just grinned mischievously in response and motioned for Harry to follow him. They snuck around behind the desks and against the wall. So far, no one seemed to have noticed. As Severus snuck down behind a table, Harry followed before noticing that he was right next to the spot where his father's group was practising. Slowly, he lifted himself up just a tiny bit, to have a peak at how they were doing. Severus pulled him back down.

"What on earth are you doing?" He asked quietly.

"I-nothing. Let's keep going."

They had almost made it to the door when they heard a voice.

"Professor? Snape and the new kid are trying to sneak out."

Harry and Severus turned around to see the smirking face of James Potter.

OoOoO

_2nd September 1997, 7:58am_

Remus sighed as he made his way down to Snape's chambers. Talking to Ron and Hermione the night before had made him think even more about the situation. Everything was so complicated. And Ron and Hermione could tell something was going on, they just didn't know what. It was time for Lupin to continue where Dumbledore left off.

"Snape! Let me in!" he cried as he reached the door to the man's chambers, knocking the door hard.

"Lupin? What do you want?" came a voice from inside.

"To talk! Now let me in!" Remus called back.

"Fine." Snape grumbled, and Lupin could hear the sound of a chair scraping and something falling down. A few seconds later, he was face to face with Snape himself. The Potions Master looked awful. His eyes were dull and had bags. His hair was greasier than ever and despite the fact he wore black robes every day he looked like he hadn't changed clothes since the night before.

"What do you want to talk about?" He asked grumpily.

"Harry. But first I want to know what on earth you've done to yourself. You look terrible."

"Always complimentary Lupin." Severus replied dryly.

"What are you doing to yourself?"

"I'm wallowing. Care to join me? I suppose you're rather depressed that your godson shagged me. Or, young me. Whatever." Snape said dismissively, waving a hand in the air.

It was then that Lupin smelt the alcohol on Snape's breath.

"You're drunk."

"I am not." Snape said proudly. "I haven't been drunk in years. I-" He continued, but stopped as he almost fell over from moving too much. "All right. So maybe I'm a little drunk. Just a little though!" He said, holding up his thumb and index finger close together to indicate just how little he was drunk.

Lupin snorted. This was very un-Snape like behaviour. "You're hammered."

"I am _not_."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"…"

"Damn." Severus said, hitting his head with his palm.

"See, if you weren't drunk, you wouldn't have even participated in that argument, let alone lost it." Lupin pointed out cheerfully and Snape scowled.

"Oh, piss off, wolf."

Lupin just shook his head and pushed Severus into his quarters and onto one of his couches.

"Now, let's get you sober. Do you have any Potions?"

"I have many potions." Snape said with an air of superiority.

Lupin sighed impatiently. "Ones that will make you sober."

"Oh. Erm…left hand cupboard. I believe."

Lupin went over to the cupboard and, sure enough, he found a potion labelled "Sobriety." Remus reached for the Potion and unfolded the small piece of parchment attached to it. It read:

_You shouldn't need this, Snape._

_And if you need it because you were thinking about Potter, then you are a stupid, stupid man and you should go to Albus and tell him everything and then you will be sacked because that is what you deserve._

_Stop thinking about him._

_I mean it._

It was in Snape's handwriting, obviously the result of another night similar to the one Severus had just had. Lupin shook his head and walked back to Snape. Once Snape had ingested the Potion and had had a drink of water, he seemed to sober quite a bit. Lupin decided that he would go and make some breakfast for the man and let the Potion completely take its course.

When he returned to the sitting room he found a sleeping Snape.

"Well," he muttered to himself, "I'm not going to let all my cooking go to waste."

He slammed the tray of breakfast on the coffee table. Snape startled.

"What the fuck? Lupin?"

"Oh, I'm sorry Severus! Were you asleep? I made you some breakfast."

Snape just growled and muttered something about sadistic werewolves.

Lupin had to wait until Snape had ingested his entire breakfast before he finally got the man to talk to him.

"Why were you drinking?" He asked.

"I was depressed. I drink when I'm depressed. It is astounding I have managed to last this long without becoming an alcoholic." Snape replied, but his face contorted as though he was contemplating if he actually was an alcoholic.

"But why? I mean, you've known this was going to happen all along. Last night you said you had time to prepare for it!"

"I know…but I…it's different."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Why am I talking to you about this anyway?" Snape asked.

"Because you need someone to talk to and you know Dumbledore would only stare at you with those twinkling eyes of his."

"True."

"So…why is it different?"

Snape sighed. "I guess I just thought I'd prevent it. But when it came down to it…I didn't want to. And I'm confused. I _hate_ being confused." He said bitterly, as if he was disgusted with himself.

"It's okay to be confused, you know. You are human. Or have your students been right all along about you being the devil himself?" Lupin asked, trying to inject some humour into the situation.

"Stop trying to shrink me." Snape said, completely ignoring the devil comment.

"Somebody needs to." Lupin said.

"I'm fine!" Severus yelled.

"Keep telling yourself that. But, you weren't the reason I came here. It's about Ron and Hermione." Lupin said quietly.

"Weasley and Granger? What about them?" Severus asked harshly.

"I'm starting to agree with Dumbledore. I think you should tell them."

"What? Are you absolutely mad?"

"No. I just…I've been thinking about what's going to happen when Harry comes back."

"What about it?"

"Well," Lupin began, "Imagine when Harry comes back, he wants to see you. And you're there, and he's emotional. And he…well…"

"Spit it out Lupin." Snape said, annoyed.

"What if he kisses you in front of them?"

"That's what's got you worried? Don't panic, Lupin. There is absolutely no risk of that happening whatsoever. Now if you don't mind, I need sleep."

"Erm…you have classes in roughly thirty minutes."

"Bugger." Snape cursed himself.

"And ...um…I think it's a high possibility that it could happen."

"Let it go, Lupin."

"No." Remus replied firmly. "They should know, or they will get the shock of their lives." He said, walking towards the door and opening it slowly. Before he left, he said one last thing. "If you don't tell them, Snape, I will."

Snape just cursed again.

OoOoO

_2__nd__ December 1977, some ungodly hour of the night_

Harry hated detentions, both in 1997 and 1977, he decided as he and Severus scrubbed the floor of the Great Hall. It seemed that the Gryffindors, knowing what the Slytherin's punishment was, had decided to drop every sticky thing they could find. It was not fun.

"I apologise about this." Severus had said when they'd started. Harry had told him not to worry about it. It wasn't his fault, after all. It was his father's. Harry couldn't believe that James had dobbed them in. Although, as a nasty voice in the back of his mind pointed out, he would have done the same to Malfoy or any of his friends.

Flitwick had been very disappointed that Harry and Snape had been trying to sneak out of his class. So their punishment had been to not only clean the floors of the great hall, but to also mend the pillows that they had used in that day's class without magic. Luckily, Harry had had to mend clothes when he lived with the Dursley's for himself, so he knew how to sew the muggle way quite well. Severus, though, was a different matter. He found it incredibly hard, so Harry had had to teach him. And when Severus had asked how Harry knew to sew, Severus had looked so angry. While Harry hadn't really thought it a hardship, it felt nice to have someone who reacted that way to him being treated like that. All Ron and Hermione had ever done was shrug it off, thinking that Harry had been over-exaggerating it. But Severus seemed to really care.

It was obvious to Harry that, although he didn't talk about it much, Severus' life had been much like Harry's. But, the only thing Severus had told him was the information given the previous night. Harry made it his goal to find out more.

In the meantime, he could just enjoy spending time with Severus. In this time, he seemed like such a great person. So kind, funny, attract- Harry stopped himself from finishing that thought. It would not do to keep thinking of the man in that way. It would not do anyone any good. At all.

Harry shook himself and got back to work. He needed to stop thinking about Severus in that way. It was obvious that Severus could never feel the same way. Ever.

_Great _**dimwit**, Harry thought to himself, _you've made yourself depressed._

OoOoO

_3rd September 1977, 1:12pm_

"Erm…excuse me? Alex Redfern?" A tentative female voice asked from above him. Harry looked up to see Lily Evans and Remus Lupin standing next to his desk in the library.

"Yes? Can I help you?" he asked, cursing his voice for breaking at the sight of his mother.

"I'm Lily Evans and this is my friend, Remus Lupin. We just wanted to say that we're very sorry for the way our friends, James and Sirius, dobbed you in. Although, you probably shouldn't have been cutting class." she added as an afterthought.

"You're friends with Potter?" Harry asked.

"Yes. Seventh year Gryffindors. Is that a problem?"

"No. Not at all. Well, you already know I'm Alex Redfern." Harry said, smiling.  
"Yes." Lily said, laughing nervously.

"Well, we just wanted to say that we hope that there are no hard feelings between us three." Remus put in. "We did try and stop them, but…well…once James gets an idea in his head, it's hard to stop him."

"No hard feelings." Harry replied kindly. "I hope that we can be friends."

"Yes. We should hang out sometime." Lily said, smiling too.

"Well, I'm free now. I don't really know anyone to be around, and I've finished this essay." Harry told them, gesturing to the parchment in front of him.

"I saw you with Severus Snape earlier...are you two friends?" Lily asked.

"Oh. Yes, we are. But he's off doing something with Potions...experiments, I think. I'm not sure, I wasn't really enthralled. Potions isn't my thing." He said sheepishly.

"Nor mine." said Remus, grinning. "Lily, here, is the nerd, though." Lily nudged him in the ribs.

"I am not a nerd. I'm just good with Potions. And Defence."

"And Herbology, and Runes and every other subject known to man," Remus teased. Lily scowled.

"You're not exactly stupid either, Remus. Sirius frequently describes you as the "bookish one", does he not?"

Harry laughed. "You remind me of this friend of mine, Hermi-" Harry cut himself off before he said anymore. Not only was it painful to talk about his friends, whom he couldn't contact for God knows how long, it wasn't a good idea to talk about anything from the future, no matter how trivial it seemed. Remus and Lily looked at him, concerned.

"Nothing. Never mind. Would you two like to go to the kitchens or something?" Harry changed the subject in the hope of making them forget his little slip up.

Lily and Remus nodded.

OoOoO

_4__th__ September, 1997_

For Severus Snape, the next week was turning out to be the hardest in his life, never mind Death Eaters and Wars. Lupin had made it quite clear on the first day of classes that he was going to tell Weasley and Granger, but had given Snape a week to think it over.

It was now Wednesday, and Severus couldn't come up with reasons to tell them, apart from the obvious one of Lupin telling them if he didn't. Severus sighed and leaned back in his favourite armchair, which was so large that he could, even as a grown man, curl up fully in it. It was green, surprise surprise, and had been re-sewn in places too many times to count. Still, it was Severus' favourite chair, and he wasn't going to give it up.

Severus shook himself. _Stop thinking about your bloody chair and work this thing out, _he told himself. But it seemed it was hopeless. There was absolutely no way around it. He would have to tell them. Lupin hadn't been friends with Black and Potter Senior without learning anything about manipulation.

_Fuck, _he thought.

OoOoO

By the time Snape had finally worked up the strength to speak to both Granger and Weasley, it was Friday. They were currently sitting up the back of the Potions classroom, in their usual seats. Working students surrounded them, all Slytherins. It seemed as if Dumbledore took a rather sadistic pleasure in putting those houses together in Potions. Or, he could have just been terribly naïve, and believed that the Gryffindors and Slytherins, if forced to work together, might actually become friends. Severus snorted. _Doubtful. Wait- where did that come from? I haven't said that since Harry…_

//Flashback//

"So…" Alex began, fiddling with his robe sleeve. "D'you think Flitwick is going to let us off fairly easy?"

"After we tried to sneak out of his class on the first day back? Fat chance, Redfern." Severus replied.

"Don't say fat chance!" Alex said suddenly.

"What? Why not?"

"Because, that's my saying!"

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is. I say it a lot. So don't say it, or people will think you're copying me." Alex said playfully.

"You've only been here for two days. You're insane."

"I know. It's only a matter of time before it becomes official." Alex replied seriously.

Severus chuckled.

"Just promise me you won't say it."

"Fine. What do I say instead?" Severus asked.

"Umm…how about…_doubtful_?"

"Doubtful? Yes, that might work."

But the boy's conversation came to an end when Professor Flitwick came in to dish out their punishments.

//End Flashback//

When Harry had left, Severus had stopped saying "Doubtful" because it only reminded the Potions Master of Harry. And then he got depressed.

Severus was snapped out of his thoughts by the bell which signalled the end of class rang in his ears. He flinched, cursing whoever had installed the thing.

"Mr. Weasley, Ms Granger, I would like to see you once everyone has left. The rest of you can go, and don't forget homework or there will be a price to pay." He called to the class. There was a shuffle of activity as everyone stood up and moved out. Only Granger and Weasley stayed seated, choosing to move once everyone had left.

"You wanted to see us, sir?" Hermione asked tentatively. Professor Snape had seemed very stressed the past week, and she did not wish to aggravate him any more.

"Do either of you have classes now?" Severus asked.

"Uh…Ron has divination, but I have a free period." Hermione replied.

"Alright. Mr. Weasley, do you particularly enjoy divination?"

"Uh, well, you see-"

"You can be honest Mr. Weasley." Severus said, hiding his amusement at Ron's discomfort.

"Well, it's not my favourite subject-" Ron said, shrugging.

"In that case, there is something I wish to speak to the both of you about. Since you have no classes worth going to, would either of you mind if we spoke now?" Inside, Severus was not very calm. He had no idea how either of them would react.

"Um..now's fine Professor. Right Ron?" Hermione said, surprised at how polite their professor was being. Actually _asking_ them if they had time to talk to him? Would wonders never cease?

Ron nodded. "Now's fine, sir."

"Alright. Take a seat, both of you. I will begin by saying that it was not I who wished to have this conversation. However, both Lupin and Dumbledore feel you have the right to know. And since Lupin threatened to tell you himself, I thought it would be best if I said it before he did." Severus began.

"What is it about, sir?" Hermione asked politely.

"Al- Harry. Well, in some ways, Alex, in some ways Harry. It's very confusing. You see, when he went back, I had no idea of Alex's identity. I knew him as Alex Redfern. Everything he told me was true, except for the fact that I thought he had been home-schooled up until that time, and had just decided to go to Hogwarts because of his abusive family. But I digress. Around Christmas time, he revealed everything to me. Though he didn't really tell me that he and I didn't get along in the future. There were hints, of course, that I later recognised. And, after a few months- yes, Mr. Weasley?" Severus stopped his explanation as Ron raised his hand.

"Um, no offence, sir, but why would Harry tell you?"

"Well, we had become quite good friends by that time. Harry said that he felt…uncomfortable, lying to me, and he told me. Then, after a few months, we, erm, formed a…_relationship_." Severus finished, waiting for them to react.

"But weren't you both already friends?" Hermione asked.

"Yes." Severus replied, waiting for it to click in their brains.

"But then, what- oh." Hermione said, shocked.

Ron still didn't get it.

"Hermione, what's 'oh'? What's going on?"

"I can't believe this." Hermione stated, then she turned to whisper in Ron's ear. Weasley's face turned redder and redder. He looked like he was about to explode.

"What?!" He cried, standing up. "You! You were in a relationship with HARRY?!" He yelled, pointing at Snape.

"Mr. Weasley, calm down." Snape said with forced calm.

"No, I will not calm down! It's sick! It's wrong!" Ron yelled.

"Mr. Weasley!" Snape boomed in his teacher voice, standing up as well. "Had I known what the future would bring, I would not have started it! If you want to be mad at anyone, be mad at Mr. Potter! _He _was the one who knew all the facts! Do_ not _blame me for being a teenager in love!"

"IN _LOVE_? YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD!"

"You claim to have the faintest clue of anything about myself, Weasley?" Snape asked, his voice cold and quiet, almost a whisper.

"I know enough! You're a complete bastard!"

"Did you ever think I was being like that so if Voldemort ever DID come back, my cover wouldn't be entirely blown?"

Ron just stared.

"I've heard enough. I'm leaving." And with that, he stormed out of the classroom, not even noticing that Hermione wasn't following him.

Snape just slumped back into his seat, and looked over at Hermione wearily.

"Well, Miss. Granger, it's your turn. Go ahead and start yelling."

Hermione surprised him, however, by speaking softly. "Did you really love him?"

Snape got a sense of déjà vu; this was how Lupin had reacted. Then again, Lupin and Hermione had quite a few similarities.

"Yes." Snape admitted, and then wondered why he bothered.

"You're right, you know. If Ron should blame anyone, it should be Harry. You weren't to know." She said quietly.

"Thank you." Snape replied.

"Did he love you back?" Hermione asked, shifting her eyes up to meet his normally cold black ones. Today they seemed to just be tired, rather than cold.

"I don't know."

"You never told him."

"It is..._difficult_ to explain." Severus said.

"Yes, I suppose it must be. I guess it's not my business anyway."

"I appreciate you taking it so well." Severus said gently.

"I appreciate you telling us. I know it couldn't have been easy. And I'm very sorry about Ron. He's just very protective of Harry. I suppose he always wanted Harry to end up with Ginny, as well." Hermione explained.

"It was expected." Snape said.

"Well, I really need to think. Thanks for telling us, Professor."

"You are welcome Miss. Granger."

And with that, Hermione left the room, off to find Ron.

End Chapter 2.


	3. I Still Remember

**Title:** A Long Awaited Sentiment

**Author:** nahimana

**Disclaimer/Warnings/Rating: **See chapter 1.

**This Chapter- **It's Christmas time at Hogwarts in two very different eras, Harry learns how to stir a Potion and Remus "visits his grandmother".

Chapter 3- _I Still Remember_

_You should have asked me for it_

_I would have been brave_

_You should have asked me for it_

_How could I say no?_

_And our love could have soared_

_Over playgrounds and rooftops_

_Every park bench screams your name_

_I kept your tie_

_I've gone wherever you wanted_

_(I still remember)_

_- I Still Remember, Bloc Party_

23rd December 1977, Just after dinner

It had been almost four months since Harry had arrived in 1977, and although he knew that eventually he would have to go back, he was currently having too much fun. Over the past months he and Severus had become very good friends. They talked about pretty much everything, including Severus' family, which was a very heavy subject. Severus' father was a follower of the Dark Lord, so of course he had wanted for Severus to follow in his footsteps.

Severus however, after seeing what his father had become one night when he had beaten Severus' mother, had decided not to become a death eater. Snape Senior had not been pleased but Dumbledore had seen what was happening and had taken Severus away from his father before he had been hurt. The Dark Lord was not giving up, though. He used his many spies, mainly Lucius Malfoy, to get to Severus, trying to convince him to join their side.

According to Severus, they would never break him, but of course Harry knew that in the future they would. It gave Harry shivers up his spine to know what would happen to Severus, what he would become, but then Severus would smile at Harry, something he rarely did, and Harry would go all gooey inside. It was an recurring problem and Harry was quite surprised Severus hadn't sent him to the hospital wing to be checked for brain damage.

Currently, Harry was sitting with his head against the back of his bed, reading a muggle book that Severus had given to him. It was called To Kill a Mockingbird and so far Harry was enjoying it immensely.

He looked up as he felt another presence in the room. Severus was standing in the doorway, a slight smile on his face, looking down at Harry. He quickly looked away when he realised Harry was staring back, and the former Gryffindor was startled to notice a faint blush across his cheeks, something that hadn't happened in his four months with the younger Severus. Who would have thought that Severus Snape could blush?

"How's the book going?" Severus asked as he moved over to sit on his own bed, which was across from Harry's.

"Huh?" Harry asked, too caught up in his own thoughts.

"The book. How is it so far?" Severus repeated.

"Oh-um. Yeah, it's good. I'm just finishing the fourth chapter," Harry replied slowly, coming back into the real world.

"That's it?" Severus asked, as if surprised Harry hadn't read the whole book already.

"Yes. I'm an incredibly slow reader. Sorry," Harry said sheepishly.

"No need to apologise, you silly goose."

"Silly goose?" Harry quoted, raising his eyebrows.

"My mother used to call me that when I was little. It just sort of stuck," Severus said, now rather sheepish himself.

"That's sweet."

"I don't do sweet."

"If you say so."

Severus just glared.

"Are you ready for Christmas?" Harry asked, changing the subject completely.

"Yes, I've bought all the things I need to, although my Christmas list has rather diminished this year. How about you?" Severus asked, raising an eyebrow, "you didn't seem to do much shopping last Hogsmeade visit," he continued.

"Yes, well, there are a few reasons for that. One: like you, I don't have many people to buy for; just you, Lily and Remus. Two: I hate shopping, so I worked out exactly what I was going to get beforehand. And number three: I don't know if you've forgotten this, but we were ambushed mid-way through by Potter's gang," Harry said grumpily. Sadly, things between him and his father were not going very well. Harry had tried quite a few times to talk to the man, but he refused to associate with Slytherins. Fortunately, his friendships with both Lily and Remus were progressing well, and it felt great to know his mother better. He only wished he could know both his parents. After everything people had told him, James was supposed to have grown up in his seventh year. Apparently that meant that he didn't curse people for no reason anymore, but he still didn't speak to Slytherins.

"Eh, just ignore Potter. He's an arsehole. Always showing off. He's just a big bully. And Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs just follow his lead." Severus said, picking at a nail. Harry stared at the cover of his book.

"Yes, well, unfortunately they're not the only ones. I don't know if you've noticed, but no one in Slytherin seems to like me either." he said, voicing something that had been bothering him for some time. "What's up with that?" he asked.

"Well, I know that Malfoy has turned them against you, but why he hates you, I don't know. It's like you've stolen something of his or something. I dunno." Snape shrugged, apparently uninterested.

Harry sighed. Truth be told, he had a fair idea why Lucius Malfoy hated him. The blonde seemed weirdly obsessed with Severus, and hated the fact that he and Harry were always together. Whenever he had brought it up with Severus though, he would just laugh and tell Harry to stop being ridiculous.

"Who knows? I don't care. I've still got you, right?" Harry said, grinning up at his companion.

"Sure do. You're stuck with me. And my bad habits," Severus replied.

"Bad habits?" Harry asked, curious.

"You actually think I'm going to tell you my bad habits? You'll just have to discover them on your own," Snape said, looking at Harry in an odd way.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Harry, or, rather, Alex, asked curiously.

"Just…you're different to everyone else, you know? I've been thinking. It's like…you've been to Hogwarts before and you know everyone…but they don't know you and…it's nothing. I always get weird around Christmas. But it's just...when you first semi-met Pettigrew, you just glared at him and started muttering "traitor". What was that all about?" Severus replied, confused and, Harry suspected, annoyed at being confused.

"Okay, let me get this straight. It's like I know everybody but they don't know me?" Harry asked, pointedly ignoring Severus' real question.

"Exactly." Severus said, nodding. By this time, he had moved over to sit on the edge of Harry's bed. He shifted slightly as Harry stared at him.

Meanwhile, Harry was going through everything in his head. He wanted to tell Severus, he really did, but it would risk everything…or would it? Severus would understand what a great risk it would be to tell anyone. And, if Harry was going to find a way to get back, he needed some help. No. Said a stern voice in his head, which sounded remarkably like Hermione. You cannot tell him. Yes I can, Harry argued back. He wouldn't tell. I trust him. The little voice started speaking again, but Harry tuned it out.

"Severus, there's something I have to tell you." he began, motioning for the other Slytherin to get comfortable.

"Yes?" Snape asked, slightly nervous. Harry seemed awfully serious.

"I…I'm not who you think I am. I'm from the future. 1997 to be exact. A spell hit me on my way to Hogwarts, and somehow I was sent back here. This isn't what I really look like either. I have a glamour on," Harry said seriously, mainly speaking to his knees than to Severus himself. He was not expecting Severus' reaction, though. He laughed.

"What's so funny?" Harry asked, slightly hurt.

"Good one Alex. Very funny. Now will you really tell me what's going on?"

"Severus, I'm serious. I am from the future." Harry looked at his earnestly.

"Alex, stop pissing around and tell me what is really going on."

"Severus," Harry said, looking the teen in the eye, "I'm not pissing around. And…my name's not Alex. It's Harry. I can't tell you what my last name is, though."

Severus just stared at him for a moment, before he spoke in a surprisingly soft voice. "But…but that's not possible. No. I don't believe you."

"It's the truth, Sev."

Normally, Severus would snap at Harry to not call him Sev, but it seemed he was in too big of a shock.

"And your name's Harry?" he asked, clarifying.

"Yes." Harry replied simply.

"Right. And you didn't tell me this before, why?" Severus asked, suddenly sounding upset.

"Because, I didn't know if I could trust you. This is huge, Severus. And, I'm still unsure about it. I mean I could have already screwed up the world I come from. I could no longer exist. The people I love could not be friends with me anymore. I don't know."

Severus seemed to understand.

"Am I in the world you come from?" He asked, curious.

"Yes. You're there. You're older, of course, but we…know…each other."

"Are we friends? Because, if I knew it was you, I'm sure I'd want to be friends with you. Unless you don't like me?" Severus asked, and Harry was shocked to hear insecurity in Severus' normally sure and deep voice.

"Um…Severus, I'm sorry, but I can't really say," Harry said nervously.

"You can't tell me anything? At all? Nothing?"

"No, I'm sorry. I just…I needed you to know," Harry said apologetically.

"It's okay. I understand. I just wish I could know. I'm not going to find out for another…what, 20 years?"

"Well, try thirteen. We met when I was eleven," Harry said.

"I suppose you can't tell me who your parents are, can you?"

"No. Sorry. But I…I want to show you my real appearance."

Throughout the years, Harry had gotten fewer comments on how much he looked like his father. Really, there were only a few similarities now. He just looked like a big mush of his parents. So, Harry figured it would be okay if Severus saw him…he hoped.

"Really? I'd like that."

"Okay," Harry said, muttering a spell under his breath, changing his appearance back to normal.

Severus took him all in.

"You don't actually look that different, you know," he said.

"Yeah, just my eye colour and a few other little things."

"I like your natural eye colour. They're sort of like Evans'. But…different. I think they have a bit of brown, or blue, in them?"

"Yes…that'd be right." Harry said, nodding slowly.

"Bugger it. I was hoping you would really look like someone so I could tell who your parents are." Severus said, faking petulance.

Harry laughed. "Sorry to disappoint." He wasn't sure if it was because he really didn't look like his parents that much, or if it was because Severus was denying the fact that he was most probably James Potter's son, but either way, Severus didn't seem to recognise him. And, Harry decided, he was glad that he had told Severus.

OoOoO

23rd December 1997, 10:45pm

Severus sighed as he made another calculation in his leather journal. He had had the thing for years, and it had every calculation he had ever made in it. He continually needed to put more paper in it, but he couldn't bear to part with it. It was...special to him.

He looked over the page of notes he had made, but stopped when he heard a knock at his office door. It was late, at least after ten o'clock, but Severus had always been late to bed, early to rise. He called for the person outside to enter.

In stepped the two people he was least expecting to see, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger.

"Miss Granger, Mr. Weasley, what are you both doing here? And after curfew no less?" Severus asked silkily.

"Good evening Professor," Hermione said. "We won't take up too much of your time. We're just here because Ronald has something he wants to say."

Severus nodded for the Weasley to speak. Ever since 'the incident,' as Snape was calling it, Weasley and he had been on even more edgy ground. It seemed that the red-haired boy had been in a state of denial the past four months.

"Erm…sir, Hermione has helped me to um, see that, really, it's not your fault about the whole relationship-with-Harry thing. He was the one who knew everything. And, well, I just want to say that… I'm sorry for the way I reacted." Behind Ron, Severus could see Hermione smiling slightly. He did not know what the girl had done, or rather not done, to get Weasley to apologise, but Severus was very grateful.

"Apology accepted Mr. Weasley. Was there anything else either of you wanted?" Snape questioned.

"No sir. That's all," Hermione said, grabbing Ron's arm and pulling him out the door. Just before she went out of sight, she turned around.

"Goodnight Professor."

"Good evening Miss Granger," Severus replied, shocking himself slightly. Was he actually being civil with a Gryffindor? You were a lot more than "civil" with Harry, weren't you? A snide voice in the back of his head said. I didn't know he was a Gryffindor then. Severus replied. He was pleased to hear no more from the voice that night. Instead, his dreams were filled of memories with Harry and he woke up feeling empty and alone, not for the first time.

OoOoO

25th December, 1977, 7am

"Merry Christmas Harry!" Severus shouted into Harry's ear at exactly seven am, Christmas morning. Everyone else was already up, and down in the common room opening presents. Surprisingly, a lot of the student body had decided to stay these holidays. Severus suspected that it was because there was a rumour that Dumbledore had a surprise planned for those who stayed. Of course, Severus and Harry had already planned to stay, given the fact that Severus had nobody to go back to, and Harry was in the wrong time altogether.

Since Harry had told Severus, the two had been closer than they had been before. Even though Harry couldn't really tell Severus anything, it still felt as if they knew more about each other. Severus had even taken to calling Harry by his real name when they were alone, even though Harry couldn't take his glamour off.

Snape looked back down at the bed when he heard Harry stir.

"Go 'way," he mumbled. "Too early."

Severus chuckled; Harry was not a morning person, and Severus was.

"Get up you lazy sod. It's Christmas."

That seemed to wake the green-eyed teen a bit more. He poked his head out from under the covers to look at his fellow Slytherin.

"Christmas?"

"Yes, and presents."

Harry brightened visibly. He pushed the covers off himself and climbed out of bed. And once he was dressed, they went down to the common room together.

"Happy Christmas," Severus said about 20 minutes later, handing a wrapped gift to Harry, who beamed back at him.

"Wicked! Thanks, Severus. What is it?"

"If you open it, you'll find out," the black-eyed man replied as if speaking to a small child.

Harry just mock-glared at him and began to tear the wrapping. He gasped when he saw what was inside.

"It's a joint gift from Evans, Lupin and I. I got you a few other little things…but this is your main present."

Harry just stared at it in awe. It was a silver band, with four charms hanging from it. One was a wolf with amber eyes, which Harry presumed was from Remus, even though the werewolf had not yet revealed his secret to Harry. The second was a small ginger cat, with startling green eyes, like Lily's. The third was a red snake with black eyes, as black as Severus'. And the fourth was a black panther, with green eyes as well.

"Evans asked why I insisted we got you with green eyes. I told her that you wish you had green eyes," Severus said softly.

Harry turned to him. "I don't know what to say."

"You can add new charms, for each of your friends in your time." Severus replied.

Instead of saying anything, Harry just hugged Severus with all his might. The Slytherin appeared uncomfortable with their first hug, but returned the embrace eventually, pleased that their gift had made Harry so happy.

"I got you something too," Harry said, pulling away. Severus could have sworn he saw tears in the teen's eyes.

"You bloody better have."

Harry smacked him on the arm. "Greedy git."

"Ah, but you love me despite my flaws."

"Sad, but true," Harry said, laughing. "Now hold on, I'll go get your present," He said, dashing up to the dorms, leaving Severus mildly surprised. It had felt so wonderful to have Harry wrapped in his arms. And then, when Severus had made the "flaw" comment, Harry had not denied that he loved Severus. Could he ever love him back? Or was Harry just playing along with Severus' little mock-drama? He was so confused. He wanted Harry so badly; he had spent a lot of his time telling himself that it was never going to happen. It was so frustrating. Severus hated feeling like this, which was why he kept himself distanced from everyone.

Severus was snapped out of his Harry-dreaming when Harry himself returned from the dorm. He was carrying a rather large present wrapped in bright gold paper. He set it down next to Severus and looked at the other teen expectantly.

"Well?" he asked. "Do you need an invitation or are you going to open it?"

"I, unlike you, have self control, Mr. Redfern."

Harry just stared at him. The way Severus had said that reminded Harry of the older Snape. His teacher Snape. It was not only Severus' feeling which had escalated over the first term. Harry found himself becoming more and more attracted to his future Potions professor. But he knew it could not, would not, work. So, he repeated that mantra to himself over and over again every night before he went to sleep.

"Alex?" Severus asked, clicking his fingers in front of Harry's face. "Are you in there?"

Harry's eyes snapped over to focus on Severus. "Yes, I'm fine," he said.

"Now open your present!"

"Okay, okay!" Severus laughed, throwing his hands up in mock-defeat. He slowly began unwrapping the present, taking his time, knowing that he was greatly annoying his friend. Harry knew exactly what Severus was trying to do, but he would not take the bait. He waited patiently for Severus to unwrap the gift. He got a rather similar reaction to his gift as he himself had given to Severus' own gift. It was a large cauldron, made out of the best materials money could buy. Thank god I had all that money in my trunk with me, Harry thought to himself. The cauldron was filled with ingredients as well as a beautiful eagle-feather quill and a leather-bound journal to write down new recipes in, to make notes and to make calculations in.

"Wow. It's…I don't know what to say."

"That's what I said before." Harry pointed out smugly, pleased his present had elicited such a reaction from Snape.

"Thank you. It's... perfect." Severus sounded surprised. Honestly.

"You're very welcome." Harry said. "Now…shall we have a snowball fight?"

OoOoO

12th January 1997, 3:30pm

"Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger, I would like to see you both please." He could hear an audible groan coming from Ronald Weasley and a slap on his arm by Hermione Granger as Severus Snape finished handing out the previous week's assignments, completed and marked.

Everybody else filed out the classroom and Severus got an entirely unwelcome feeling of déjà vu.

"Professor? You wanted to see us?" Hermione asked. Severus was startled to find that everybody had left, leaving only himself and the two Gryffindors.

"Yes. I did. Remus Lupin has just arrived back at Hogwarts, and would like you to join him and myself tonight. He believes he has something that might be of interest to you."

"Is it about Harry?" Ron asked immediately and Snape sighed.

"I do not know. All I know, I have told you. I am as 'out of the loop' as you both are. Now, can I tell Lupin to expect you both?" Snape asked impatiently, wishing for nothing more than to stay away himself.

"Yes, sir. We'll be there." Ron and Hermione replied together.

"Very well then. You are dismissed. Oh, and the time is seven o'clock, by the way. In my office," he said, nodding for them to go. Truth be told, he was a tad worried about what Lupin had to show Weasley and Granger. It could have been something he did not want to be seen. But, the damned werewolf had refused to tell him, so he had to just wait and see.

OoOoO

12th January 1997, 7pm

"Ron! Hermione!" Remus exclaimed as he opened the door. "I'm so glad you came. Come in, sit down."

"Lupin, this is my classroom. Stop acting like it's your home," Severus grumbled, now thoroughly annoyed at being left to dwell on things, which he had been doing all afternoon.

"Stop being grumpy, Snape," Remus replied. "Now. I have a surprise. I thought, since you two," he said, gesturing to Ron and Hermione, "will be missing Harry, I thought I'd have a look through my old photos and I found some of when he was back in my time!" Remus said happily.

Ron and Hermione grinned. "That's great! Let's see 'em!" Ron said.

Remus pulled out a box from underneath a table.

"Lupin, I don't know why I have to be here," Severus began, "I've already lived through all-"

Remus interrupted him. "I'm sure you'll find some interest in them, Severus. I have one which I think you'll love."

Snape just grumbled.

OoOoO

"And that's Harry, Lily and me on Christmas Eve. That was a lot of fun. We had a great chat that night."

"Cool. Where are you, Professor?" Hermione asked, looking up at the silent black-robed figure who appeared to be very interested in his fingernails.

"I was working on a Potion. Har- Potter and I spent Christmas day together instead." Severus replied.

"Oh! That reminds me!" Lupin said, rummaging through the box. "Aha!" He exclaimed triumphantly, pulling out a photo. "I think you'll find this to your liking Severus," he said, handing the photo over to the Potions professor.

Severus took it, and looked at it. It was of him and Harry on Christmas day. They had been having a snowball fight with Lily and Remus, and were pink in the face. They had both collapsed onto the side of the lake, and they were talking quietly. Occasionally, Harry would laugh and Severus would scowl playfully. They looked truly happy. And they were.

Severus sighed and looked up at Remus.

"Do you mind if I keep this?" he asked.

"No, not at all," Remus replied gently.

"Well, I have Potions I need to make. Lupin, Miss Granger, Mr. Weasley," he said, nodding at each one in turn, before sweeping out of the room.

Nobody pointed out that it was Snape's classroom he was leaving.

OoOoO

29th January, 1977, 7pm

"So, are you ready to begin?" Severus asked Harry as he entered the empty classroom.

"Yes," Harry replied, shivering slightly. It was cold down in the dungeons and while the common room had heating, the dark unused classroom Severus had suggested for their tutoring sessions did not.

"So, I though for tonight we'd just work on some first year potions, so I can work out what areas we need to focus on," Severus said, dumping a box of ingredients as well as his cauldron onto a desk.

"Sounds fine to me. Thanks for doing this. It'll be really useful to actually know how to make a potion. God, I might actually not get a detention when I get back…" Harry trailed off, looking uncomfortable.

"Is your teacher in the future strict?" Severus asked while he started taking out the ingredients.

Harry just watched him for a while, before finally answering. "You could say that. He's just…he doesn't seem to be happy. He's obviously had a hard life." Harry told him, shrugging a little and scratching his ear.

"That doesn't mean he should take it out on his students," Severus said.

Harry just sniggered slightly. If Severus only knew…

"Just you wait," he said. "Once you spend two minutes with me, you'll realise he's right." He said, grinning sheepishly.

Severus looked up from where he was lighting a fire under a cauldron. "But I've partnered with you in class before."

"I guess you didn't notice that I was being extremely careful. I'm pretty hopeless normally. I just was being extra careful with you, I guess. Besides, you were doing most of the work. I was only chopping."

"I suppose. I guess I'll have to wait 'till I see you in action," Severus replied.

"I guess you will. Now…which potion do you want to make?"

"I'd like you to do a simple cure to boils. Is that okay?" Snape asked.

"Yeah, it's fine," his student, of sorts, replied.

"Okay. Well, here are your ingredients," Severus said, gesturing to the desk he'd been laying things out on, "get started."

Harry smiled nervously and sat down. Young or not, Harry was extremely nervous about making the potion in front of Severus. He took a look at the recipe. It seemed fairly simple.

Severus sat across from him silently while Harry chopped, diced, skinned and grated all the ingredients. He still did not speak when Harry added them one by one. He did, however, speak up when Harry began stirring vigourously.

"No, no, no," he said, watching Harry's hands. "You're stirring too fast. It's not a race. You'll bruise the ingredients if you go that fast."

Harry slowed down. "Like this?"

"It's the right pace but…something is wrong. Didn't anyone ever teach you how to stir?" Severus asked, as if it was a basic thing that Harry should know. Harry thought back.

"No, I don't think so," he said finally.

"Well, that's ridiculous. It's a basic thing. No wonder you're so hopeless. But, you're doing everything else right."

Severus stood up and moved over to where Harry was sitting.

"Okay, stand up," he said. Harry complied.

Severus stood behind him and grabbed Harry's right hand, which was holding the wooden stick used for stirring. "Okay, now gently move your hand in a figure eight." Severus spoke softly into Harry's ear. Harry shivered again, but this time, not from the cold. He could feel Severus' strong hand over his, gently helping it move in a figure eight. Eventually, Severus seemed to be happy with Harry's stirring technique.

"You've got it! I don't think I have much left to teach you. What we'll do is study the properties of each plant, and why they work, so you can understand the mechanics behind-" he stopped. Harry had turned around to face him, and they were still holding hands. They both seemed to realise how close they actually were, but neither made any move to separate them. If anything, they were slowly leaning closer, until there was no more than an inch between them.

Harry was having an argument with himself inside his head. What are you doing? This is Snape. It's one thing to be friends with him, but you're going to kiss him?! So what if I kiss him? I like him. No! Don't say that! It's Snape!!! What would Ron think? I don't care. Harry replied, shutting the voice in his head out. He liked Severus, and it seemed Severus liked him. But just as he was about to close the remaining distance between them, they heard a whistling sound coming from Harry's cauldron. His potion was ready.

They both sprang apart, each looking as awkward as the other.

"Erm…your potion is ready," Severus pointed out shakily, mentally berating himself for the squeakiness of his voice.

"R-right," Harry said, turning back around and distinguishing the flame beneath it.

"You may as well give them to Pomfrey. She always needs extra potions." Severus suggested, glad that his voice had gone back to normal.

"Okay. Well, thank you for the lesson. It was very…um…good. I'm glad you taught me that stirring thing," Harry replied, packing away his ingredients and bottling the potion.

"You're welcome."

They were silent while Harry finished packing; the only sounds those of glass bottles clinking together.

"Well, here are your ingredients. I'll…go now. See you."

"Bye," Severus muttered, watching Harry leave the room, and once he was sure Harry had left, he slumped into a seat and buried his face in his hands.

OoOoO

29th January 1997, Dinner Time

"Professor?! Professor?!" Hermione called, running up behind Snape. The aforementioned man turned around and glared at her.

"Yes, Miss. Granger? What is it that you want?" he asked, ignoring the students passing by them in the hallway hurrying off to dinner.

"I-um- I wanted to talk to you."

"About?" Snape asked impatiently.

"Alex." Hermione replied, speaking in "code".

"Very well. Now is not the time though. Come to my office tonight, after dinner." Snape suggested.

"Can Ron come?" she asked.

"If he must," Severus sighed, before stalking off. He was in a particularly foul mood today. Actually, he had been in a foul mood ever since bloody Lupin had given him the picture. As if it hadn't been hard enough for him to cope with everything, the photo had just made him miss Harry more than he already had. Of course, he would never admit to anyone that he missed Harry, at all. It would take veritaserum to get him to admit that.

By the time Severus was finally snapped out of his reverie, if was way past dinner, and Granger and Weasley had arrived.

"Sir?" Hermione called out, rapping on the door gently.

"Come in," Severus answered, grabbing a quill to make it look like he'd been working.

"Oh, I hope we didn't interrupt your work, Professor."

"I am merely working on-" Severus looked down at his paper. It read 'Reasons Why I Hate Harry Potter.' Fuck. He'd forgotten that was there. Stupid denial. "-a lesson plan," he finished lamely, hastily shoving the piece of paper into a drawer.

"Okay, well, um, there's just some things that Ron and I-" At this point, Ron had also entered the room, rather sullenly. Severus guessed that Weasley had not been as enthusiastic about this meeting as Granger had. "-would like to talk about with you. Mainly stuff about Harry. Because, well, Professor Lupin went back yesterday and we didn't really find out everything we wanted to know," she said.

Severus nodded. "All right. You may ask me your questions. I suppose it is fair. I am aware that, in your position, I would expect the same courtesy. However, I do reserve the right to refuse to answer any questions I find…inappropriate," he said, allowing a hint of ominousness to creep into his voice in warning.

"Thank you very much, Sir." Hermione smiled gratefully, as if relieved that Severus had not kicked her out for even thinking up such a thing.

"Um. Well, we wanted to know if he was any different, first of all," Ron blurted, taking charge at last.

"Different from the Harry you know? Well, from what I've noticed over his years here, he wasn't exceptionally different. I don't know. Give me an example." Snape said, as they sat down in front of his desk.

"Well, with us, he wasn't very…cheerful." Hermione told him reluctantly.

"He was cheerful. Too bloody cheerful if you ask me. Except when he was around his father in the beginning. They didn't get along at first. I didn't understand back then, of course, but now I do." Snape said.

"Okay…well, how did he cope around others he knew?"

"Let me see…Lucius Malfoy hated him from the beginning. And… something happened with that. He got hurt, but he was okay… eventually."

"He got hurt? How?!"

"Lucius. Bastard," Snape replied savagely.

"Apart from that," he continued, "his mother and Remus Lupin got along well. Not many of the other students liked him, or even knew him. I think he quite enjoyed the anonymity. Quite different to how he has it in our time."

"That's Harry," Hermione said fondly.

"Was there anything else you would like to know? I'd rather you got it all out now, instead of coming back every few days," Severus stated testily.

"No…I think that's all. You said that Remus and he got along?"

"Yes. From the beginning."

"So Remus should know pretty much everything you do?"

"Possibly. Everything that I'd even tell you anyway," Severus smirked.

"Okay. Thanks very much Professor Snape," Hermione inclined her head.

"Yes. Thanks, sir," Ron put in, in a surprising display of politeness.

Severus just nodded to them, watching the two Gryffindors walk out the door of his office.

OoOoO

2nd February, 1977

For the past few days, Severus and Harry had been avoiding each other as if they had the plague. Which, when you live with someone who shares the same classes and a dorm and such, is a pretty good feat. Finally, Harry got fed up and decided to just talk to Severus. It would be incredibly awkward, but Harry had missed the company of the other Slytherin.

"Severus," he said firmly, standing over him while the black-eyed teen read. Severus looked up.

"Yes?" he asked, surprised.

"We need to talk. Come with me," Harry stated, turning and going up to the dorms.

Severus looked in his direction confusedly for a few seconds, before getting up and following. When he entered the dorms, he found Harry sitting cross legged on Severus' bed, waiting.

"Sit down," he invited. Severus complied.

"Now, we have to get over this awkwardness between us. It's not as if anything happened," Harry started.

"But it could have-" Severus started, only to be cut off by Harry.

"Yes. It could have. But it wouldn't have meant anything." Harry could have kicked himself.

"You're right," Severus said, dejectedly.

"Of course I am," Harry replied cheekily. "So we're over this nonsense? Because I've really missed you these past couple of days."

Severus mumbled something along the lines of "missed you too." Harry smiled, knowing that it would take a lot for Severus to admit it clearly to him. It was the best he could get, and he was grabbing onto it.

OoOoO

4th February 1977, 10:35am

"Good Morning class," Professor Frink said to the class of defence students in front of him. Professor Frink was an odd man. He was rather short and skinny, with strangely styled light hair. He wore glasses, not unlike Harry's old ones, before he had gotten contacts in the sixth year on the recommendation of Dumbledore. It would not to do for Voldemort to win the war because Harry was busy looking for his glasses. He hadn't, however, taken to wearing the glasses all the time. Instead, he wore his new glasses most of the time and the contacts only when needed. As well as the man's odd appearance, Harry found the man to be quite unusual in his teaching methods. He always got them to do demonstrations of a spell before learning anything about it. For example, on Harry's first day of class, he had been told to perform a hex he had never heard of on a fellow student. The poor bugger had been in hospital for a week, because Harry had said the spell wrong. From then on, Harry had read ahead and practised each spell.

Somebody nudged him, and Harry snapped out of his daydreaming. He looked next to him to see Severus smirking at him. Harry smiled back.

"Now, today class, I thought we'd do something a little different," Frink said, looking around eagerly. The class exchanged worried glances.

"I'm going to have each one of you come up and have a little duel with me! Doesn't that sound fun?!" The professor received some half-hearted "yesses" in response, as well as a few shrugs and a shaking of the head from some particularly awful students.

Once everybody had cleared their desks, Frink had them stand around a large circular mat in the middle of the classroom. One by one, students got up to duel. Each one only lasted 5 or 6 curses. Frink, although slightly off, knew his stuff.

Eventually, it was Harry's turn. He gave a nervous smile to Severus before going to stand on the opposite side of the mat to Frink.

The professor started off easily, with a jelly-legs curse. Harry dodged it with ease, before sending a stunning spell in Frink's direction. The teacher missed it narrowly, sending back a petrifying spell. They continued on like this for at least ten minutes, and Harry could tell that the professor was getting tired. As he dodged another stunning spell, he sent a petrifying curse mid-jump, surprising Frink so much that he did not have time to dodge it, and therefore he ended up petrified. When the class had finally registered what had happened, they went into rounds of applause. Harry just laughed at their enthusiasm and went over to rouse the teacher.

Frink was very impressed with Harry's duelling skills, and, after shaking himself off, proceeded to commend Harry on every aspect of the duel.

When most of the class had left, Severus approached Harry.

"Wow. You weren't lying when you said you were good."

"I know," Harry replied smugly.

Severus snorted. "Well, when are you going to teach me your secrets, oh master of defence?"

"Soon," Harry grinned mysteriously. They both grabbed their bags and began heading out the door. Halfway down to lunch, however, they were stopped by James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. Remus was "visiting his grandmother".

"Hey, Redfern!" Harry groaned.

"Yes, Potter?" Harry asked impatiently.

"About the duel just now-"

"Save it Potter. I know you're probably pissed at me for hurting your favourite Professor or whatever, but I'm not in the mood for your bullshit," Harry really hated having to be like this to his father. He had thought, hoped, that he could get to know him.

"No, that's not what I wanted to talk about at all. I just wanted to say that…well maybe we misjudged you. We saw how you enervated Frink right away. And besides, Remus is always raving on about how nice you are. Well, anyway, what I was trying to say was… I'm sorry. And I'd really like it if we could get to know each other better."

Harry couldn't believe his ears.

"You want to get to know...me?" he asked.

"Yes. And I realise it may be too late, but-"

"No," Harry interrupted, "it's not too late. I'd like to get to know you. If you can stand to be 'round a "Slimy Slytherin" though."

James laughed. "I'll give it a go. Besides, Moon- I mean, Remus keeps raving on about how you probably could have been in Gryffindor anyway."

Harry smiled. "Okay, so…um. Well, we've got to go to lunch," he said, pointing to Severus who had, surprisingly, been quiet through all of this, with no comments other than a scathing look at Sirius and a raised eyebrow at James. "But… maybe we could hang out one night?"

"Sure," James agreed, motioning for Sirius and Peter to follow him off to the great hall to have lunch.

Harry turned to Severus. "How do you feel about this?" he asked.

"Well, I hate Potter," Harry cringed, "But…you seem to want to be friends with him. I'm guessing it's just got something to do with the future or something? I dunno. Well, it's okay with me, I suppose. This whole thing is so weird…" Severus trailed off, heading to the Great Hall himself. Harry just smiled and followed.

OoOoO

11th February 1977, 6:15pm

It had been a week since James and Harry had first spoken. Since then, the two had been giving polite hellos on the way to class, but tonight would be their first meeting. Sirius and Peter weren't coming, it would just be Harry and James. And Harry was freaked out.

"Why the hell are you so nervous? If I didn't know better, I'd say you fancied him," Severus pointed out as he watched Harry hold up another outfit, only to throw it onto the bed.

Harry shuddered. After all, Severus was implying that he fancied his father. Ew.

"Let me assure you Severus, that I have only platonic feelings for James."

"Really."

"Yes. Really. Really." Harry emphasised, to make sure Severus got the point.

"Okay, I believe you. Is there anyone you do fancy? You know, you haven't even told me your sexuality."

"It's never come up. Besides, you haven't told me yours either."

"True. I'm gay. Now you know. And you?" Severus said casually.

Harry was a little too shocked from Severus' blunt statement to answer right away. He blinked.

"I'm bi, actually," he confessed eventually.

"Interesting," Severus said thoughtfully.

"Why? What?" Harry asked.

"Well, I just always though you were gay, not bi."

"What? Why would you think that?" Harry questioned, perplexed.

"It's nothing, don't mind me. Get on with your choosing of the clothes."

Eventually, Harry put on a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. Casual, but not too casual. He headed down to the common room after saying good-bye to Severus.

James and he had decided to meet up in the gardens outside. It was a cold day, so Harry had also thrown on a robe before leaving.

"Hey Redfern," said a voice behind him. Harry turned around.

"Hey Potter," Harry returned, thinking about how weird it was to call someone Potter. "I thought we were supposed to meet in the gardens?" he asked, confused.

"Yeah, well, I saw you here, so I figured we could walk down together."

"Okay," Harry shrugged.

James caught up with Harry and began to walk beside him.

"So, what's the deal with you and Snape? I mean, you seem nice but he's an arsehole," James said casually, as though talking about the weather.

Harry kept his tone even. "We're friends. He's not an arsehole, he's just a guy who's had a lot of shit in his life. He's actually quite nice."

"Yeah, whatever," James replied, not believing him.

"Truly, he's nice. Why don't you like him? Is it because he's a Slytherin, or what?" Harry asked, hearing annoyance in his voice.

"It's…complicated. Before I came here, we were good friends. Our parents went to the same social things, and we were the only kids, so we always hung out. Well anyway, when we came here, I guess that we had both thought about what houses we'd be in, but not where the other would be. He ended up in Slytherin and I ended up in Gryffindor. At first it didn't stop us being friends, but then we sort of drifted apart. The worst part of it is, that I don't really hate him. It's like it's a habit now."

Harry sighed. "Why don't you just talk to him?"

"Nah, can't. Too much history. But you wouldn't understand."

"You may be surprised…" Harry muttered, following James off into the gardens.

End Chapter 3


	4. Standing in the Way of Control

**Title:** A Long Awaited Sentiment

**Author:** nahimana

**Disclaimer/Warnings/Rating: **See chapter 1.

**This Chapter- **The boys finally get it on, Dumbledore's off with the Pixies, and Snape just doesn't do cute.

Chapter 4- _Standing in the Way of Control_

_Your back's against the wall_

_There's no-one home to call_

_You're forgetting who you are_

_You can't stop crying_

_It's part not giving in_

_And part trusting your friends_

_You do it all again_

_You don't stop trying_

_Standing in the way of control_

_You live your life_

_Survive the only way that you know_

_- Standing in the Way of Control, The Gossip_

23rd February 1978, 5pm

For a reason unknown to him, Severus Snape had been sent a note via owl at breakfast, requesting for him to join the headmaster at 5pm that evening. Curious about the subject of the meeting, Severus left earlier than was truly needed. When he had left, Harry had been doing his homework muttering about frog's legs and cucumber skins. Severus had no idea what he was doing, as the assignment the Potions master had given them was an essay on the properties of dragon liver. Severus would never understand Harry, but that did not mean he couldn't try. Having always enjoyed puzzles, Harry was an enigma Severus was more than happy to attempt to figure out.

Severus was startled to realise that his feet had carried him to the entrance to Dumbledore's office during his reverie. After speaking the password ("blueberry muffins"), Severus entered the office. He was five minutes early, but Dumbledore seemed to be alone, so he rapped on the door, which flew open seconds later.

"Severus, my boy! Come, sit down! Would you care for a blueberry muffin? I've become rather fond of them." Dumbledore offered from his seat behind his desk. Severus had always thought that he looked rather regal sitting up there.

Severus eyed the muffins. Deciding against taking one, Severus opted instead to sit down across from the headmaster, who seemed even cheerier than usual.

"Erm-sir?" Severus tentatively spoke up when the old man didn't begin speaking.

"Oh-yes! Sorry my boy, I was off with the pixies."

Although Severus knew the phrase to be a muggle one, he couldn't help but think that Dumbledore might be talking literally. You never knew with Albus Dumbledore.

"There was something you wished to discuss with me, headmaster?" he queried.

"Yes. It's about young mister Redfern."

Severus fidgeted nervously. What if Dumbledore had found out about where Harry really came from? Severus knew it was inevitable, but he did not want to see Harry go. "What about him, sir?"

"I'm not sure exactly what it is, but ever since Alex came here, I've felt rather like I'm missing something. Is there something he has not told me, that he has told you?" Dumbledore asked, curious. Severus was shocked. He had never known Dumbledore to be confused as to what was going on. He always seemed to know everything.

"Erm- no, professor. He hasn't told me anything." Severus felt bad about lying, but if the headmaster found out, they would be in trouble.

"Okay then Severus, if you say so. Do let me know if Mr. Redfern says anything to you, though," Dumbledore said, eyeing Severus sharply. It was as if he could tell Severus was lying. The Slytherin couldn't understand how he did that. Damn the old man. Severus' gaze never wavered though. "Yes sir, I shall inform you if he does," he promised, walking out of the room quicker than was necessary. If he had stayed in the room for much longer, he was sure he would have cracked. Yes, damn that old man indeed.

OoOoO

Harry, meanwhile, was researching a couple of potions. Harry had figured that, since he was in another time, the syllabus would be different for his Potions class, so he had decided to research some potions on the side, so he would not be completely lost if he returned to the future in the middle of the school year. The first one was veritaserum, the truth potion. The second potion was a lot harder to research. While he was staying at the Dursley's he had taken a trip to Diagon Alley and bought some books about wolfsbane potion. He was researching it to see if, with a few modifications, it could be a permanent cure for lycanthropy. Unfortunately, the books had been in his trunk, along with his other possessions. Now, Harry had thought that he'd be able to just buy some new books… until he realised that the wolfsbane potion had not existed in 1977, therefore there were no books on it.

So Harry had set himself the tedious task of remembering the recipe. Lupin had been right when he had said that not many wizards were up to making the potion, it was extremely difficult to even attempt, let alone master the brewing of. Over the past week or so he had been experimenting with different formulas, but each time something went wrong and it was back to the drawing board. During one of the tries, he ended up with purple hands and a melted cauldron. He'd had a hard time explaining to Severus how that had come about, and had since been much more careful to avoid accidents like that one. Especially after the embarrassment of having to make up an excuse for his skin condition when he went to get it fixed in the hospital wing.

Harry sighed listlessly, picking up his quill to underline an important passage in his textbook. He paused when he heard the door slam, though. Severus had just entered the common room and seemed to be extremely tense. The taller Slytherin slumped into the chair next to Harry without a word and let his head fall down with a thump.

"Bad meeting?" Harry asked lightly, trying to figure out if Severus was up to talking. Severus looked up.

"The worst. Do you know how hard it is to lie to the headmaster?"

"Yes, but why did you have to lie?" Harry asked curiously, glad for the excuse to close his books, and turned to face his house mate.

"He wanted to know if you had said anything to me. He knows something is up, but I couldn't just say to him 'Oh, yes professor Dumbledore! Alex's real name is Harry and he comes from the future! Can I have some more tea?"

Harry looked around nervously and shushed Severus, who tended to get a bit hysterical and loud when he was stressed.

"So what did you tell him?" the former Gryffindor inquired once Severus had settled down a bit.

"That you hadn't said anything," Severus mumbled, his head back on the desk in front of him.

"I'm sorry you had to lie Severus. I wish you didn't have to keep this secret for me."

"It's not your fault you were sent here," Severus replied sharply. Harry reeled back a bit, stung. Did Severus not want him here?

Snape peered up through curtains of black hair and seeing the look on Harry's face he hastily added that he was glad. Harry seemed to cheer at that.

"You want a massage?" he offered.

Severus raised an eyebrow.

"A friend taught me how," he explained. "It's supposed to be really soothing. I always give one to my friend Hermione after an exam. It helps her."

Severus just stared. Harry waited for a response, but soon got frustrated.

'Well? Are you going to sit there staring at me like a madman all day?"

"No, no," Severus said. "I'd like a massage."

How cliché is this? Harry asked himself as moved around to stand behind Severus. Truthfully, Harry hadn't really been concerned that Severus was stressed, he had offered as an excuse to touch the other teen. Harry's crush on Severus had grown a rather large amount since their almost kiss during the tutoring session. God, I am so pathetic! Next thing I know we'll be kissing again. Well…not again. It would be the first real kiss. Merlin how I want to kiss him. Why does he have to be so sexy? He's my potions teacher for goodness sake! Argh, why must it be so complicated?! Even if he wasn't my teacher in the future, it wouldn't matter because he doesn't feel that way about me! The way he acted after the potions incident is proof enough of that. Oh, how do I get myself into these messes?!

Harry's hands worked their magic over Severus' back, and he felt deliciously pervy as he worked the knots out of the muscles of his future teacher. He almost wished that Severus would make any sort of noise, so that he knew he was doing a good job, and idly wondered what the other boy was thinking about just then.

Where did he learn to do that? Severus inwardly moaned at the incredible massage Harry was giving him. It also helped that Severus knew that it was Harry behind him. Oh…Harry behind me. Stop it! Bad thoughts! Bad bad bad thoughts! Severus sighed. All this sexual tension cannot be good for my health! He would have to take a very cold shower when Harry was done…

OoOoO

23rd February 1998 6pm

"What do you think Harry's doing right now?" Hermione asked Ron as they walked down to dinner together.

"Dunno…what d'you reckon?"

"Having dinner?"

"Probably."

OoOoO

As Ron and Hermione were walking down to dinner, one Severus Snape was silently fuming. His list of "reasons why I hate Harry Potter" was not going well at all. Despite his knowing of the "time travel incident", Severus was going through a rather large period of denial. He looked down at his list.

Reasons Why I, Severus Snape, Hate Harry Potter

1.- He went in my pensieve, but I really shouldn't have left it out…

2.- He's bad at potions, but I'm biased

3.- He's a troublemaker but trouble finds him normally

4.- He's bad at occlumency but he may have been better if I had taught him well

5.- He's Harry Potter. Oh God.

6.- He's twenty years younger than me. But they say age is just a number...

I'm doomed. Severus moaned to himself. Despite nearly twenty years age difference, their respective backgrounds, and the complete inappropriateness of the whole damn situation, Severus Snape, pernicious bastard, former Death Eater and all-round arsehole was in, God, in love with Potter, Boy Wizard Extraordinaire.

Fuck it all.

OoOoO

24th February 1998 12pm

"I miss Harry," Ron complained, leaning back in his chair.

"Do you really miss Harry or do you just not want to study?" Hermione teased, setting down her book. The two were in the library, studying hard for NEWTs, even though, as Ron had been complaining, they were to be held months away.

"Bit of both," the red haired teen admitted.

"I miss him too, but at least we know he's safe." Ron snorted.

"Yeah, safe with Snape."

"Ron, I will not go through this with you again. I thought you were going to try and ignore it until Harry comes back," Hermione scolded.

"When is he coming back? It's past Christmas already. I haven't gone this long without seeing him since I've known him."

"I understand Ron, but I'm sure he'll come back when he can."

"But what if he doesn't? What if he stays in the past forever?" Ron questioned, becoming slightly panicked.

"Then he'd change the future. And you know Harry, he wouldn't do that."

"Mmmhmm."

"Ron," Hermione warned.

"I know he wouldn't. It's just…that picture," Ron muttered.

"Which picture?" Hermione was puzzled.

"The one Remus gave Snape. The one of him and Harry."

"What about it?"

"He looked happy. I've never seen him that happy. So it makes sense that if he was happier then than he was here, then he'd try and stay," Ron said thoughtfully.

"Ron, if there's one thing I know about Harry it's that he'd never put his happiness ahead of the fate of the world," Hermione stated firmly.

Ron nodded, not wanting an argument although he was not entirely convinced.

OoOoO

27th February 1978

"So what aspect would you like to start on first?" Harry queried, staring at Severus.

"Hmm…I don't know. I guess defensive spells like blocks and stuff. I know the incantations, but my spells never seem to work as well."

Harry nodded. They were in the Slytherin common room, and everyone was at dinner. Harry had decided that it was the best time to begin Severus' defense against the dark arts classes. "Well," he began, "I think you should show me one or two of your spells, because I need to see what you're doing wrong. I'll send a couple of simple hexes at you, and you block them." Severus nodded in understanding and they both stood up, clearing a space. Harry worked out that he would start with a tickling hex. He said the incantation and Severus threw up a block. The shield around him held for a couple of seconds, but soon enough it broke and Severus was lying on the floor in fits of laughter. Harry just watched Severus laugh for a bit, it was a truly nice sight, he didn't laugh often. He soon took pity on the teen though, and released the hex. Severus immediately stopped laughing and stood up again, rather embarrassed.

"Why didn't you take it off me straight away?" he asked, annoyed.

Harry shrugged. "I never see you laugh, it's nice."

Severus looked shocked but he could not ponder the comment for long though, because Harry had just thrown a jelly legs jinx at him. Once again, his barrier broke and he was on the floor, this time because his legs could not hold him.

"How you ever managed to pass defense is beyond me." Harry shook his head. Severus looked embarrassed again.

"I'm good at the written."

"Now why doesn't that surprise me?" Harry helped Severus off the floor, taking the jinx off him.

"So can you help me?" Severus asked as he brushed his robes off.

"Of course I can. First things first, you're picking the wrong shields for the hex."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you're using complicated reflectors for simple hexes. For something like I just did, you only need a simple deflector charm, but you used a full shield, which you only need for something extreme like "Cruciatus". Do you understand?"

"Yes, I think so. Can you teach me which spells to use?"

"Yeah, I can." He stooped down and plucked a book from his bag. "Homework for tonight," he answered the question on his companions face. "Read chapters 1 through 3."

"What?! I didn't give you any homework."

"Yes, but you suck at defense even worse than I suck at potions," Harry replied cheekily. Severus glared at him in response.

"I'm going to the kitchens. Coming?"

"No. I have reading to do," Severus spoke angrily.

"As your teacher I can let you have a study break to come keep me company."

"Study break? I haven't even started yet." Snape raised an eyebrow. Harry shrugged in response.

"Your choice. I heard rumours that the house elves have shepherds pie though," Harry tempted, knowing that that was Severus' favourite meal. Sure enough, Harry could see Severus' composure break.

"Fine. But if you want me to read this book you had better be quiet after dinner."

Harry nodded innocently.

It turned out that the house elves did have shepherds pie, which seemed to cheer Severus up a bit. Both of them decided to read when they got back. Severus with his defense and Harry with his potions. They decided to go to bed early that night because they were both tired, but both Severus and Harry ended up staying awake for hours, just thinking…mainly about each other.

OoOoO

9th March 1978, 5:32am

Severus Snape woke up in a horrid mood.

"Ugh. It's too early." He complained to a rather annoyed Harry Potter.

"I am aware of the earliness. Now stop complaining and tell me which shield you'd use for a Stupefy curse." Harry snapped. He was, although he loathed admitting it, rather grumpy in the mornings. But unfortunately, early morning was the only time Severus and Harry could find to practice defense. Their teachers, despite stressing the need to relax around the time of the NEWTs, had begun piling work on their students. Harry had thought OWLs were stressful, but now he would have given anything to go back to OWLs.

Severus was slowly making progress on his defense, but Harry still found it incredibly stressful to teach the other seventeen year old. Apparently, Severus found it amusing to annoy him. Luckily for Harry, though, Severus was far too tired to do anything that morning.

"Erm…Reflector." Severus muttered sleepily, opening on eye only.

"Correct. Now, tell me the wand movement for that curse and the incantation."

"No wand movement needed, as it's a spell which doesn't need much thinking about. Incantation is 'flecto'." Snape, still with one eye closed, recited.

"Excellent. I think we're finally making some progress. Go ahead and get some sleep before we have to go to class." Harry said, softening a bit. Both made to stand up from their chairs opposite each other simultaneously. The result was that they ended up standing inches away from each other.

Both were thinking about the same thing. Bloody hell, not again.

It was Severus who moved forward first. Taking his lead, Harry, who was slightly shorter, moved in. Now there were only centimeters away from each other. And then suddenly they were kissing like there was no tomorrow.

At first, the kiss stayed closed-lipped, but soon enough, Severus' tongue swept over Harry's bottom lip, which, as though detached from Harry's body…or mind, whatever, left its space next to Harry's top lip and allowed Severus' tongue to enter. Harry moaned as he felt the velvety muscle sweep over his own tongue, and responded even more eagerly to the kiss. Unfortunately, as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. In order to keep breathing, Harry and Severus separated, both panting heavily. Again, they were having similar thoughts which contained a rather lot of swear words and a stray thought about what the other was thinking. For several minutes, neither of them spoke. It was Severus who broke the silence.

"Harry, I'm so sorry! I-"He was cut off by Harry's hand over his mouth. Severus resisted the temptation to lick Harry's fingers.

"Severus, in case you hadn't noticed, I was not trying to stop that kiss at all. In fact, if it was up to me, well, we'd still be kissing. If you can honestly say you regret it, I'll leave it alone, but otherwise…I think we should make that a regular thing." Harry said, rather nervous about Severus' reaction. He really had no idea what the other was thinking, but Harry had decided he needed to take a chance.

Severus peeled Harry's hand off of his mouth. Harry blushed as he saw the scrutinising look his companion was giving him.

"Are you kidding or was that serious?" Severus asked warily.

"Serious". Harry spoke.

"Then I regret nothing." Harry grinned and leaned forward to tentatively kiss Severus again, pulling away too soon, in Severus' opinion.  
"You were going to take a nap." Harry told him.

"Screw the nap. Unless…you want to come too?" Severus replied cheekily. Harry slapped him. "I'm not that easy." He said in mock anger.

Severus sighed. "Oh well, I shall have to go find some other obliging boy…perhaps a Ravenclaw…" Harry slapped him again.

"You shall to do no such thing."

"Possessive, are we?" Severus questioned.

"Very."

OoOoO

"We should probably talk, you know." Severus mused.

"About what?" Harry asked. The two were lying on Severus' bed, 5 minutes later.

"The fact that you come from the future and we just started a relationship…I think."

"Shhh!" Harry shushed him.

"Relax…I put a silencing charm on the drapes." Severus reassured Harry.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Hoping to get lucky, were we?"

"No…I just thought we might need a bit of privacy." Severus corrected.

"Stop trying to change the subject." He continued, scolding Harry.

"I really don't want to think about it."

"Well…there's no way around it, Harry. You're going to go back, and I want to know where that will leave us. I really like you…and I'd like to know what's going to happen in the future."

"God, you sound like a woman…" Harry began, in another attempt to change the subject. He stopped when he saw Severus' glare. "I'm sorry…I just don't want to think about what's going to happen. I'm having a hard enough time thinking about that fact that I'm going to have to leave you…"

"But I'll be in the future. I, however, will have to wait twenty years to even see you again." Severus spoke sadly.

"I hadn't thought of that." Harry admitted. He placed a soft kiss to Severus' lips. It was amazing how they had gone from being friends to being…together…so easily.

"Do you really have to leave?" Severus whined, breaking the kiss.

"Sometime…yes." Harry sighed dejectedly.

"When?" Severus questioned.

"I don't know. I guess as soon as I've found a way to do it. I don't even know how I got sent back, let alone how to get back." Harry complained.

"Well…I'll just have to make the most of the time I've got then…won't I?" Severus said, his voice gaining a certain amount of playfulness as he rolled on top of Harry and began to kiss him like there was no tomorrow again. The trouble was…for them, they didn't know if there was going to be a tomorrow.

OoOoO

By the time Harry and Severus finally got down to breakfast the Great Hall was practically empty. Harry and Severus had decided to keep their relationship quiet…at least for the moment. The other only person in the room apart from them was Remus Lupin. He looked tired and grey and Harry remembered that the full moon was coming up. He looked at Severus to see if his face showed any recognition. It did.

"Hey Remus." Harry brightly greeted the werewolf, dragging Severus along with him to the Gryffindor table. As he pulled the teen down in a seat next to him, Severus complained about sitting at the Gryffindor table.

"Oh shush you. There's nobody here except Remus, and he won't tell anybody, will you Remus?" Harry smiled as Lupin shook his head no.

"How are you today, my Gryffindor friend? You're looking rather tired." Harry commented.

"I am rather tired. Long night." He supplied in explanation.

Harry smiled sympathetically. Of course, he couldn't tell Remus he knew about the other teen's condition, that would be a hard one to explain.

The bizarre trio ate in silence for most of the meal, occasionally asking another to pass the butter or something, but they spent most of the meal in companionable silence.

Severus had a different class to Harry and Remus, so the three ended up splitting up, much to Severus' relief.

"What do you like about him?" Remus asked as he and Harry made their way to Divination, which Severus did not take. Harry and Remus only took it for the easy grade.

"What do you mean?" Harry questioned Remus.

"Well…why're you friends with him? He's mean, and sarcastic."

Harry thought about it. "I don't know really. I guess I just see something that no one else does." He shrugged.

"Like what?" Remus certainly was curious.

"Well…once you get used to his sarcasm…it's actually kind of funny. And he's nice, when he wants to be. Why?"

"I dunno…you two just seem to be so different."

"We are very different." Harry confirmed.

"Then why be friends with him?"

"I can't answer that." Harry said.

"Why?" Remus asked curiously.

"Because I don't know the answer myself." Harry replied

The two spent the rest of the journey to the north tower in silence, each contemplating the conversation. When they got to class they sat by Lily, and had a lot of fun laughing at the ridiculousness of their teacher. It seemed that Trelawney wasn't the only fraud around.

OoOoO

9th March 1998, 2pm

As if Severus' day hadn't been bad enough (whose stupid idea was it to put Gryffindor and Slytherin in one class?), he found an owl at lunch time requesting that he join Dumbledore in his office at quarter past two that afternoon. Trying not to think about how he had been summoned the same way twenty years ago, and what happened after that visit, Snape dragged himself off to Dumbledore's office at two, hoping to get the meeting over and done with. God, he hated this day.

The morning had started off badly when he had remembered that it had been twenty years since his and Harry's first kiss. It all seemed rather odd that it was happening exactly twenty years ago. Though why he wasn't used to the whole weirdness, considering there'd been a lot of it, was beyond him. Nothing ever was simple for him…

Speaking the password for the headmaster's office, Severus climbed up the concealed stairs and rapped on the door.

"Severus?" The calm voice he knew so well called out to him.

"It is me, Albus." Severus replied coldly, not at all happy to be where he currently was.

"Come in then, my boy." The voice called from inside the room.

"I've told you a million times before Albus, do not call me 'boy'." Severus grumbled as he walked in. It seemed as if, no matter how old he was, Albus would continue to insist on calling him a boy.

"Oh, Severus. You are not old yet." Albus told him.

"I would hardly call 38 'young'. Is there a reason for this visit or did you just call me up here so that you could torture me with lemon drops?" Severus asked sharply.

"Is there something the matter Severus? Something you're remembering?"

Damn that old man! He knew! How on earth he did that, Severus would never know.

"How did you know?" He asked, hoping to find out the secret.

"Ah…some older men find their memory deteriorates with time, others, like me, find that it only gets better." Dumbledore responded in his annoying calm voice. Knowing that that was all he was going to get out of the headmaster, Severus continued with their previous conversation.

"Yes, I am remembering something. Is there a point to this?"

"I just thought I would see if you needed to talk, my boy. I worry about you. You looked dreadful this morning." The headmaster told him gently, concern written on his face. Severus snorted.

"Thank you for pointing out my less-than-attractive appearance. Now, Albus, if you don't mind I am going to go and grade essays seeing as I don't have another class this afternoon." And without staying long enough to hear the headmaster's reply, Severus strode from the room, even more furious than he had been entering it. Damn the old man.

OoOoO

9th March 1978, 2pm

It wasn't until afternoon, when Severus and Harry both had a free period, that they got to be alone together. As soon as Harry entered their shared dormitory, he was pulled into a kiss. By the time they had finally pulled apart for air, Harry was in Severus' lap, and Severus had his hands under Harry's shirt. Harry grinned.

"I could most definitely get used to that greeting."

Severus chuckled. "I think I could just about bear it too."

"Oh please, you know you want me." Harry said cheekily.

"Aren't we cocky?" Severus noted.

"No, just ecstatically happy." Harry grinned again, placing his lips back onto Severus'.

OoOoO

Unfortunately for them, Severus and Harry had limited "make-out time" because they both had a class at two thirty.

"At least we have the class together." Harry pointed out, trying to see the bright side of things.

"Whoop de do." Severus replied dryly.

Harry kissed his cheek. "It's only one hour. Besides, we can be all alone tonight."

That seemed to cheer Severus up a bit. "I like that prospect."

"I thought you might."

They met up with Remus, Lily, James, Sirius, and to Harry's disgust, Peter in the entrance hall.

"You're going to ruin my reputation Ha-Alex…hanging out with all these Gryffindors." Severus complained into Harry's ear.

"Oh, stop being such a baby." Harry scolded.

"You two are so cute!" Lily observed.

"I don't do cute." Severus replied indignantly. Harry smacked him.

"See! You're so adorable!"

Severus muttered that there was no way in hell he was "adorable", which got him another whack from Harry. Harder this time.

"Ow! You big brute! You're going to hurt me some day!"

Harry, who was still two inches shorter than Severus, doubted that.

"Then stop pissing me off." He responded.

Lily "awed". Severus glared, and then rubbed his arm as Harry smacked him one more time. "Would you stop that?" Severus exclaimed.

"Stop being a git."

"Ha-" Severus stopped himself. "Alex, being a git is what I do!"

"What did you almost call him?" Sirius asked, glaring at Snape, as per usual. Harry knew the only reason Sirius and Peter put up with Snape was because Harry was there. James often complained about it, but Harry had the feeling that he really didn't mind Severus being there all that much.

"Nothing." Severus replied coolly.

Sirius looked at him curiously, but let it go. Soon enough they reached the transfiguration classroom. Harry and Severus took their seats at the Slytherin side of the room, and the others took their seats on the Gryffindor side. It made Harry feel a little bit home sick, seeing them sitting over there. He looked at his old chair. It had the same graffiti on it and everything. He sighed. He missed his friends.

"What's up?" Severus whispered once McGonagall had finished talking.

"Nothing. I just miss my friends a bit is all." Harry whispered back.

"Are you okay?" Severus asked, concerned.

"Yeah. It's fine. I just haven't been this long without seeing them since I met them." He sighed again.

"You must have all been pretty close."

"We were. We had fights and everything, over stupid things…but they're my best friends." He said dejectedly.

"I'm sure they're missing you too." Severus spoke comfortingly.

"Yeah…I suppose. Besides, I've got you!"

"Nice to know I'm second in line."

Harry grinned. "Oh no. My relationship with you is completely different."

"I should hope so. Especially after this afternoon." Severus replied cheekily. Harry smacked him again.

"Would you please stop doing that?!" He whined.

"No." Harry replied. "It's fun." He smiled and turned to his owl he was supposed to be turning into a chair.

"Now get to work."

OoOoO

9th March 1978, 3pm

"Alex! Wait up!" Said Slytherin turned around as he heard his name called. He saw Lily Evans running up behind him, completely out of breath.

"Hey Lily. What's up?" He asked.

"I wanted to talk to you, if that's okay." She said in between breaths.

"Yeah, that's fine. I was just going to head to the library anyway, so you're getting me out of doing homework!" He laughed at the disapproving look on her face.

"Hmm…okay. Um, where do you want to go?"

"I dunno. Courtyard okay?" Harry suggested.

"Actually, this is more of an indoors conversation. I don't think we want to be overheard." She replied awkwardly.

Harry frowned. "Okay. How about an empty classroom?"

"That sounds good." She nodded and the two set off for the old muggle studies classroom on the fourth floor.

"So what's going on?" Harry asked as they sat down.

"It's just…um, well, I wanted to talk about you and um…Severus."

Harry tensed. Did she know? "What about me and Severus?" He asked.

"Just, you both seem different today and I was wondering if something had, you know, happened." Harry raised an eyebrow.

"Define 'happened'." He said cautiously.

"You know…romantically." At this point, Lily was looking rather anxious.

"What?" Harry asked, disbelieving. How did she know?

"Well, I can tell these things. Let me know if I'm way off base, but you seemed more comfortable than usual, and you were whispering a lot."

"We're friends." Harry explained.

"I know you are, but there's just something different today." Lily shrugged.

"Well, there's nothing." Harry felt awful about lying to his mother, but he had to.

"Are you sure? Because if you're worried about how I would react…don't."

"It's not- it's just-" Harry cut himself off before he revealed anything.

"What, Alex? I swear I won't tell anyone!" Lily coaxed.

"I really shouldn't be telling you this, but yes…something did happen."

Lily did a little squeal and clapped. "I knew it! Details, please?"

Harry looked taken aback. "Details?" He queried.

"Yes. Who kissed who? I presume you did kiss?" Lily said excitedly.

"Yeah…we did." Harry felt rather odd about talking about this with his mother.

"So…" Lily asked, wanting more details.

"Um…I dunno. We just sort of…kissed at the same time." He shrugged.

"When?"

"This morning, before breakfast." He said awkwardly.

"Oh, I'm so happy for you two!" Lily exclaimed, pulling him into a hug.

Harry hugged back. "I can't believe you're taking this so well."

"Of course I'm taking it well! This is great! You two belong together!"

"You think?" Harry asked.

"Totally." Lily nodded.

"Thanks for being so supportive." Harry thanked her.

"No problem. Now, go back to your boyfriend, lover boy!" Lily teased.

Harry blushed. "Okay. Have a nice night." She winked at him.

"You have a nice night!"

Harry blushed again.

As Harry walked back to the Slytherin dorms to see Severus, he was marveling over how well his mother had taken the news. Granted, she was not aware it was her son they were talking about, but still. He just hoped that Severus wouldn't be mad that he had told after they had made a pact not to that morning.

"Hey." Severus greeted him as he entered the dorms.

"Hello." Harry replied, placing a kiss on Severus' cheek.

"That's it?" Severus asked. "We've been a couple for what, less than a day, and we've already begun the "kiss on the cheek" faze?"

Harry smirked and pulled Severus into a passionate kiss which, he was please to note as they pulled apart, had left the other slightly breathless. "Better?"

"Much. How come you're back so early? I thought you had homework?"

"Yeah, but I ran into Lily on the way." Harry explained, flopping down onto his bed.

"Oh yeah, what'd she want?"

"She knows." Harry stated.

"Knows what?" Severus asked, his brows furrowed.

"About us." Harry said shortly, waiting for the blow.

"You told her?" His…partner (Harry didn't think, considering he had met the older version of Severus, that it was appropriate to refer to him a "boyfriend". Severus would probably hate it) asked.

"No, she guessed."

"How?"

"Who knows?" Harry shrugged.

"Did you deny it?"

"Yeah, but she pushed. Are you mad?"

"No…I suppose not." Severus sighed reluctantly.

"Good." Harry grinned.

The two spent the rest of the night (save the time they went to dinner) lying on Severus' bed with the curtains closed and a silencing spell up, talking. For two people who spent so much time together, there was still so much they didn't know about each other. Harry told Severus basic things, that he didn't think would disrupt the functioning of time, but Severus told him some of his most intimate secrets, which Harry appreciated. That must have been hard. One thing was weighing on both of their minds, though. What would happen when Harry had to go back?

End Chapter 4


	5. Almost Here

**Title:** A Long Awaited Sentiment

**Author:** nahimana

**Disclaimer/Warnings/Rating: **See chapter 1.

**This Chapter- **Severus goes away, manages to get himself captured and Harry turns the walls green.

_You have been my life _

_And I never planned _

_Growing old without you _

_Shadows bleeding through the light _

_Where the love once shined so bright _

_Came without a reason _

_Don't let go on us tonight _

_Love's not always black and white _

_Haven't I always loved you?_

-_Almost Here, Brian McFadden ft Delta Goodrem_

Chapter 5- _Almost Here_

_March 17 1978, 8pm_

Harry ducked as yet another of his potions exploded. He had been trying, yet again, to make the wolfsbane potion but with no luck so far. He looked around the room as he slowly exited his hiding place. The walls were green. Great. At least it was an old, unused classroom he was working in. He grabbed his charms textbook out of his bag which was now also green, and began searching for the cleaning charm.

"A ha!" He exclaimed several minutes later as he found the desired charm.

"Scourgify!" He said, waving his wand at the ceiling, floors, walls and furniture. He sighed in relief as everything turned back to its original colour. Harry glanced at his watch. It was 8pm. _Oh shit!_ He thought. _Severus! I was supposed to meet him in the library! _Grabbing his bag, Harry tore out of the classroom, not noticing the piece of parchment containing his wolfsbane notes fall to the floor.

Severus was in a pretty bad mood by the time Harry finally showed up. The Boy-Who-Lived smiled tentatively as he sat down across from his partner.

"Sorry I'm late." He offered quietly.

Severus just glared at him.

"Oh, come on Sev! Like you've never been late!" Harry pleaded.

A black eyebrow raised and Harry slumped.

"This project is very important." Severus began, scolding him. "We have to develop a potion for Professor Timmons, and you know how strict he is." Harry snorted thinking about just how strict his companion was going to become, but then focused back on said partner."And don't call me 'Sev'," Snape added as an afterthought.

"I know Severus. I'm sorry. Forgive me?" Harry asked innocently. Meanwhile, he had taken his foot out of his shoe and was currently moving it up and down Severus' leg, moving it steadily higher. When Severus felt this, he jumped.

"Harry!" He whispered frantically, leaning forward so that his face was close to Harry's own. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Nothing." Harry smiled sweetly and pulled his potions book out of his bag.

"Come on Severus…get to work." He mock scolded.

"Bloody unfair bloody stupid Redfern." Severus groused under his breath.

"What was that Severus?" Harry asked politely but with an underlying tone of fierceness.

"Nothing." Severus grumbled back, opening his own book.

"Now…what sort of Potion do you want to make?"

"I don't know…I haven't really thought."

"I thought you liked Potions…"

"I do, I've just had a lot on my mind." Severus explained as he skimmed a paragraph about developing strength potions. "I was thinking something fairly simple." He continued. "Maybe just a simple healing potion."

"Mm…or we could try something a little more complicated." Harry grinned.

"You up for it?" He challenged, knowing there was no way Severus would back down.

"Bring it on." Severus grinned back. "What do you have in mind?"

"A potion to stop the effects of being a werewolf." Harry stated.

Severus' eyes widened. "Are you kidding?"

"No. We have the wolfsbane potion to work on…"

"Wolfs what?" Severus asked, confused.

Harry narrowed his eyes. So there definitely _wasn't _a wolfsbane potion in this time…interesting…

"Nothing. It doesn't matter. We'll do your healing potion" Harry said, turning back to his book.

"Oh no… you can't say something like that and then not tell me what you're talking about. What's the wolfsbane potion? Is it one of your weird future-things?"

"Umm…" Harry began awkwardly.

_When had it been invented? He could have sworn that he read that it was created in 1978…_

_Wait a minute._

_No._

_It couldn't be._

_Was he the one who created the wolfsbane potion?!_

"Alex?! Alex?!" Harry came out of his daze to find Severus waving a hand in front of his face. "Are you okay?" He asked. "You look pale."

"I…I'm fine." Harry stuttered nervously.

"Are you sure?" Severus asked again, raising an eyebrow.

"Mmhmm. Okay, so let's get onto this assignment! A healing potion, you said?"

Severus ignored Harry's change of subject for the moment and set about telling Harry his idea. He _would_ find out what Harry had been talking about before though. Somehow…

OoOoO

March 17 1998, 8:30pm

Severus was pacing, panicking, and every other thing starting with a "p". Since coming to terms with the fact that, because his former self had already snogged Harry, the boy would most definitely want to talk when he got back. It wasn't every day that people went back in time and formed a sexual relationship with their hated potions teachers. Anyway, because of this, he was now trying to work out what the hell would happen if Harry messed with anything. So many things had happened in their time together…what would happen if, by accident, Harry did something he wasn't supposed to and ended up changing the world? It was possible. After all, it was Harry Potter he was dealing with.

OoOoO

March 18 1998, 7am

"What can I do for you this time, Ms. Granger?" Severus asked tiredly, not having to look up. He knew who was at the door.

"I wanted to talk to you Professor." Hermione said tentatively.

"So, then, talk." Severus muttered absently, continuing in his search of his desk for a piece of parchment. Hermione looked a bit miffed that he wasn't paying attention to her, but really, Severus had to wonder what she was expecting with him. He sighed and turned his full attention to Granger.

"Miss Granger, sit down. You have five minutes in which to talk." He ordered.

Hermione nodded and sat down quickly. The two sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Miss Granger, I may be skilled in legilimency but I do not intend to use it on you. I shall, however, kick you out of my office if you don't start talking in the next 10 seconds." Severus was annoyed.

"Oh-sorry sir. Erm…I was just wondering…" She began.

"Yes…" Severus prompted impatiently.

"Well, I was wondering if you could tell me about Harry." She quickly stated.

"You've known Mr. Potter for as long as I have. You should know everything."

"I want to know what he's like when he's really happy." Hermione continued. "He's never been truly happy in our time and…from the photos, it looked like he was really happy with you and I wanted to know what he's like when he's happy like that. Is he funny or…" Hermione cut herself off when she realized how much she was babbling. She sheepishly smiled at her Professor, who gave her a calculating look back. "You want to know what Mr. Potter is like when he's really happy?" He clarified.

"Yes." Hermione nodded eagerly.

"Well…I'm not sure I know the answer to that. When he was…with me…he was very..." Severus paused, trying to think of the right word. "Relaxed" he finished. "Like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Of course, I had no idea about his ordeal with Voldemort." Hermione nodded.

"He did miss you both, you know." Severus said suddenly, surprising Hermione.

"What?" She asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"He missed you and Mr. Weasley. He thought I couldn't see him…but he always looked wistfully at the Gryffindor side of the room when we were in class, and at the Gryffindor table at meals." Severus sighed. "But he was happy. Very happy…as far as I could tell. He was quite open with me…I don't know why." He pondered, talking to his desk more than Hermione.

"Are you okay, sir?" She questioned.

"Yes, Miss Granger, I am perfectly fine. Talking about him makes me think about him." Severus replied.

Hermione sighed sympathetically. "This must be hard for you."

"Not as hard as it will be for Mr. Potter."

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked hurriedly.

"Let's just say that things didn't always go smoothly for Harry and myself." Hermione started at her professor's use of Harry's first name.

She nodded, understanding that he could not give too much away.

They sat in silence for another little while, each pondering what the other had said.

"Sir…why did you join the death eaters?" Hermione asked suddenly.

Severus raised an eyebrow calmly. "Why would you think that I would tell you that?" He questioned, still calm as a cucumber.

"I…I…I'm sorry professor. It was a stupid question. I'll just go now." Hermione apologised hurriedly and ran out of the room before Snape, as she thought he was about to, could hex her. In truth, Severus was not about to hex her. He was merely thinking about his choice to become a death eater, and what had caused it.

_//Flashback//_

"_I saw you saying good-bye to him." Severus whirled around to find Lucius Malfoy coming up behind him._

"_What are you talking about?" He asked the blonde haired Slytherin._

"_Redfern. I saw you saying good-bye to him. And I heard." Lucius repeated._

"_What do you want, Malfoy?" Severus asked roughly._

"_Nothing, my dear Severus, nothing at all. Except you, of course."_

_Severus narrowed his eyes. "Bugger off Malfoy. I thought I made myself clear the day at the lake. Alex will always be the one for me."_

"_Ah…but will you always be the one for dear Redfern?" Lucius asked snidely._

"_What do you mean?" Severus questioned._

"_I mean, what if Redfern doesn't want you in his time? You'll be twenty years older than him. Don't tell me you hadn't thought of that?"_

_Severus, of course, had thought about that. A great deal._

"_That's ridiculous. __**Alex **__will want me." Severus glared._

"_If you say so." Lucius said unbelievingly._

"_I do say so, so fuck off Malfoy." Severus replied gruffly._

_Lucius turned to go, but then turned back around again. "Just remember, my dear Severus," he whispered into Snape's ear, "that if you stay with me, I can give you more than what Redfern can. Power, passion... And you don't have to wait twenty years." Severus shivered, but showed no other signs of being effected by Lucius' words. _

"_I said, fuck off Malfoy." He growled, turning away._

_Lucius grinned, he knew he had gotten to Severus. Big time._

_//End Flashback//_

Severus sighed and buried his face in his arms. He was so screwed. When Harry came back, he would want to know why Severus had joined the death eaters. He would hate him even more than he already did. All of Severus' insecurities came flooding back, and all Severus could do to keep from drowning was to surround himself in the hope that, when Harry came back, he would just continue like normal. It was all he could wish for.

OoOoO

18th March 1978, 8am

Harry yawned. "I am so tired." He complained, turning to Severus.

"Stop whining. You were the one who started it last night."

"I didn't know that playing a little game of footsie would make you want to snog until the early hours of the morning!" He defended himself.

"Well…you shouldn't have started it, regardless." Severus scolded.

Harry rolled his eyes and reached over to grab Severus' hand. "I know." He began, "I've been a very bad boy." He continued cheekily. Severus growled.

"You're pure evil." He told Harry, before pulling the other teen from his seat in the library where they were, as usual, studying, and dragged him out of said library and down to and unused corridor. He pulled the shorter boy into a rough kiss.

When he pulled away Harry was panting. "Bloody hell." He muttered, dazed.

Severus grinned and started snogging Harry all over again. Harry responded eagerly, twining his own tongue with Severus' and running his hands up and down the other boy's torso. Severus groaned and pushed Harry up against a wall, using his hands to stop Harry's head being hurt against the rough stone. Their heated kiss was stopped, however, when they heard a throat being cleared. They turned to see Lucius Malfoy smiling evilly at them.

"Well, well, well…this is certainly interesting."

"Malfoy!" Harry exclaimed. "It's not what it looks like. I, um, was, um, practising for the…erm…resuscitation course!" Harry hurriedly explained, kicking himself when he realised that no, he was not in muggle school and he did not have a resuscitation course. Damn his passion-addled brain!

"Resusci- what?" Both Severus and Lucius asked.

Lucius smirked.

"So how long has it been going on?" He asked.

"Nothing's going on." Both Harry and Severus insisted.

"Bullshit. You two have kissed at least once. Nobody kisses like that on their first snog." Lucius shook his head while Harry and Severus looked at each other helplessly. "A couple days." They admitted sheepishly.

"This is very interesting." Lucius said to himself, walking off.

"Wait!" Harry called. Lucius turned. "Please don't tell anyone!" Harry pleaded with him.

"Oh I won't." Lucius smirked as both other Slytherins slumped in relief. "Yet."

Harry and Severus shared another worried look at Lucius' parting words before hurrying off to class. They were going to be late, and therefore had no time to think about Lucius for the moment.

OoOoO

18th March 1978, 3pm

"Redfern!" Harry heard his "name" being called and turned to find Lucius Malfoy heading towards him, an angry look on his face. Harry bit his lip.

"What Malfoy?" Harry replied fiercely.

"Oh…it's nothing." Lucius said. "I was just hoping we could…chat. In a classroom." Lucius' angry face disappeared and he smiled sweetly.

Harry looked at him calculatingly. "Fine. Where?"

Lucius just grabbed his arm and pulled him into a broom cupboard.

"I thought we were talking in a classroom." Harry stated.

"We were. But here is closer." Lucius explained.

"Fine. What do you want?" Harry asked as though he was bored.

"I want you to get your filthy little hands off of Severus." Lucius replied causally.

"What?!" Harry yelled.

"Do keep it down, Redfern. I wouldn't want to have to tie you up." Lucius scolded, pointing to the ropes on the bucket next to him. Harry gulped.

"Now, just listen carefully." Lucius began, standing up and grabbing Harry by the collar, pushing him against a wall, although not in the good way Severus had earlier. "I want you to stay away from Severus. He's mine. Do we understand each other?" Harry glared at him. "I'm not afraid of you." He stated.

"Oh, but you will be. I can do a lot better than just threatening you in a broom cupboard. I just thought it was fair to give you a warning first."

"Why? Aspiring to become a Gryffindor, are we?" Harry asked scathingly.

"No. I just think it would be harder to get Severus if I kill his boyfriend first." Malfoy explained. "But if said boyfriend were to back away slowly…nobody would be hurt." He continued.

"You don't scare me."

"I should." Lucius threatened.

"You have no idea who you're dealing with." Harry replied smugly.

"I do. I know your weaknesses. I'm very good at that. I can tell, just by looking at a person. You're afraid that everyone you love will abandon you, aren't you? And you're afraid that everyone will find out your secret."

"What secret?" Harry played dumb.

"You know. How you come from the future." Lucius said casually.

Harry looked at him sharply.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Oh, don't play games with me. I know. Don't worry, though. I won't tell anyone your little secret. Not yet, anyway." Lucius smirked. Harry tried to school the look on his face to not betray his worry.

"As I said before, Lucius, I'm not scared of you. Let me go or I'll make you."

Malfoy sniggered. "Have it your way, Redfern." He let go of Harry's collar and the teenager dropped to the floor. He looked up. "Why do you want Severus?"

"I like Severus. He's suited to me, not to you. He's dark, Alex. Always has been, always will be."

"He's not! His father wanted him to be but he said no!"

Lucius sniggered again. "Believe what you like, Redfern, but you can't change what's in your blood." Harry remembered something Dumbledore had told his a long time ago.

"But you can make choices. And Severus chose, so get over your little obsession with him and leave us alone." He said furiously and he stalked out of the room before Lucius could even begin to form a reply.

But as Harry stalked back to the common room he couldn't help thinking about what Lucius had said. He knew that, in the future, Severus would become a Death Eater. The question was what made him do it, and what made him change sides?

OoOoO

19th March 1978, 8pm

Harry had decided to completely ignore the fact that he knew what would happen in the future. All that mattered was that, eventually, Severus came back to the side of Light and he helped Harry to defeat Voldemort once and for all. Occasionally he would think about how the older Severus was doing. Of course, he would remember everything, but how on earth would he cope with it all? He must have known what would happen, so why did he treat Harry so horribly? You would think if someone cared about another as much as Severus swore he cared about Harry that you would talk to them.

Would you have believed him though? He asked himself. What if Severus had come up to him as an eleven year old and said "Hey, six years from now you're gonna go into the past and you and I are gonna snog. Wanna practice?" Harry snorted at the ridiculousness of that thought.

I think I have the answer to my question.

What about Ron and Hermione though? What on earth was he going to do? All he knew was that he wanted to be with Severus, older or younger. What would Ron say? Well, he probably would yell nonsense words for a few hours then follow it up by storming off and never speaking to Harry again. Hermione would probably tell him that it was against school rules to date a teacher but then eventually come around. Harry wasn't so worried about her.

And would Severus still want him? It would be very possible that Severus stopped feeling things for him. It was all so complicated.

Harry gave a large sighed and put down the book he had been reading. He had been looking up spell to try and find the spell that had made him come back in time. So far he had deduced that the student who cast the curse had said it wrong, meaning that either he said a completely different spell, which Harry wanted to believe, or that he had created an entirely new spell for which there was no counter. Bugger.

What he really needed to know was what the spell the boy had been trying to cast was. He was a second year, Harry was sure of it. So…that narrowed it down a bit…students only knew a few select hexes in second year. Harry grabbed his book on curses and circled the ones that second years would know. There were five.

_Bat bogey hex- batricus redium_

_Jelly legs jinx- jellius frictamy_

_Petrifying charm- petrificus totalis_

_Eat Slugs- Eat slugs_

_Monkey breath- theab yeknom_

Harry then grabbed his list of time travel related spells. None of them were even similar. Then he looked at the jelly-legs jinx. And suddenly it clicked. To be sure, he looked up the book. Sure enough, there it was.

_Sellius fritafy- A spell designed to send a person to the place they need to be the most, whether they know it or not. This spell was used a lot in the nineteenth century, but quickly died out when people began to frequently miss-pronounce it and end up using the jelly legs jinx. A potion exists to send the person back to their desired time. It was created when a number of people, instead of being sent to a different place, were sent to a different time. The recipe follows._

Harry could have jumped for joy. He had found a way to go back! He scanned the recipe. It seemed simple enough, but needed some things to be picked at certain times of the month, like aconite, which needed to be picked on the full moon, and if Harry recalled correctly, that was the 19th April. Bugger. And then the potion took another month to make. The realization of it all finally hit Harry. He was going home in roughly two months. _Two months. _This meant that Harry had two more months with Severus. _Oh god. Can I really leave him? __**Yes. **_A stern voice which sounded an awful lot like Hermione said._** You have to. You will see him in the future**__. But will he want me? _Harry pondered._ You just have to hope for the best._ Harry quickly shoved the book inside his bag when he stopped Severus coming up to the dorm and grabbed "To Kill a Mockingbird".

"Hey" Severus greeted. "How's the book going?"

"Good." Harry said, pulling Severus onto the bed with him. Despite Lucius' warning, he had continued to see Severus, albeit not so...openly. "I'm up to the part where the kids have just found out about the trial." He continued.

Severus shook his head. "Merlin, you're such a slow reader."

"I am not a slow reader!" Harry cried indignantly.

Severus chuckled. "Yeah you are. I read that book in, like, five minutes compared to you."

"I just like to savour a good book." Harry defended. Severus raised an eyebrow.

"Sure you do." Harry smacked him. "Hey!" He cried. "I though you were done with the whole let's-beat-up-Severus-thing!" Harry shrugged. "I felt like starting again."

Severus glared. "Meany." He sulked.

"Are you sulking?" Harry laughed.

"No." He pouted.

"Oh my goodness! You are!" Harry laughed harder than ever. Severus poked him. "You're mean to me."

Harry stopped. "I'm sorry." He mock apologised. "Did big bad Hawwy hurt wittle Severus?" He cooed. Severus glared at him again.

"Oh stop glaring, you bat!" Harry said, fully intending to enjoy the time he had left with Severus as much as possible.

"It's not my fault you're horrid."

"Aw. Did I hurt you? If you show me, I'll kiss it better."

"Well…" Severus suddenly looked mischievous. "That smack reached here." He said, pointing to his lips. Harry raised his eyebrows, unable to raise only one, which tended to piss him off. "Really?" He asked, playing along. Severus nodded.

"Well I'll just have to fix that, won't I?" He asked. Severus nodded again.

Harry grinned and leaned forward, pressing a light kiss to Severus' lips. He made to pull away, but Severus grabbed him by the back of the head to stop him from moving. Slick tongues twined around each other as the kiss became even more heated than the one they had shared in the hallway the previous day. Severus paused long enough to whisper something into Harry's ear, before going back to kiss him over and over.

"You still owe me from yesterday, brat."

Harry even ignored the brat comment, because he was so happy to be with Severus, and neither Lucius nor the prospect of leaving the other could stop him from feeling absolute happiness at that moment.

_March 23__rd__ 1978, 6pm_

"So, what're we doing?" Harry asked curiously as he was dragged down a corridor by an anxious Severus.

"You'll see. I've found something…I…you'll see." His companion mumbled and continued to pull a reluctant Harry along behind him.

"But Severus!" Harry whined. "I don't like not knowing stuff…"

Severus shot a silencing look at Harry over his shoulder and Harry promptly shut up. Sure, Severus was fairly nice normally, but piss him off and, well, pray for mercy.

When they finally reached their destination, the classroom the two used to practice Potions, Harry was rather disappointed. "This is it? I was hoping you were going to lead me to some secret room or something." Harry stopped that train of thought when he remembered the whole Chamber of Secrets fiasco.

"Ah, it's not the room itself; it's what's in the room." Severus was acting weird, and Harry didn't like it. A mysterious Severus was about as easy to crack as an ancient Egyptian code. In other words: hard.

"Come on Sev, what is it?" He tried whining again.

Severus shook his head. "Not yet. I have to wait a minute."

Harry raised his eyebrows but did nothing else except sit down.

They waited in silence for a few minutes before a loud buzzer sounded and Harry jumped up, wand raised. Severus snorted at Harry's jumpiness. Harry blushed.

"Shut up." He mumbled, as he watched Severus take something out of a cupboard. It was a potion vial.

"What on earth…" Harry trailed off, staring at Severus.

The potion seemed to be steaming and bubbling, but had no heat source.

"Okay, so…" Severus began his story. "I found this piece of paper about a week ago and it had this potions recipe on it, but it wasn't one I'd ever heard of before. So I looked it up, and all I found out was that most of the ingredients have something to do with werewolves. It was weird. Then I realised that combined with a few other select herbs, they could be used to change the effects of being a werewolf!" By now, Severus was in full babble-mode, as he tended to enter when talking about potions. Harry meanwhile, was staring at Severus in horror. He had found Harry's notes on wolfsbane! "So I kept working on it, and developing it, and here I have the first ever potion to help those who suffer lycanthropy!" Severus finished proudly, holding up the vial. Harry stayed silent.

"Harry?" Severus tentatively spoke. "Are you okay?"

Harry's mouth opened and closed for a few seconds, before he finally managed to form words. "Wha-What exactly does the potion do?" He asked, deciding to play dumb for the moment and figure out a plan later.

"Well, when the werewolf changes at full moon, instead of becoming dangerous, he is just a harmless wolf." Severus answered happily.

"And-how do you know it works?"

Severus gave an awkward cough at this, mumbling something about previous tests.

"Previous tests?" Harry raised eyebrows again.

"Yes. I've…um… been trying to do this for about a year now, and the recipe had an ingredient that I forgot about. I haven't tested this final one yet, but I'm sure it'll work. It's got to." He trailed off, looking hopeful.

"Well…I'm happy for you." Harry smiled hopelessly, not having a clue what to do.

"Great!" Severus seemed convinced.

Harry tuned out as Severus launched into another speech about the potion and instead tried to focus on a game plan. Severus could not find out that those were Harry's notes, but his hand writing would be very recognizable.

Too much would be given away if Severus knew about the potion in the future. He knew enough already! So it wasn't he who came up with the potion…it was Severus! Then why wasn't his name the one listed as the creator's? Did somebody steal the recipe from Severus, and claim it as their own? Harry had to find out. Unfortunately, he could not think about it any more because Severus was shaking him. "Wha-?" He asked, coming out of his stupor.

"You weren't listening to me." Severus pointed out angrily. "I make one of the most important discoveries in potions of this century and you don't listen to me?"

"Severus-" Harry began.

"No." Said Slytherin interrupted, covering Harry's mouth with his hand. "Don't even try and make excuses. You're always off in another world! And sometimes I think you'd rather be somewhere else, not here! With _someone_ else!" He yelled. Harry tried to tell him that, no, there wasn't somewhere else he'd rather be, but Severus wouldn't listen to him. Instead, the taller boy stormed off back to the dorms, taking his potion with him. Harry sighed. He had some grovelling to do.

OoOoO

24th March 1978, 8pm

Harry had left Severus alone for the whole day, giving the other time to cool off. By eight though, he was getting rather bored of the whole avoiding-Severus thing. He wanted him back. So it was with a large amount of determination that Harry braved entering the dormitories, where Severus was currently lying down, rereading his book of Edgar Allan Poe poetry.

"Hi." Harry greeted him tentatively, giving a tiny wave.

"Hello." Severus replied so coldly, Harry could almost feel the cold radiating off him in waves. He hated fighting.

"Mind if I sit?" Harry pushed on, gesturing to the end of Severus' bed.

"Whatever." Severus carried on reading his book. Harry sighed and sat down.

"I'm really sorry about yesterday." He apologised solemnly.

"Good for you." Harry sighed again. Boy that Slytherin could hold a grudge!

"Please forgive me. I'm miserable without you!" Harry pleaded.

"It's only been a day." Severus pointed out, never looking up from his book.

"Yes, but Severus…" Harry trailed off. "I'm going home soon." He said quietly.

This time, Severus looked up. 'What?"

"I found a potion that can send me back." He explained. "I'll be going in a month or two." He finished, looking down at his hands, which were shaking.

"You…you're going back...or, forward?" Severus asked in a shocked voice. Harry nodded.

"And I really want us to be alright again, before I leave." Harry continued.

"I…" Severus seemed to be speechless. "I knew this was coming, I guess."

"I don't want to leave." Harry told him, still shaking. "I don't want to leave you."

Severus looked at him in the eye for the first time in a day. "I'll miss you"

Harry laughed nervously. "I'm not going yet."

"Then I'd better make the best of the time I have." Severus realised, leaning forward to capture Harry's lips with his own. Harry eagerly responded to the kiss, allowing Severus to lean him down underneath the other teen. They continued kissing for a while, only stopping when Harry pulled apart from Severus for a second. "I really like making up with you." He informed Severus, slipping his hands under the other's shirt. Severus moaned as Harry gently tweaked his nipple, then grinned at the other teen. "Then we should probably argue more often." He muttered, before kissing Harry again passionately. He massaged the other's tongue with his own, and groaned when Harry grounded his half erect member into Severus'. Pulling away from Harry's mouth, Severus began to trail kisses down Harry neck, enjoying the moans coming from his aroused partner. He made his way down Harry's body, taking off his shirt and kissing a path down his stomach. When he reached Harry's lower half, he looked up questioningly. They had never gone this far before. Harry smiled gently and pulled Severus up so they were face to face.

"I…" He began. "I'm not ready to go…all the way. But, um, you could…" He trailed off, looking embarrassed.

"Give you a blow job?" Severus suggested. Harry blushed, but nodded. "And I'll reciprocate, of course." Harry hurriedly added. Severus grinned wickedly, a rare sight. "You'd better."

Harry laughed and quickly kissed Severus. "Keep going, then."

Severus mock glared at him before resuming his task.

Later, the two were lying in Severus' bed, curtains drawn and silencing spell up (Severus had hurriedly done these things when he realised that someone could walk in at any minute.)

"Are you as tired as I am?" Harry asked, turning his head to face Severus.

He was answered by a large yawn. Severus sheepishly covered his mouth and muttered "Sorry". Harry laughed.

"I really want to sleep now, but you do realize that you're going to have to tell me about this plan of yours to get home, don't you?" Severus yawned again.

Harry nodded sadly. "Yeah. You know that I don't want to go back, don't you?"

"Yes, I do." Severus began. "But I also know that you have to, or the whole cosmic balance will be thrown off." He added.

Harry smiled. "I'm glad you understand. It's just-"

"Harry. You don't have to explain to me. It's fine." Severus interrupted, pressing a finger over Harry's lips. Harry objected to this.

"It's not fine! Why did I have to come back and meet the perfect person for me, and then I have to go back? Why can't I just be normal?"

"Harry, I would love to deal with your emotional breakdown, but I really need sleep. I didn't sleep at all last night." Severus admitted, grabbing Harry's hand.

Harry smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I just, well, you'll understand - in time." He told Severus, thinking about the future Severus. The Severus next to him leaned over to gently kiss his lips before lying back down and closing his eyes.

Harry watched him sleep for a while, thinking again about future Severus. What on earth would he say when Harry came back? Would he know it was Harry who was Alex? He'd have to. Would he be mad? And would he still love Harry?

But the question that was most on Harry's mind as he slowly drifted off to sleep was: "Why did Severus ever become a Death Eater?"

OoOoO

24th March 1998, 11pm

It was late. Very late. Ron was practically asleep in his chair by the fire. Hermione poked him, and the two stood and made their way out of the common room. Almost everyone was in bed, as Ron and Hermione should have been. Instead, they were attempting to bring Harry back. Hermione had found a spell that was supposed to bring back a lost loved one. Well, Harry was lost, wasn't he? Hermione sighed. They were truly getting desperate, they missed Harry so much it hurt. And they knew deep down that Harry would come back eventually. After all, Snape had told them so. But he'd already been gone for so long, and they missed him more than anything. Others missed him too. The rest of the school had been informed that Harry had gone into hiding until they could be sure that all remaining Death Eaters had been captured.

They had to be careful, because the knowledge that Harry was in a different time could be very valuable to various death eaters trying to become the next dark lord.

So Ron and Hermione had taken it upon themselves to try and get Harry back. They knew it was quite dangerous, but they were Gryffindors, they were supposed to be brave. So, that was how Ron and Hermione ended up in an abandoned classroom down near the dungeons.

"Are you ready?" Hermione asked, turning to Ron, who nodded.

"Yes." He told her, taking a deep breath.

Hermione took a deep breath as well, grabbing her wand out of her pocket and a piece of paper they had written the spell incantation on.

"Together, on the count of three." She instructed the red head next to her.

"One, two, three. Kcab emoc Harry Potter!" They said together.

There was a large "bang" and then suddenly all the furniture in the room, along with both Gryffindors, began floating, before coming back to the ground with a large thud. Ron and Hermione were knocked unconscious.

OoOoO

24th March 1978, 11:30pm

Harry jerked awake as he heard a large bang. Next to him, Severus stirred but did not wake. He had just had the strangest dream. He was trying to get…_something_ back, but the spell he had used hadn't worked. Harry shrugged in the darkness. He could have sworn he had just been floating around a room. Oh well, he'd figure it out in the morning. Harry lay back down, wrapping an arm around Severus and sighing contentedly.

OoOoO

29th March 1998, 1pm

Ron moaned as he slowly opened his eyes. It was bright. Too bright. He looked around at his surroundings. He was in the hospital wing. Why was he there? He searched his memory for the reason, and groaned in horror when he remembered what he and Hermione had done. That wasn't good.

All his moaning and groaning had woken Hermione, who was in the bed next to him. She opened one eye blearily, and Ron watched as she too recalled the events of the other night. The bushy haired girl turned to look at Ron who smiled feebly.

"What have we done?" She asked him.

"I don't know, but I think we're about to find out." Ron told her, nodding to the door where Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape were standing. Dumbledore's eyes, as usual, were twinkling. Snape, however, did not look pleased. The two walked over to the patients, Snape scowling all the way.

"I see you are both awake." Dumbledore began. Severus snorted.

"Brilliant observation." He muttered darkly.

"Severus!" Dumbledore reprimanded. "What has gotten into you?" Severus glared at him. "Oh, nothing." He replied sarcastically. Dumbledore frowned, turning back to Ron and Hermione.

"How long have we been asleep Headmaster?" Hermione questioned.

"About four days." Dumbledore informed her.

Hermione nodded. "Who-who found us?" She asked him.

"I did." Severus told her from his place behind the older man.

There was a silence. "Are you going to tell us what on earth you both were doing, or are we going to play twenty questions?" Severus finally asked scathingly.

"We were trying to get Harry back." Hermione admitted quietly. Snape muttered something about "idiotic Gryffindors", but otherwise stayed silent.

"Now children, why would you do that?" Dumbledore asked them.

"We missed him." Ron put in, speaking for the first time since Dumbledore and Snape had arrived. Severus rolled his eyes.

"It was a very foolish thing to do." Dumbledore told them firmly.

"We know, professor. We're sorry." Hermione apologised.

"You are just lucky nobody else was hurt." The old man said.

Ron and Hermione nodded sheepishly.

"Very well. Get some rest. I expect you both to be in classes soon."

Dumbledore turned to leave, but Severus stopped him.

"What? No punishment? No detention? No points taken?" He asked.

"No, I think they have both learnt their lesson." Dumbledore told him.

Snape was furious. Without another word, he stormed out towards his quarters.

OoOoO

29th March 1978, 5pm

"So." Severus began as he watched Harry search his bedside table.

"So?" Harry asked, looking up and pulling out To Kill a Mockingbird.

"How far along are you on that?" Severus queried, nodding at the book.

"Chapter 10. What's up?" Harry answered quickly, sitting down next to Severus.

"Erm. Nothing. It's just…I was hoping you could tell me about this potion you were talking about." Severus asked hopefully.

"The one which will send me back?"

"Yeah." Severus nodded.

"Well…I'll show you the book." Harry told him, opening his bedside table again and pulling out an old potion-stained book. He handed it to Severus.

For a while they sat in silence. Harry read his book, while Severus looked at the potion book. Finally, Severus put his book down and turned to look at Harry.

"You really are going back." He stated.

"Yeah." Harry nodded sadly.

Severus sighed and put his head on Harry's shoulder.

"I don't want to." Harry repeated his words from the other night.

"I know." Severus told him.

"I'm going to miss you. "

"I'll miss you too." They both sighed. Harry closed his book.

"You're going to see me when you get back."

"Yeah, but I don't know how receptive you're going to be."

"What do you mean?" Severus asked, sitting up a bit more.

"Well…you're probably not going to be too thrilled at who I am." He told his companion.

"Bull." Severus denied it. "I like you…a lot. I don't care what your name is."

Harry chuckled. "Yeah. I'll remind you of that." He said bitterly.

Severus sighed, and moved Harry's face so that they were looking at each other in the eye. "Harry, I promise you. I won't judge who you are."

Harry smiled sadly. "Thanks Severus." He lightly kissed him on the lips.

"Now let me read my book!"

"Not just yet" Severus grabbed the book out of his hands.

"I just realised…you haven't told me what you think of my potion yet!"

"I think it's great!" Harry lied. "Um…how're you going to market it?" He asked.

"I'll have to talk to professor Dumbledore about that. I have no idea where to start!" Severus exclaimed.

Harry smiled slightly at Severus' excitement.

"I'm really happy for you." He said sincerely, kissing Severus again. "Really."

"I'm glad." Severus smiled, and kissed Harry passionately, for longer than before. Harry was panting when they broke apart. "You're really sexy when you're happy." He told Severus, who just grinned and kissed Harry again, slowly pulling the curtains shut, To Kill a Mockingbird lying forgotten on the floor.

1st April, 1978, 10am

"Remind me why we're here?" Harry asked James as the taller Gryffindor gestured for him to sit down on a comfy looking red and gold chair.

They were in the Gryffindor common room which, although slightly different, looked pretty much the same as it did in Harry's time.

"Well," James answered, "we wanted to talk to you, and this seemed like the best place to do it." Sirius and Remus, who were taking their own seats nodded.

Harry raised his eyebrows, "Why? What do you want to talk about? And how come this place is empty?" He asked suspiciously, looking around the silent room.

"I just used my powers as head boy." James told him rather arrogantly.

"We didn't think that you'd want to be over heard." Lupin explained.

Now Harry was really worried. What could be that important?

"What's up?" He finally asked, sick of waiting for them to talk.

"It's um…it's about you and Snape."

Harry blinked. That was not expected.

"Uh…what about us?" He questioned, pulling his feet in under him.

"We…ah, know about you two, you know…" Sirius trailed off, looking uncomfortable.

"Know that we're friends? How long did it take you to figure that out?"

Lupin scowled at Harry. "What Sirius means to say is-" he looked sharply at the black-haired boy as he said this- "is that we know about how you're _romantically involved_." Remus finished in a slight whisper.

"Oh." Harry said, looking around at all three of them. "And how did you find this out?"

"We saw you…uh…" James began.

"Kissing." Remus finished for him, looking even more uncomfortable.

"Right. And when did you see this?"

"About a week ago."

"Okay then." Harry said calmly, before leaping out of his chair and trying to make a run for it- anything would be better than discussing his and Snape's relationship with the three Gryffindors. Unfortunately, he had forgotten that his father had the same reflexes that he did. He was pushed back into his chair forcefully.

Harry scowled. "It's none of your business, really." He told them childishly.

"It's our business because we are your friends and we are concerned for your mental health." Sirius replied pompously.

"I'm fine." Harry mumbled, his head in his hands to hide his blushing face.

"You don't seem fine." Remus informed him. Harry rolled his eyes.

"You don't…understand. I'm fine. It's all fine. Can I go now?" He whined.

"No." James said firmly. "Listen, Alex. I understand what you're going through, but you have to see it from an outsider's point of view…Snape is, well, not very nice."

"James, no offence, but I think I might know him a tad better than you." Harry smirked.

James looked like he wanted to say 'I doubt it' but he held his tongue.

"Look, we're just concerned. And, well, you can come to us if you're ever in…trouble." Remus said quietly. Harry rolled his eyes again.

"You think I'm going to go to the dark side." He guessed. He could tell the answer by the awkward looks the three other teens exchanged.

"Look, I can't tell you why, but you should know I'm just about the least likely person to ever go onto the dark side." James looked puzzled. "Why the least likely?"

"I just told you I can't tell you." Harry said sharply, then frowned as he tried to make sense of his own sentence. He shook his head. "Just trust me on this."

The Gryffindors nodded. "Okay." They said together.

"Excellent."

OoOoO

Meanwhile, in Dumbledore's office…

"So you believe you may have found a cure to lycanthropy." Dumbledore began, and Severus could hear the doubt in his voice.

"Not a cure," he corrected, "something that might…lessen the effects. Make it less painful, and make the wolf tamer."

"I see. Well, I suppose you will need to test it then?" The old man asked.

Severus nodded. "Yes. Do you think you know how?"

"I believe there is a way. You might need to go abroad for a time though, for talk to some more experienced potions brewers. We wouldn't want the test subject to be hurt."

"Oh. Well, um…can I think about it? It's just…" Severus trailed off, looking awkward. He didn't want to go anywhere without talking with Harry first.

"I understand you may want to talk to Mr. Redfern first." Dumbledore said, his bright blue eyes twinkling more than ever. A slight flush spread across Snape's face. "Uh, well, um…how long would I be gone?"

"Around a week should be plenty of time." Dumbledore answered, ignoring the obvious change in topic.

"I think I can do that. I'll let you know later today."

"Excellent."

OoOoO

Harry was muttering distractedly to himself when he entered the dormitory he occupied with Severus. He hardly noticed that the other boy was sitting on his bed, a slight smile on his face. Even though Harry had changed the topic with James, Sirius and Remus, they continued to put in snide little comments about the relationship between him and Snape. It had annoyed Harry so much that he had ended up storming out angrily.

"Harry?" Severus asked as Harry continued to ignore him, sitting down on his bed a taking his shoes off.

"Oh, Severus, sorry. I didn't see you there…" The black-eyed teen raised an eyebrow but didn't push the matter.

"Dumbledore is sending me away to do more refining on the Wolfbane." He gushed out instead. Harry looked up from his shoes.

"For how long?" He asked curiously.

"Oh, about a week." Severus said, waving a hand, "but you good is it? My potion could actually be refined and sold!"

"Great." Harry smiled half-heartedly.

"What's the problem with you?" Snape asked, annoyed.

"Nothing. It's just…I'm not here for long, and now you're going off on this week long trip and…"

"What? It's no more than the amount of time you spend with those stupid Gryffindor friends of yours! I suppose that's who you were with just now?" Severus' voice was raising with every word he spoke. Harry stood up.

"Yes. They were hassling me about you and I told them to fuck off because they don't know you! But maybe they were right! Maybe you are just a stupid Slytherin jerk!"

"You're a Slytherin too!" Severus stood up too, now yelling quite loudly.

"Not in my time I wasn't! I was a Gryffindor! And I hated slimy Slytherins, just like you!" Harry yelled back. "You know what Snape?" He said, noting the horrified expression on the other's face and feeling a vindictive pleasure at the sight. "Just go! I don't really give a fuck!" And without waiting for a reply, Harry stormed out of the room, one shoe on, one shoe off.

OoOoO

1st April 1978, 1pm

"I'll go away." Snape told Dumbledore tersely as he sat across from the headmaster in his office.

"Very good, my dear boy. Something seems to be the matter though, are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Severus replied agitated.

Dumbledore nodded. "Alright then. I've spoken to a friend of mine who works in the business and he'll be happy to talk to you. You can leave tomorrow and be back in a week. What time is preferable?" Dumbledore asked kindly.

"The earlier the better." Severus informed him.

Dumbledore peered at him curiously, but said nothing.

"I shall make the arrangements."

"Good. Is that all headmaster?" Severus asked politely, but with a bit of a snap in his voice.

"That is all."

OoOoO

2nd April 1978, 7am

Harry hadn't been able to sleep, which had resulted in a quite unhealthy appearance. There were large bags under his eyes, his hair was greasy and his skin blotchy. He had wondered around the corridors of the school all night, if only to give his legs something to do. It was really very lucky that no teachers had come across him, considering he hadn't really done anything to hide himself. He walked aimlessly into the Great Hall for breakfast, even though he know he wouldn't want to eat anything. Back in his own time, people probably would have noticed his drawn, tired appearance, but thankfully he was anonymous in this time and no one looked twice at him. Severus wasn't there, Harry noticed as he flopped into an empty chair.

He felt utterly miserable. It was truly amazing that someone, who he hadn't even liked a year ago, could make such an impact on him now.

He slowly spooned porridge into his bowl, and stirred it over and over again. Looking up, Harry noticed Lucius Malfoy smirking at him. Harry glared back and went back to his stirring. Did Lucius know where Severus was? Or was the young Snape just in the kitchens eating breakfast to avoid him?

The teacher's table was quite calm as usual, but every now and then Harry saw Dumbledore glance at him, worry evident in his eyes. When Harry would catch him doing this he would smile politely and look down at his still-full bowl of porridge.

After about half an hour, Harry got rather sick of sitting there doing nothing, and he made his way out of the Great Hall. Maybe he could find Severus and tell him that he was sorry and it would all be alright again.

As he made his way down to the Slytherin dungeons he had the strange feeling he was being followed, but he ignored it and kept going.

But there was no Severus in the dorms. Or in the kitchens, the library or the grounds. Starting to get a bit worried, Harry made his way back to the dorms, maybe the other teen had left a note he had not seen? Harry knew he was going away, but he surely couldn't have meant this soon?

Before he could reach the dorms, however, he ran (literally) into Dumbledore.

"Oh, my, I'm sorry headmaster!" He said flustered as he picked himself off the ground.

"No worries, Mr. Redfern, you seem to be more hurt than I am. Are you looking for Mr. Snape by any chance?"

"Ah…yeah. D'you know where he is?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Yes, although I thought he would have told you…he's gone away for a week. He shall be back on Sunday."

"Oh. Okay. Thanks, professor."

OoOoO

Over the next week, instead of dwelling on the fact that Severus hadn't even owled to tell him what was going on, Harry decided to focus on the potion that would send him back. While he still couldn't get some of the ingredients, he could start part of it and do some more work towards it. He also began to re-focus on his studies, which he had neglected during his relationship with Severus. He studied a lot, hardly ever stopping reading. He ate healthy meals three times a day to keep his energy levels up, although he often had to force himself to continue eating after a few bites. He had just lost the will to enjoy eating.

He had noticed as the week went on the Lucius Malfoy seemed to be looking at his an awful lot with a superior smirk on his face. The blonde had probably guessed that he and Severus had had a fight. He was very good at reading people.

Harry pondered this as he made his way to Potions class, which was a painful reminder of Snape.

"Hello Redfern." Said a voice in his ear. Harry jumped. He had been so absorbed in his thoughts he hadn't noticed Lucius creep up beside him.

"Malfoy." He gritted out, walking quicker.

"Don't run away from me, Alex. I just want to talk." Malfoy said smoothly.

"Well, after what happened last time we "talked", I'm not exactly sure I want to talk to you." He replied firmly, making sure to stay with the crowd so he had witnesses if Lucius tried to hurt him. He may not have been as bad as his adult self, but seventeen year old Lucius was still rather frightening.

"We'll just talk here then." Lucius "suggested".

"What do you want?" Harry asked.

"Severus, among other things. Did you too break up?" Lucius asked, mock-concernedly.

"No." Harry said stubbornly. Well, they hadn't really. They'd just fought. They'd fought before and they'd do it again.

"That's not how it looks to me. Tell me, where has dear Severus gone?"

"Away." Harry answered shortly as they turned a corner.

"Come on Redfern, you can do better than that." Lucius teased.

"It's none of your business." Harry told his as they neared the door to the classroom.

"Fine. But just so you know, Redfern, I _will_ have him." The Malfoy said threateningly. Harry shrugged and tried to look unconcerned as Lucius left him to line up with his fellow students.

Sunday couldn't come soon enough.

OoOoO

However Sunday came and went with absolutely no sign of Severus. Dumbledore was, unusually, not present at dinner that night, so Harry supposed that Severus was with him. It wasn't as if Harry had expected to see the teen. He had just hoped to apologise to him, and hopefully make up.

Apologising would have to wait for tomorrow.

But tomorrow came and went as well. Dumbledore was not at breakfast, lunch or dinner and Harry started to get a bit anxious.

Tuesday and Wednesday, like their predecessors, came and went. Nobody but him seemed to notice. Now he was really getting worried. He tried talking to teachers, but they all ignored him.

Finally on Thursday he was called into Dumbledore's office. The old man was looking weary.

"Mr. Redfern," he began, his voice shaking slightly, "have you heard from Mr. Snape at all?"

Harry frowned. "No. Headmaster, what's going on? I've been trying to ask teachers but…." Harry trailed off as Dumbledore held up his hand to stop him speaking.

"Alex, I'm afraid Severus is missing."

End Chapter 5


	6. Wherever You Will Go

**Title:** A Long Awaited Sentiment

**Author:** nahimana

**Disclaimer/Warnings/Rating: **See chapter 1.

**This Chapter- **Harry gets mad, there's a black Pygmy Puff, and it's the happy ending that never was.

_If I could, then I would_

_I'll go wherever you will go_

_Way up high or down low, I'll go wherever you will go_

_And maybe, I'll find out_

_A way to make it back someday_

_To watch you, to guide you, through the darkest of your days_

_If a greater wave shall fall and fall upon us all_

_Well then I hope there's someone out there_

_who can bring me back to you_

_-Wherever You Will Go, The Calling_

Chapter 6- _Wherever You Will Go_

Harry Potter sighed, scratched his nose, and sighed again.

It had been three days since he'd found out Severus was missing.

Three days since he'd fainted, been re-woken, and torn out of Dumbledore's office in search of Severus.

Three days since he'd first sat in Severus' chair.

Three days since he'd refused to move until someone told him where Severus was.

The other Slytherins didn't really care much- either about Snape's disappearance or about Harry's refusal to live his life with him missing. Harry was grateful for this- in his time he was far too well-known for people to just stand back and let him sulk on his own. Ron would have been cracking jokes in the hope of cheering him up, and Hermione would be reading up books about wizarding depression or otherwise just making a general nuisance of herself. Harry sighed again, and folded his legs under him. It was late- he wasn't sure how late, but he gathered from the diminished state of the flames in the grand fireplace next to him that it was at least three o'clock in the morning. It didn't matter. He didn't plan on going to classes anyway. Or was it the weekend? Harry couldn't remember. It felt like a lifetime ago he'd been here, with Severus, and everything had been fine.

"Why did I have to start that stupid fight with him?" Harry grumbled to himself, thinking of his last conversation with the frustrating man, and sighing as he thought about how maybe, if they hadn't fought, Severus wouldn't have been distracted, wouldn't have been taken by whoever had taken him, and they'd both be sound asleep right now. Safe.

Of course, Harry had a fair idea about who'd taken him. And that only made the feeling of dread worsen in his stomach. Was now the time Severus had become a Death Eater in the past? Harry knew he'd done it sometime, he'd seen it in the future, but in this time, in the past, Harry had built up a little hope in his mind that somehow he might be able to stop him, make him see that Death Eaters were just a bunch of badly-dressed hypocrites. But if they had captured him- filled his mind with empty promises of great power, power that he knew, deep inside, Severus still wanted, then would he be able to resist? Would the man he knew return, or just some evil-minded being wearing Hogwarts robes?

Harry sighed again. He really needed to sleep. And eat. And shower too, he thought, scrunching up his nose and shaking his head. This wasn't doing either of them any good, sitting here and wallowing in his failure to protect yet another one of his loved ones.

For the first time in days, he stood up, stretched his legs, and made his way up to his dormitory, collapsing on the bed and becoming dead to the world in a matter of seconds.

When he woke up, for one glorious second, Harry didn't remember what had happened, why he was so hungry, or why he smelt like he hadn't showered in months.

Then, unfortunately it all came screaming back to him, and Harry was very tempted to smother himself with his own pillow. Reaching over to his bedside table, where he _hoped _he had thought to leave his wand, he startled when he felt something soft and furry. That hadn't been there last night, had it? Squinting his eyes open, he cast a glance around the room- everyone was gone- and looked at what had caught his interest. Sitting on the table, staring unblinkingly up at Harry, was a black, furry, live Pygmy Puff. Frowning, he grabbed it off the table and looked at it. A piece of paper fluttered to the floor and he leaned over to pick it up. His heart skipped a beat as he recognised the familiar scrawl. Severus.

_There's nothing you can do. Quit worrying, you insufferable Gryffindor._

Ah. A note from the future then. That didn't explain the Pygmy Puff, or how Snape had gotten the message to him. It had to have been powerful magic, to transport it to this time, straight to him. Then again, Harry thought, it had been a couple of second years which had gotten him here. Feeling slightly better, Harry grabbed his towel and entered the bathrooms for a much-needed shower.

Severus Snape frowned as he looked over his desk. There were books covering every square inch, and papers poking out from gaps in the collage of research texts. Somewhere, Snape knew there was a lesson plan, but he wasn't sure how to start looking. Deciding the best thing to do would just be to tidy up the whole desk, he waved his wand and watched as the papers and books began organising themselves into neat piles, and, in the case of some of the books, flying onto the bookshelves that lined the walls of his private study.

As the spell ended, he felt a rush of exhaustion overcoming him and he fought not to fall asleep right there. The large amount of magic he had used to send that blasted furry thing back to Harry had tired him immensely, and using magic for things he could do by hand probably wasn't a good idea so soon after. It had been Granger and Weasley's idea to send the Pygmy Puff, and he certainly hoped Harry didn't think it was his. The note, however, had been of his own doing. He remembered how frantic the boy- he really had to stop thinking of Harry as a boy- had been when he had returned, and somehow felt he needed to send some comfort to him, large amounts of magic or no.

Grumbling about how bloody sentimental he'd become, Snape picked up the lesson plan, laying neatly on the top of a well-ordered pile, grabbed a quill from his drawer and got to work.

Harry felt better than he had in days. He felt clean, well-rested, and best of all, he felt slightly comforted by his message from the future. His stomach grumbled, and Harry- thankful there was no one to hear it- set off up the stairs to the kitchen, his yet-to-be-named Pygmy Puff in hand.

It was odd, Harry thought, once he had a large roast beef sandwich in one hand and a large glass of pumpkin juice in the other, not having Dobby around, trying to get him to take more food back and admonishing him for not eating enough. It was like having a very small, very ugly mother, who had an extremely bad taste in clothing. The other house elves were polite, sure enough, but Harry felt they were rather cold, and disapproving. Like they didn't want him to be there. Which they probably didn't, Harry realised. He got out of there as soon as he had finished (with three double chocolate chip cookies stuffed in his pocket) and made his way back to the Common Room. He wasn't planning on going to classes today- but rather resting for the remainder of the day and starting again tomorrow. On his way back, however, he passed Lucius Malfoy for the first time since Severus' disappearance. He forced his eyes to look straight ahead, but couldn't help but notice the smug grin Malfoy Senior wore. It was obvious he knew where Severus was. Scowling, Harry sped up and didn't stop until he reached the Common Room, where he threw himself down on Snape's chair, all hopefulness gone.

It was another two days before Harry moved again. It was his Pygmy Puff that startled him into action- he'd almost forgotten about the little black furry creature. He stared at it for a while, before getting up determinedly and going up the the dorms. Older Snape's note was still there, lying on his bed in all it's Snape-like glory. He picked it up, and ran his index finger over the rushed writing. Allowing himself a tiny smile, he set both the Pygmy Puff and the note down on the bed and went into the bathroom for the first time in a couple of days and repeated the process of regeneration he had done two days earlier.

This time, Harry decided, he needed to find a name for the little Pygmy Puff. Severus seemed appropriate, but he thought that might be a little too corny for both young and elder's tastes. Deciding on Millie, Harry ran a gentle finger over the smooth fur and allowed himself another small smile.

The next day, Harry decided to face the rest of the school and go to classes. The first of the day was, unfortunately, Potions, and Harry was bombarded by both good and bad memories of Severus. He trudged on, though, to Care of Magical Creatures, which in this time, was still taught by Professor Kettleburn, who Harry remembered was Hagrid's predecessor. Harry smiled at him as they came nearer to the field reserved for the class, and received a sympathetic smile in return. Had Dumbledore told_ all_ the teachers of his and Snape's relationship?

A little miffed, Harry continued with the lesson in silence as they worked to dissect Billywigs, trying not the think that this lesson could end up making some profit for the Fizzing Whizbee company. It was a well known fact that ground billiywig tails were a prime ingredient in the sweet.

Last of the day was Astronomy, but that wasn't to happen until midnight, so Harry was free to catch up on his missed homework in the afternoon. Apparently, classes did not stop altogether, just because he was in a bit of a snit, as McGonnagal put it during her harsh words with him on his way to lunch. Harry scowled, but kept moving. He was really beginning to play the part of an evil Slytherin well, he thought. The first thing he noticed when entering the Great Hall was that Dumbledore was not there. Furrowing his eyebrows, he then noticed the second odd thing of the day- James Potter, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were sitting at the Slytherin table, waving him over.

Complying, Harry sat next to James, across from Remus and Sirius.

"What are you lot doing here?" He asked, noticing the evil looks they were getting from the other Slytherins, and the suspicious ones from the Gryffindors.

"Well," Remus answered for the group, "you only came back to the land of the living this morning-"

"And didn't even think to tell us where you'd been-" Sirius cut in.

"Right." Lupin looked flustered. "And we thought we'd come over and sit with you, seeing as you probably won't come and sit with us, being a Slytherin and all." He finished, whacking Sirius in the arm and grabbing a dinner roll at the same time, and dunking it in his stew. Sirius rubbed his arm and shoved his roll into his mouth, nodding. James just grinned at him.

"Sorry. I've just-"

"Is it a fight with The Git, mate?" Sirius asked, mouth still half full.

Harry was fiercely reminded of Ron.

"No. Well, yes. I don't suppose you've bothered to notice who else hasn't been with us the last few days?" Harry asked them, ladling stew into his own bowl.

Sirius and James looked around, and answered "no" in unison. Remus scowled at them, and whacked Sirius again.  
"Brute!" Sirius cried out, and Harry let a small laughed escape him.

"Where is Sna- Severus, Alex?" Remus questioned him, and Harry gave the part-werewolf an appreciative smile.

"Missing." He said simply. Sirius looked like he was trying not to smile. Harry rolled his eyes.

"Been missing for five days now. Dumbledore told me. I haven't really felt like doing much lately." Harry said with a forced smile. The other three looked like they didn't know what to say.

"I- we're sorry, Alex. We know how much he meant to you." Remus said gently, and Harry realised that they were all thinking Severus was dead.

"He's not dead." Harry said. "I know he's not. I can't tell you how, but I just know he's not."

The three Marauders exchanged doubtful glances.

"Alex- we live in dangerous times,-" His father began, but Harry cut him off, jumping out of his seat.

"Don't you dare talk to me about difficult times! I lost yo-" Harry cut himself off before he said something he regretted. "I lost my parents. I lost my godfather. I lost my friends. I lived in hell for ten years, not even knowing who I was. I had to do things I can't even think about anymore, because it hurts too much. So don't you dare think about lecturing me about _dangerous times_." By the end of it, Harry was startled at how cold his voice had become. He hadn't even thought about all those things in so long, and now they were all spilling to the surface. He'd defeated Voldemort so that he didn't have to deal with these things- the guilt, the missing people, the murder. But somehow, these problems seemed to find him. Taking a deep breath, Harry calmly walked out of the hall, clenching his hands into fists when he heard Sirius' mutter to James about his supposed unstableness.

Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger were not the most patient of people. That little fact was proved when they had first tried to bring their best friend back from 1978. It had been sheer desperation to have some form of contact with Harry that they had approached Severus Snape, widely regarded as the meanest, snarkiest teacher ever to come to Hogwarts, with the exemption of Professor Quirrel, but only because he had Voldemort sticking out the back of his head, and not because he had a more unpleasant manner. Snape, who they had expected to be either very hard to convince or to simply throw them out of his office, had been surprisingly easy to persuade, but Hermione suspected that the fact that their chosen Pygmy Puff was black helped a lot. They had wished to write notes to Harry themselves, but Snape had said that it would be hard enough to send his small note, let alone the scrolls of parchment Hermione and Ron were bound to write. Hermione reluctantly agreed with the man. In fact, Hermione had had a small inkling that Snape had already been planning to send something to Harry anyway. It gave her a small comfort, that Snape still cared so much about her best friend. He needed someone, snarky bastard or not.

Harry was furious. He wasn't quite sure why, but he knew he was completely, totally furious with his father. If he had stopped to think about it logically, he probably would have realised that instead of being angry with his father, he was angry about the way things were going in general, and James was a convenient target. Unfortunately, Harry Potter was not one to think about things logically while angry. This was why, as Harry entered the dormitory he had stormed into, he made note of Severus Snape's place on his bed several times before he actually stopped, turned around, and threw himself on the unsuspecting eighteen year old.

"Harry. You're suffocating me." Severus said, sounding decidedly out of breath as Harry clung to him.

"Harry. Harry. Redfern!" Snape barked loudly, and it sounded so much like when his older self used to bark out "Potter!", that it startled Harry into releasing his firm grip.

"You- you're back- how?" Harry stuttered, placing kisses over Snape's face, but stopping when he realised the other wasn't exactly pleased with this arrangement.

"Dumbledore found me. I- I missed you." Snape said, looking at the floor. Harry grinned. And then smacked him for good measure.

"Hey! What the fuck was that for?" Snape said angrily.

"You scared the shit out of me, Severus Snape. Don't you ever, _ever_ do that again." Sadly, as he said this, Harry remembered a certain occasion, during the war, when Harry and Snape had been working together, and Snape had almost died. Harry had been scared out of his mind then, but thankfully the man had recovered, good as new.

"I shall try not to." Snape said evenly. Harry smiled.

"Good." And for the first time in what felt like forever, they kissed.

"So. You want to tell me who captured you?" Harry asked casually a few hours later, when they lay in Harry's bed, curtains closed around them and a silencing spell raised to block out the sounds their dorm mates were making after dinner.

"Death Eaters." Snape said casually, and Harry scowled.

"Bastards." He said, and fought the urge to go out and murder every last one of them for the second time. To Harry's extreme relief, there had been no sign of the Dark Mark of Severus' left forearm. "What did they do to you?" He asked tentatively, dealing with Snape was going to be a tricky business for the next few days.

"Mainly tried to get me to be one of them. Or tell them anything I knew about Dumbledore. Didn't work. I don't know much." Harry rather suspected that Snape knew more than he was letting on, to him or the Death Eaters, but he didn't push it.

They lay in silence for the rest of the night, and fell asleep together.

"I missed you a lot, you know." It felt like he'd said it a hundred times, but Harry wasn't taking anything for granted anymore. Not with Severus. He'd taken to kissing him and finding excuses to touch him at random moments, if only to make sure the younger Snape was still there with him.

"I know. Being the guest of honour at the Death Eaters dinner party for a week wasn't exactly my idea of a picnic, you know."

Harry smiled sadly and nodded. He was trying not to think of the future, when it would really become complicated.

He cast a glance over at Lucius Malfoy, who was sitting a few seats away from them at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall, where they were eating dinner. Unfortunately, Severus hadn't seen the faces of any of the Death Eaters who had captured him, and thus had no way to prove Lucius was in fact a Death Eater, as Harry knew him to be. Scowling, Harry went back to pushing his vegetable curry around on his plate.

"You're too thin, you know." Severus whispered in his ear.

"Taking up the position of Mother Hen, are we Severus?" Harry shot back, casting a glance at the Gryffindor table where his real mother was sitting, casting sly glances at his father. Harry still hadn't talked to James since their little fight, and Harry wasn't quite sure whether he wanted to or not. His mother, on the other hand, had come up to Harry and Severus the first morning Snape was back and had surprised them all by giving them both a hug. It had felt comforting, to be in his mother's arms, if only for a split second. Snape had been completely awkward during the whole thing, but Harry had a suspicion he had liked feeling liked, just for that little while.

Harry glanced over at Severus and smiled. You never really appreciated just how much you cared for someone until they were taken away from you.

"So Professor Filpott says that with a little more development my potion should be ready to _shove down the rear end of a runespoor_." Severus said.

Harry nodded absently. "That's nice, Severus."

"You're not paying any attention to me, are you Harry?" Snape looked annoyed when Harry didn't answer. "Harry! Harry!" Harry was startled out of his reverie and looked up.

"Huh? Sorry? What did you say?"

"Never mind. Is there a problem?"

"No. Nothing at all. Just thinking. We pick the aconite on the nineteenth, right?"

"Yes. Why?"

"It's just getting closer, that's all."

"At least you get to go back to me, right? I'm stuck without you for twenty years, apparently." Snape looked as miffed as was possible for Severus Snape to look miffed.

"I know." Harry said, placing a hand over Severus' larger one. "There's just some things your future self and I need to sort out first."

End Chapter 12


	7. Everywhere

**Title:** A Long Awaited Sentiment

**Author:** nahimana

**Disclaimer/Warnings/Rating: **See chapter 1.

**This Chapter- **Snape is frustrated, Harry doesn't want to be involved, and there's no believable way to explain a sex book.

_'Cause you're everywhere to me _

_And when I close my eyes it's you I see _

_You're everything I know _

_That makes me believe _

_I'm not alone _

_-Everywhere, Michelle Branch_

Chapter 7**-** _Everywhere_

It was a rare situation that would make Severus Snape loose his composure completely. Normally, it had something to do with Harry Potter, who was a constant source of conflicting emotions for Severus, ranging from annoyance, to denial, to love, even. Of course, this particular emotion was one Snape had not yet admitted to himself, even. And, not surprisingly, frustration was an emotion Severus felt near-constantly around Harry. Especially when he had to teach Harry Potions.

_15th April, 1978, 4:15pm_

"Now add the mandrake root." Severus said with forced calm.

Harry picked up the chopping board the mandrake was resting on, and began to put it all in at once. Severus hurriedly stopped him.

"Not all at once." He ground out, thinking that he'd probably start smashing something if things continued in this vain. "One at a time." He finished, giving a large sigh and letting go of Harry's elbow.

Harry bit his lip and followed directions. "If you don't want to be teaching me this, I understand, you know." He raised his eyes to look at Severus seductively. "I'm sure there are a lot more pleasant things he could be doing."

Severus scowled. "As tempting as that sounds, unfortunately Potions is something you will find necessary to learn, and you may as well do it now." He said with as much patience as he could muster. It was Harry's turn to scowl as he mumbled something about "once a teacher, always a _sodding _teacher". Snape frowned and pretended he hadn't heard that.

Instead, he voiced something which had been nagging at his brain for a few days.

"What did you mean when you said future me and you had things to sort out?" Severus asked, making sure to keep a careful eye on Harry as he said it- this particular potion was liable to blow up if brewed with even the slightest mistake. Looking back, Snape realised it probably wasn't the best Potion to give Harry Born-To-Fuck-Up-Potions Redfern. Of course, Snape still didn't know Harry's real last name. He often wondered what it was, and if it was that of someone he went to school with now and...Snape broke off from this train of thought as Harry began speaking.

"Well, you and I...let's just say you're probably the last person in the world I was likely to fall for, and you for me." Harry said, giving a forced smile and adding the last piece of chopped mandrake root to the Potion and dusting his hands off.

"What next?" Harry asked cheerily, far too cheery for Snape's liking.

"Nothing. We wait for five minutes before adding anything else. Perfect time for you to tell me what you meant by that remark." He drawled, raising an eyebrow.

Harry gave him a guilty look. "I didn't mean it how you think I meant it." He said, and then looked confused by his own thought processes. Snape merely raised the other eyebrow to join its partner.

Harry continued, picking his words carefully. "It's just that, well, you and I aren't exactly the nicest to each other."

"Impossible." Snape interrupted. "If I had known it was you, I wouldn't have been anything _but_ nice to you." Realising this probably wasn't true, especially if Harry's annoying habits had actually_ diminished_ over the years, Snape corrected himself. "If not nice, then civil." Harry gave a small smile at this.

"While I'm beginning you think you may not have had a choice, especially towards the end, I think you harboured a certain resentment for me. Or rather, a younger me. The fact that I was so young and you were, well, not _old_, per say, but a lot older than me, irked you, I believe."

"Twenty years is not a huge age difference, especially in wizarding years." Snape said, frowning.

"No, but it seemed like it when I was eleven and you were thirty one." Harry said, giving an ironic smile. Snape looked faintly sick.

"Right." He said, determined not to think about it for much longer. "Time to add the pixie wings, I think."

Harry rolled his eyes, but grabbed the bottle from the storage cupboard.

The potion to send Harry back in time was both old and complex. Each of the ingredients needed to be picked at a certain time, and treated in the exact right way, before being placed in the potion in the exact right quantity. This was why, when asked if he wished to help, Harry and shaken his head adamantly and promptly buried his head in a book. Severus had started it several days prior to picking the aconite, something which Harry knew nothing about but was insistent about being involved in. It required entering the Forbidden Forrest, something Harry refused to let Severus do without company, in case of any Death Eater attacks. Things had been going well in the week since Severus' return, which made Harry very nervous. Something always happened just when life was going well.

Therefore it was a nervous Harry and a slightly disgruntled Severus who set off tot he Forbidden Forrest late at night on the 16th of April. Snape appreciated Harry's concern, but it was often grating, especially since Severus had spent much of his life looking after himself. Harry had mumbled something about it being a lot more dangerous in the Forrest, which Severus had scoffed at.

Everyone knew Hogwarts was the safest place on earth, why should the Forrest be any different?

_16th April, 1998, 11:23pm_

Harry jumped as a twig snapped, and Severus turned around, his agitation clear for anyone to see. "Must you do that, Harry?"

Harry looked sheepish. "Sorry. Bad experiences in here, that's all." Bad experiences indeed. Those "experiences" including meeting Voldemort for the first time he could remember, being attacked by a giant spider, almost getting killed by angry centaurs, and having to look after a giant. Then there was, of course, the final battle, which had ended Voldemort once and for all. It had been mere meters from this spot where Harry had cursed Voldemort for all eternity. Sighing unhappily, and wishing he was back in his bed, safe and warm, preferably with Severus next to him, Harry began walking again.

"It should be about here." Snape said suddenly, breaking the silence which had spanned for at least ten minutes. Harry nodded, and began sweeping his wand over the ground in the hopes of finding it quickly and getting back to the castle. Shuddering as the light went over when looked like the bones of a magical creature with at least four wings, Harry continued to be silent. It was best not to annoy Severus when he was in one of his moods.

Snape, meanwhile, was doing the same thing as Harry, several meters away. When Harry spotted something that matched the picture Severus had given to Harry before they set up, Harry began to pick several stems and place them carefully in the bag he had brought. The wind was howling in his ears, which were cold and probably quite red by now. He couldn't wait to be back in his warm bed, hopefully with Severus next to him.

"I've got some, Severus, we can go back now." Harry said as he stood up, but he received no reply over the wind. He looked over to where Severus had been, only to find Lucius Malfoy standing behind him, wand pointed directly at Harry and Severus in a head lock. Harry quickly pulled out his own wand and sent the first hex that came to mind.

Unfortunately, jelly legs jinx wasn't the best choice of curse in this situation. Lucius merely sent Harry a disgruntled scowl, but still had the semblance of balance needed to point his wand at Snape's throat. Harry was unwillingly reminded of a bad muggle action movie.

"You curse me again, Redfern, and I won't be casting a jelly legs." Harry glared at him, and tried to look defeated, but inside, he was smirking. Severus himself, albeit the older version of him, had already taught Harry all of the wandless magic he needed to know. While he thought quickly, and began to summon the magic he would need to be able to send Lucius to his arse, and give him exactly what he deserved without killing him, the older Malfoy was whispering in Snape's ear. Harry couldn't hear what he was saying exactly, but Snape seemed quite bored with the whole thing.

"You death eaters are all the same. Going on and on about the glory of it all. How many times must I tell you imbeciles that I have no plans to tie myself to a sycophant in the near future. Go make your sale elsewhere." He said scathingly. Harry could have laughed out loud at the look on Malfoy's face had the situation not been so serious. Finally, Harry sensed his opportunity to curse Malfoy and sent him flying into the air with a well-placed disarming curse, combined with a stinging hex. Forcing back thoughts about the fact that it had been Snape to teach him that combination, Harry quickly petrified Malfoy and helped Severus, who had fallen to the ground during the scuffle, up.

"Are you okay?" He asked, dusting off the taller boy's robes and smoothing his hair. Snape scowled. "I am quite fine, Harry. What I would like to know, however, is how you managed to pull of that rather spectacular piece of wandless magic when you have never given me any reason to believe you were adept at it in the past." He said, raising an eyebrow. Harry, beaming at the use of the word "spectacular", merely told him "you'll see", and left Snape to inspect what damage he had managed to inflict onto Malfoy senior. Snape stood in his spot for a moment, looking both confused and angry at being confused, before he went over to stand next to Harry.

"Maybe I could make it so he could never have children." Harry muttered to himself, looking the petrified Malfoy up and down. "I could certainly do without bloody Draco getting in my way constantly." He sighed, knowing he probably shouldn't be altering the future at all, and ignored Snape's renewed raised eyebrow as he placed Lucius in a bind and levitated him off the ground. The only light was that coming from Harry and Severus' fallen wands, but even in the dark Harry could see he had managed to give Lucius a rather spectacular cut next to his right eye and large bruise on his right forearm.

"As much as I'd like to leave him here, I suspect Dumbledore would appreciate it if we took him back to the castle." He told Snape resignedly. "Why do you suppose he attacked?" Harry asked, casting a glance over at Severus, who hadn't really said anything apart from "I'm fine" and to compliment Harry on his wandless magic skills.

"I suppose for the same reason they kidnapped me. To get me to join them. As I told Lucius, they're wasting their time." Harry fought off a grimace at the thought that they really weren't, but listened to Severus as he continued. "I have no desire to join the Death Eaters." He said, but it sounded to Harry as though he was trying to convince himself of that, not anyone else. But he forced these comments down.

"Of course not." He said instead.

They were greeted in the hospital wing by a distressed looking Poppy Pomfrey and a badly beaten up Gryffindor whose name neither of them knew. Over the years, Harry had certainly seen enough of the Hospital Wing to last a lifetime, no matter what time period he was in. Far too sterile for his tastes. Severus seemed to agree with him on this point, and appeared just as eager to leave the space as Harry was. They were sent straight to Dumbledore, of course, to give their story before Lucius awoke. This, however, took a great deal longer than Harry had expected it too, especially considering Harry and Severus had been out, after hours, in the Forbidden Forrest. Harry hadn't even thought they may have ended up with detention, but as it was, both he and Severus were sentenced to separate detentions with Filch. Harry thought it was a shame that he was going to be spending two nights a week for the rest of his time here, in a cramped room with Filch polishing silver. It wasn't as if he didn't have enough detention in his own time, but he only had a couple more months, at most, with Severus. Although, if Snape's feelings for him had continued twenty years into the future, as the younger Snape seemed to think they would, Harry could end up having a whole _different_ kind of detention. He smirked, but quickly realised that it probably wasn't an appropriate thought in the company of the Headmaster, and forced his features back into a slightly ashamed expression, which was likely to ease any further punishment.

And who said Harry wasn't devious enough to be a Slytherin?

_19th April 1978, 8:49pm_

"How was your detention?" This was Severus' greeting for him, three days later when Harry arrived from his first detention with Filch, the sun having finally retreated for the day and the moon shining bright. Of course, being in the dungeons, Harry couldn't see any of this.

"Much the same as yours, from what you told me." Harry replied, rubbing the ache in the back of his neck and flopping down on his bed, his head missing the pillow by several inches.

"Then I do pity you. Trust Dumbledore to give us detentions for defending ourselves against attack by a death eater." Snape scowled, marking a page in his book and folding his long legs underneath him so he was sitting cross-legged on his bed.

"We don't have any proof Lucius is a death eater- he doesn't have the mark yet. Besides, you heard what he said, Severus, there was no need for me to curse him with warts once he'd already been petrified. But it was _well_ worth it. I just wish he hadn't felt it necessary to punish you too." Harry sighed wearily, pulling his pillow further down so his head was resting squarely on it.

"Well, I wasn't about to let you take the fall." Snape said dismissively.

Harry smirked. "How very Gryffindor of you."

"Oh, shut up, Redfern." Severus told him irritably, placing his book on the table beside his bed.

Harry, suddenly more awake, propped himself up on his elbow and stared at Snape until the other teen, who was busying himself searching his drawers, looked at him.

"What, Harry? Has you brain finally committed suicide due to a lack of stimulation and rendered you incapable of speech?"

Harry, used to Severus' constant jabs and dismissing them as just part of Severus' personality, shrugged this off.

"Yeah. That's it. What're you looking for?" He asked curiously, as Severus went back to searching his drawers.

"Nothing- just another book I was reading." Snape told him, as various objects came flying out and landing in a messy heap behind him.

Harry got up, wincing as he felt a sharp pain in his lower back, and started rearranging the things to look neater. Harry spotted an inconspicuous little green book with no writing on the cover that he'd never seen before, and held it up.

"This what you're looking for?" Severus turned and his eyes widened slightly, seeing Harry hold the book.

"Yes, thank you," he said, reaching out to take the book, but Harry, suddenly curious, pulled it back to his chest.

"What's it about, then?" He grinned.

"Nothing that would interest you at all, now I thank you to give it back."

"Oh, not just yet I don't think. You seem quite worked up over this little book. What's in it?"

"Just potions. Nothing particularly astounding. And I was trying to find it because it happens to interest me. That, and it's an antique I did not wish to lose." Snape said, his face calm, but his voice betraying his irritation at Harry.

Harry started to hand it back, but thought better of it again. "How come I've never seen it before, if it's a potions book? You're supposed to be teaching me everything you know, after all." Severus started to speak, but Harry interrupted. "No, I reckon this little book contains something you don't want me to see, so it's going to take more than that to get it off me." He said, his lips forming a grin, while Severus' own lips scowled.

"Fine. Name your terms."

Harry's grin became wider, and Severus' scowl more pronounced.

'"How about...a snog?" Harry asked, damning himself for sounding so fucking hopeful.

"That, Mister Redfern," Severus said, plucking the book out of Harry's hands wrapping his arms around the shorter boy, "you do not have to negotiate for."

And the green book lay forgotten on the floor for quite some time.

_20th April,1998, 10:32am_

"And I expect to find the essays unpadded, with the correct length and _no_ using larger handwriting to make them longer." Severus called to his sixth year class' backs, and received only a few disgruntled moans in response.

He smirked and sat back on his desk, and grabbed his next lesson plan from a desk drawer. It was barely legible, and the only eyes who would have a hope of deciphering it were his own. In the little box marked "class", fifth year was scrawled and crossed out, to be replaced by "fourth year". Snape glanced at the date and froze as he noticed the little zero and the two that preceded it. The twentieth of April. He pushed back all thoughts of that day, and all that had occurred twenty years earlier, and instead busied himself with scribbling words over the parchment which he would later read back and not be able to make sense of.

_20th April, 1978, 6:13am_

Twenty years earlier, Harry Potter woke up in Severus Snape's bed, yawned, and buried his head further into the pillow. Snape stirred, but did not wake. Harry grinned as he looked at his sleeping form. Severus always looked so peaceful when he was asleep. Harry placed his arm across Severus' bare chest and felt himself drift back to sleep.

_7:24am_

Severus moaned as the candles in the dormitory were lit by some sick, cruel individual. Said individual turned out to be Harry.

"Redfern- what's with the lights?" He complained, turning his face into the pillow.

"You should be getting up. We've got class in...two hours."

"Therefore I can get one hour more sleep." Severus grumbled, and attempted to pull the curtains closed around his bed.

"Everyone in the dorm is already up." Harry told him.

"Everybody else has class earlier than I do. So bugger off." Severus heard Harry sigh, in what Severus hoped was defeat, and he listened in triumph as feet could be heard leaving the dormitory and the door was closed. Minutes later, though, the door was opened again and Severus cracked an eye open to see Harry again, this time carrying a book. His hopes of ignoring the other Slytherin were dashed as Harry climbed into bed next to him, without closing the curtains.

"What are you doing?" he croaked. "Anyone could walk in and see."

"Well, we're not exactly secret, are we?" Harry said dismissively.

"No, but I don't particularly want to display it to our dorm mates. I'd much rather keep you to myself." To accompany this statement, Snape placed his arm possessively around Harry, who smiled one of his little smiles.

"Have it your way, then." he said, and closed the curtain.

They didn't leave the bed for another hour.

_5pm_

"Well that was a complete waste of a day." Severus said as they entered the dormitory that afternoon. Harry was in complete agreement.

Instead of speaking, he flopped down on his bed, and pulled Severus with him. The dormitory was empty apart from them, which was the way Harry liked it. Although they had a few classes different, the key classes they had the same. Defence had been repetition of their last lesson, as had Potions. From what Severus had told him about his other classes, and from Harry's own experience, the teachers had had realised the futility of trying to teach the students anything before their week-long Easter break and had just decided to try and really make sure the material from the previous lesson had stuck.

"I would have much rathered stayed in bed all day." Severus told him, turning his head slightly so they were only inches apart.

"Mmm." Harry mumbled. "Yeah."

Severus leaned forward, closing the gap between them and pressing their lips together. Harry moaned as Snape's tongue moved against his own. Severus really had the whole kissing thing nailed.

Unfortunately, that didn't stop them needing to breathe. Snape's hand travelled leisurely up and down Harry's thigh and they were kissing again. Severus took the lead in the kiss, and rolled so that he was positioned above Harry. Harry's arms twined around Severus and Severus' mouth moved down so he was kissing his way down Harry's neck. Harry moaned again and turned his head to the side, realising two things at once: they had left the curtains open, and Snape's little green book was on his bedside table.

It was a hard fight to get his brain to cooperate with his voice, which was reluctant to ask Severus about the book, and in turn cause the kissing to stop.

"Ungh- Sev...oh my God, where did you learn that?...mmm...Severus. _Severus_. Severus, stop." Snape raised his head and Harry immediately regretted saying anything.

"Yes?" he sounded impatient.

"That...erm. That book. What is it?" Harry asked dazedly.

"You interrupted me to ask what my book is about. I told you Harry, it's about Potions." Harry might've believed him, had Severus' eyes met his when he said this.

"Potions my arse. What's it about, Snape? You can tell me."

Severus pursed his lips together. Harry wished he wouldn't: it wasn't a good look.

"You really wish to know?" Severus asked, and suddenly Harry wasn't so sure. He didn't say this to Severus, though.

"Of course I do." Severus shrugged resignedly, and got up from his position on top of Harry. Harry felt a sense of loss and stopped himself from sighing.

Severus grabbed the book, climbed back into bed, and shut the curtains around them. He wordlessly handed the book to Harry, who opened it and almost fainted with shock. Printed, in big gold letters, were the words, "FIRST TIME GAY SEX- EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW (AND SOME THINGS YOU DIDN'T)."

"Oh. My. God. It's a _sex_ book?"

Severus blushed slightly and tried to tug the book from Harry's grip, but Harry held on strongly and began flicking through the first couple of pages.

"You see, it's-" Severus began, but didn't appear to have thought up a second part to that sentence.

"Don't bother, Severus. There's no believable way to explain a sex book." He laughed, and reached over to pull Severus to him and placed his lips over the other's.

"So. Are you up for it, then?" Harry asked, trying to make himself sound casual. It didn't work.

"What?" Severus asked, and Harry didn't think he could sound more shocked if he tried.

"Y'know. Sex. You and me." Harry told him, and couldn't help grinning.

"Are you taking the piss, Redfern?"

Harry grinned even more. "No."

And instead of proving it to Severus with words, he tried actions. The green book slid to the floor, and Harry found he didn't miss it.

He was, after all, a more hands-on learner.

_20th April 1998, 5:30pm_

Hermione Granger was having issues. Her Herbology essay was due the next day, and she still didn't have the last inch written. Of course, it could've been worse. She could've been Ron, who hadn't even started on the damned thing, and was busy poring over Snape's latest essay instead.

"Y'know, considering he technically _dated_ our _best friend_, you would think he could leave off a bit with the homework, wouldn't you?" Ron asked her, scratching his nose with a quill and staring off into the fire, as if hoping a completed essay would jump out at him if he wished hard enough.

"Well, then, he wouldn't be a very good teacher, would he?" Hermione said sternly, penning the first sentence to her conclusion.

Ron shrugged, and looked away from the fire.

"I don't think anyone's ever accused Snape of being a good teacher."

"He's a very effective teacher when he wants to be, Ron, he just doesn't like the students so much."

"That much is glaringly obvious," Ron sneered, and passed his essay wordlessly to Hermione for checking. She rolled her eyes, and set it aside until she had finished her own.

"I still have trouble figuring out what the hell Harry sees in him." Ron said in a whisper, careful of any other students who may have started listening in.

"Well, I couldn't tell you, Ron," Hermione said, summing up her argument on the effects of diluted Boobertuber pus compared to Flipper Pods for treating common skin problems.

"He's just a greasy, horrible, git." Ron said furiously, each insult punctured by a sharp jab of his quill on the parchment he had taken up for Sprout's essay.

"Hmm." Hermione said noncommittally. "But, surely, Ron, you must realise that Harry wouldn't have been with him if he was like that in the past?"

"Yeah, yeah. It still doesn't make sense."

Hermione pulled Ron's essay towards her and they didn't speak about the issue for the rest of the night.

_20th April 1978, 9pm_

Harry couldn't get the ridiculously stupid grin off his face all through dinner (which they had been so late for they had gained the attention of the entire Slytherin table). Snape, of course, was far more composed about his emotions, but if the kiss he had given Harry after they had...well, Harry could be almost certain that Snape was as happy as he was. And Snape had the added advantage of not having to wince every time he sat down.

_22nd April 1978, 10 am_

"I love holidays." Harry said happily, snuggling his side closer to Snape. The Common Room was empty, Harry and Severus being the only ones to stay for the Easter holidays.

"Hmm. Yes, I suppose it is nice to have the place to ourselves."

"You suppose?" Harry asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Problem?"

"No." Harry shook his head.

"I'll have to go back soon, you know." Harry said.

"Harry...don't. I don't want to talk about it. I just...let's just worry about it when we have to." Severus said sadly.

Harry nodded. "Okay."

"Let's instead talk about how fucking rich and famous I'm going to become for this Potion." Snape said, and although his tone was light, Harry could hear the underlying pride in his voice.

"Yes. You can buy a house and keep it for me until we can be together in my time." Harry said, grinning.

Snape smirked and nodded.

**Letter found on the bedside table of Severus Snape on the 23rd of April 1978**

_Severus Snape_

_Slytherin Dormitories_

_Hogwarts Castle_

_Scotland_

_Dear Mr. Snape;_

_Following our previous meeting, I have taken the initiative to being work on the testing of your _Wolfsbane Potion _which will be completed as of 29th May 1978. _

_Our current results indicate the success of the modified potion and should further results mirror this result, we will owl you to write an article on your creation for _Potions Quarterly _, one of the most respected Potions journals in Great Britain today. You will be notified of any further marketing strategies our company executives wish to put in place._

_On a more personal note, Mr. Snape, I was pleased to hear that you were found safely. Imagine! Disappearing from our Floo Network Connection! Do pass on my regards to Albus, and your Mr. Redfern we spoke about._

_Yours Sincerely,_

_Adam Waterford_

_Chief Wizard in Charge of Potions Testing and Development_

_Waterford's Potions & Cures_

End Chapter 7


	8. Counting Down the Days

**Title:** A Long Awaited Sentiment

**Author:** nahimana

**Disclaimer/Warnings/Rating: **See chapter 1.

**This Chapter: **Snape's got issues, Harry's confused and Lucius is a bad, bad boy.

_You were right _

_And I don't want to be here_

_If you're going to be there_

_Was that supposed to happen?_

_I'll hold tight_

_I'll remember to smile_

_Though it has been a while_

_And without you does it matter?_

_There's no room _

_No place to start_

_When our souls are apart_

_I wanna travel through time_

_See your surprise_

_Hold you so tight_

_I'm counting down the days tonight_

_I just wanna be a million miles away from here_

_I'm counting down the days_

_-Counting Down the Days, Natalie Imbruglia_

Chapter 8**-** _Counting Down the Days_

Those who have the dubious honour of training with Alastor Moody fit into two categories. Some (or, rather, most), fit into the first category, have difficulty retaining complete sanity, and more Moody's are unleashed upon the world, yelling "Constant Vigilance" until they are hoarse in the throat. These people usually end up in St. Mungo's, or working for one of the Ministry Departments no one else will apply for, such as the Department of Book Binding. It is, perhaps, a blessing that Moody didn't have a prosperous teaching career before retiring. A fortunate few retain their sanity, and these fit into the second category. They go on to have prosperous careers as Aurors or Unspeakables.

One lone student, perhaps the most powerful and talented of them all, after training under not only Moody but Severus Snape and Albus Dumbledore as well, went on to defeat Voldemort, go back in time, and fall for a teacher.

It is unsure whether he fits into the first category or the second.

OoOoO

_28th April 1978, 11:36am_

"So how long has it got now?"

"I told you five minutes ago that it had a full ten minutes before completion. Can you figure it out on your own, or should I retrieve a piece of parchment and a quill for your calculations?"

Harry Potter scowled at an eighteen year old Severus Snape who was smirking at him from behind a cauldron.

"You really are horrible, you know?" he said in what he knew to be a petulant manner, but didn't really care.

Severus merely continued smirking as he carefully placed the remains of a shrivel fig into a jar and sealed it. There were murmurings of their fellow classmates over the sound of running water and footsteps as everyone else began to pack their things. Harry snatched the jar out of Severus' hand, ignored the warning to be careful, and stalked off to the Potions supply cabinet, where he shoved the jar. On the way back, he bumped into a sneering Lucius Malfoy who elbowed him in a way that was invisible to the teacher and continued on, leaving Harry rubbing his side.

"Oh, what now, Redfern?" Severus asked with a sneer of his own.

"Lucius," he replied shortly, and Severus gave a nod of acknowledgement but said nothing. Perhaps even more frustrated than before, Harry grabbed a piece of parchment out of his bag and began writing furiously. Severus had been like this for a few days now, completely uncaring and even more snarky and horrible than normal. It was no longer occasional barbs and scathing comments, but everything he said now had a hint of malice behind it. Harry was beginning to feel like Snape's student again, and he didn't like it at all.

They didn't speak again until lunch, when Severus struck up a conversation with a boy in his sixth year Harry didn't know by name, but knew Severus had tutored in Potions a few years ago. Harry stabbed moodily at his steak until Severus asked him to pass the salt when he threw the salt at Snape and stormed out. He briefly turned to see Severus looking at him with a bewildered expression on his face before running out the Great Hall.

Twenty minutes later, a still confused looking Severus walked into their shared dorm and sat down silently next to him.

"Want to explain what that was all about?" he asked.

"No. Yes. I don't know." Harry said, refusing to look at his companion and instead focussing on his fingernails.

Severus began to say something, but Harry cut him off. "You've been cold to me for almost a week now! You _barely _speak to me, and when you do it's to criticise me or to ask me to pass you the fucking salt! And I'm leaving soon, so it's hard enough on me as it is, and it doesn't help that everyone here hates me! You're the one person in Slytherin who even _talks _to me and it's driving me _nuts_!" He paused to take a breath, and Severus took the opportunity to speak.

"You're right."

"And then you- wait. What?"

"You're right. I have been treating you sub standardly. I apologise. I have merely had other issues on my mind, and I am having difficulty with the fact that you will be gone in less than a month." Severus said so casually that a passer-by might've thought they were speaking about the weather.

"You... Right. Er. Well, thanks...I guess." Harry said, furrowing his eyebrows and looking up at Snape for the first time. He was sitting with his back straight, a perfectly blank expression on his face.

Severus put his own larger hand over Harry's briefly, before standing up.

"I have an afternoon Runes class. See you tonight?" Snape asked. Harry nodded vacantly, and put his hand where Severus' had been as the teenager left the room, his black cloak billowing behind him.

OoOoO

Another scribbled out sentence, and he would probably rip a hole in the parchment, Harry thought absently. The parchment in front of him, what was supposed to be his good-bye note to Severus, was in near shreds. Only a few legible words remained, and none of them even remotely conveyed his intended message. He balled up the note and threw it in a nearby fireplace where he sat in the Slytherin Common Room. It was near deserted, only a few of the older students not having classes, and the quiet unnerved Harry, having gotten used to the loud Gryffindor Common Room years before. Severus was due back any minute, and then they would go to dinner. After their argument, Harry had sat on his bed for a long time, before finally getting up and moving down to the Common Room, where he had remained, trying to piece together his good-bye note. His approaching return date was sending him into a panic, and though he left Severus with the impression he wasn't anywhere near as effected as him, Harry was, in fact, worse. And then the letter writing had begun. He had known, since their relationship had begun, that leaving was going to be difficult. He just hadn't anticipated how hard. He now had less than a month to spend with the man he had come to care about so much, with the added burden of trying to articulate his feelings, a job he had always been terribly bad at.

At that moment, Severus entered the common room, greasy hair covering his face, robes with splatters of their earlier potion and looking altogether dishevelled. Harry instantly brightened when he saw the other, and waved him over. Severus stalked over, threw his bag onto the table where it narrowly missed Harry's ink bottle and flopped uncharacteristically onto the seat beside Harry.

"Bad class, then?"

"Oh, no. Not at all. I got an 'O' for my last translation sheet, and as a reward for being the only one, didn't get any homework." Severus said, but from his tone of voice something was obviously wrong.

"Right. So then what happened _after_ class?"

Snape paused for a while, and seemed to be debating whether to tell Harry about whatever had occurred.

Finally, when Harry was about to change the subject, Snape spoke.

"I...spoke to Lucius. Before class. He cornered me. Again."

Harry saw red.  
"You'd think he'd learn when to give up, wouldn't you?" He said with a forced calm, trying to ignore Severus glancing towards the door, as if looking for the blonde.

Severus shrugged noncommittally.

"I think it's high time I have a bit of a word with the old Lucius..." Harry said furiously, getting up, but he was immediately pushed back down by Severus' long arm.

"Don't be idiotic," he said, "Lucius is a Death Eater, Redfern. He's dangerous."

Harry scoffed but stayed put nonetheless.

OoOoO

_28th April 1998, 4:55pm_

"Load of rubbish. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Abysmal. 'Potion' spelt incorrectly." Snape mumbled to himself as he scanned the fifth consecutive substandard test he had graded in the last hour. The first years were truly getting worse every year, and it seemed that every class had not _one_ Neville Longbottom, but 28 in a class of 29. Scratching a large red 'x' next to a rather pathetic one line answer to a question that required at least a paragraph, Snape wondered if the constant stupidity displayed by his pathetic little students was indeed pay back for his years as a Death Eater, or some other deed he had committed in a previous life.

At that moment, an owl swooped in with a purple envelope clutched in its grip. Snape eyed the garish colour warily before reluctantly untying the letter from the tawny, which immediately flew away.

Severus instantly recognised the seal on the back- a hideous gold thing which consisted of a house wearing a wizard's hat and the words "Robinson's Realty". Below it was the phrase, "If You're Not Completely Satisfied, We'll Eat Our Hats!". Rolling his eyes as he always did on viewing the garish seal, Snape deftly opened the envelope and unfolded the parchment within. A wizarding picture fell onto his lap, but he ignored it.

_Dear Mr. Snape, _it read,

_The residents of your property _ Greystone Manor _in _Stirling, Scotland,_ wish to inform you they will not be renewing their lease, ceasing on _20th August, 1998. _Please reply owl your decision regarding the future of your property._

_Sincerely,_

_James Walters_

_Realtor_

_Robinson's Realty_

_25 Diagon Alley_

_London_

_Great Britain_

So the bloody family was moving out. Good riddance. Five years of nothing but complaints and requests to get rid of the rose garden, _his_ rose garden. Bloody nuisance people. Snape looked down at the picture on his lap. It was the realtor's customary photograph of the Manor which he sent to reassure Snape that the tenants had not yet managed to burn it down, or pull down the rose garden. After eighteen years of owning it, Snape had still yet to live in the beautiful Scottish house, the memories of why he had bought it still too painful.

To distract himself, Severus pulled open the drawer of his desk where the picture of Harry and himself that Lupin had presented him was sitting below several quills and a Filibuster Firework Snape had confiscated from a third year.

At that moment, the photo Harry looked up at him through snow-covered eyelashes and smiled. Snape gulped, hurriedly grabbed a quill, and slammed the drawer closed. It did not do to dwell on memories, he told himself sternly. He scratched out a reply to the realtor, whom he informed would no longer be needed, as Snape planned to occupy the house himself. He told himself sternly he wasn't doing it for Harry, and for once, welcomed the distraction dinner in the Great Hall presented.

OoOoO

_29th April 1978, 5:43am_

Some horrible person had set off a sneakoscope and then shoved it in Harry's ear, if the loud incessant noise was anything to go by. He blearily opened one eye and looked over at Severus, who had both eyes open and a sour expression on his face.

"What the fuck _is_ that?" He said groggily, then narrowed his eyes accusingly at Harry, "is that _you?" _

Harry scowled at him. "Of course not." he said irritably, and reluctantly opened his other eye, and as the closest to the edge of the bed, peered through the curtains. The eyes of their fellow dorm mates greeted him, but they were looking so tired that Harry doubted that any of them noticed Harry was in the wrong bed. The noise showed no sign of stopping, and yelling from other dormitories was getting louder by the second.

"What is that?" One of the other boys mumbled, the only one of them to have opened his curtains fully and sat up.

"Sounds like an alarm, if you ask me." Another said.

And Harry was wide awake.

Dumbledore's speaker phone device. Could it transmit an alarm?

"Severus." Harry whispered, nudging the boy who now had a green pillow over his head. "_Severus._ I think Hogwarts is in trouble."

Snape sat up.

"We should go to the common room." Harry said to the others, who grumbled at him and made vague sounds of protest. "It might be a danger alarm." Harry insisted and the others grumbled again but got up, shrugging on dressing gowns and stumbling out the door. Once everyone was gone, Harry shoved Severus and they joined their house mates where they were gathered around their Head-of-House, a grumpy and sour man named George Mathews.

"I do not know the answers to your questions," he was saying irritably, "I only know that the Hogwarts alarms have been set off, and as such we need to move into the Great Hall and await instructions from the Headmaster, you stupid children." A crowd of first years quietened immediately and Mathews set off to check no one was left behind before they left.

The Slytherins were whispering to each other excitedly and Harry turned to Severus.

'What do you reckon, then?" Harry asked him.

"No idea. Probably some idiot sneaking around before everyone wakes up, but I don't think Death Eater activity, either."

Harry nodded, and resisted the urge to lean against his lover.

Mathews returned several minutes later with two guiltylooking sixth years and a blushing second year. He grunted out "let's go" and the Slytherins followed him, still whispering.

By the time they reached the Great Hall, the other houses were already gathered there, swarming around their heads of Houses, all of whom were in their bedclothes and looked very flustered. Dumbledore was yet to be spotted. Harry kept Severus as close to him as possible, gripping his wrist forcefully to prevent him escaping. Snape sent a questioning look at him, but said nothing and didn't try to pull his arm away. Harry tried to smile reassuringly at him, but couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

At that moment, Dumbledore entered in a long dressing gown in a garish pink and yellow tartan, and Harry was relieved to see that he was smiling.

"Students and teachers. No doubt you are all concerned as to why our alarm has been set off. I am pleased to inform you it was merely an accident. You may all return to your dormitories and get some rest." He announced, and ended the "sonorous" charm he had placed on his voice.

Babble broke out again, this time far cheerier than before. Harry relaxed his grip on Severus, and they made to follow Mathews back to the Slytherin Common Room, where Harry had little doubt that students would remain awake discussing possible reasoning behind the alarm being set off.

They passed through the doors, the last to leave the Great Hall, when Harry suddenly noticed someone was missing- there was no bright blonde hair of Lucius Malfoy, either in front or behind he and Severus. He made to point this out to Snape, but he heard a whispered curse and the world went black.

OoOoO

Pain. In his arm, and his head. It felt like he'd been hit by a bad stunning curse and a drugging charm. He couldn't think. Someone was talking, but he couldn't decipher what they were saying. They were angry, that was for sure, and one was higher than the other, more like a woman's voice.

He tried to groan, but found he'd lost his voice. But apparently he managed to gain the attention of the other two in the room, because the talking stopped immediately. The woman mumbled something and the man shushed her.

He couldn't see well without his glasses, but he managed to make out a blurry shape move to stand over him. The sound of a door slamming, and after a few seconds a glass was pushed roughly to his lips. It felt better, but he still couldn't see or hear anything clearly, and he was still in pain.

The woman, apparently the only one left in the room, whispered something and immediately he didn't feel as groggy. And he could hear again.

"Don't think I'm doing this for you, Redfern. I'm not." Came the unmistakable voice of Narcissa Black, soon to be Narcissa Malfoy.

He couldn't muster the energy to do anything. So Lucius had kidnapped him. Not surprising, really. And it had probably been him to set off the alarm in the school. It would serve as a good distraction.

The door slammed again and Harry drifted back into sleep.

OoOoO

The next thing he heard was Lucius Malfoy muttering to himself about "promises" and "obligations". He blinked, and found even that was painful. What the fuck had Lucius done to him while he was asleep?

He made a pitiful groan in his throat and instantly berated himself. This was ridiculous. He'd done worse than this before. He'd faced Voldemort for Christ's sake, he shouldn't be this pathetic when kidnapped. He shouldn't have allowed himself to be kidnapped, full stop. He thought Moody had taught him better than that. He heard shuffling, and Lucius moved to stand over him. With hair as bright as Narcissa's, it was difficult to tell them apart through his blurry vision.

"So. _Alex Redfern._ Not so invincible now, are we."

"Never said I was-" Harry cleared his throat, finding it very difficult to speak, "invincible." he finished, coughing.

"Oh but everyone thinks you are. Why do you think no one's attacked you? They saw how you duelled Frink, they've seen you in action in other classes. Everyone hates you for befriending those _Gryffindors_, but no one says anything because they're too scared of you. But I'm not, am I?" Lucius said scathingly, and Harry would have bet anything he had the same ugly sneer he had worn when Harry had saved Ginny from the Chamber of Secrets.

"Not...not everyone hates me." Harry ground out, thinking of Severus. Would Severus be worried? How long had it been? How did Lucius manage to take Harry, when Severus had been right next to him?

"Oh yes, let's not forget dear Severus. Oh, Redfern, it's only a matter of time before Severus realises what a useless excuse for a human being you are and comes running to me." Harry inwardly winced as he remembered all the times older Severus had spent yelling at him- calling him a waste of wizarding powers. But he couldn't let Lucius know he'd gotten to Harry.

"Not come to his "senses" so far, has he?" He really wished his throat would stop being so croaky. Lucius laughed.

"As I said, Redfern, only a matter of _time._" Harry didn't like that emphasis on the word "time". It sounded very ominous.

"But for now, I suppose I will have to be content with torture." Lucius said as if this was an annoying task he had to perform to get a reward. Harry's breath hitched as he realised what we coming.

"Crucio!"

OoOoO

The Confounding Charm had worn off, finally, Severus noted irritably as he flipped through the pages of a book entitled "Summoning Charms: Limitations and Expansions". Surely there was _some_ way to bring Harry back. He couldn't be out of the castle, Dumbledore would've been alerted, surely? Besides, Lucius had been at their class that afternoon, and Severus was sure that he was the one responsible for confounding Severus and taking Harry. Dumbledore, of course, was assuring Severus that there was no need to panic, which Severus automatically took to mean that it was indeed time to panic. Dumbledore was known for vast understatement, after all. And that's when the idea of summoning Harry had come to mind. While the Headmaster assured him that every available teacher was searching the castle for Harry, Hogwarts had numerous doors that weren't really doors at all, and doors pretending to be walls, windows, or suits of armour. Who knew how long it would take to find Harry, or even if he would still be alive when they did. Snape agitatedly flipped through the book, finding no reference to summoning a person. He sighed, and looked at the clock. Only half an hour until the library closed and Madame Pince would be on his arse in another twenty. He slammed the book shut, and turned to the next one in his monstrously large pile. Nothing.

He gathered the remaining books into his arms and moved to the loans desk. Pince eyed his large pile with a sceptic look. Severus shrugged.

"Big charms assignment." he offered as explanation. She didn't appear convinced. He walked out of the library with her warnings of "if one book has so much as an ink stain marring it on return, it would be his hide" trailing after him.

OoOoO

_30th April 1998, 5 am_

Severus Snape couldn't sleep. The date had been looming for weeks, his calendar a constant reminder of the fact that Harry would be back in less than a month. But today was different. Today marked the day after Harry had been kidnapped. Despite it having happened twenty years in the past, the thought of Lucius, and what he had done to Harry, weighed heavily on Snape's mind.

Giving up on ever getting back to sleep, Severus slid his feet out and began his daily routine, telling himself he was not counting down the days until Harry returned, but all the same thinking, 12 days to go.

OoOoO

_30th April 1978, 5 am_

Three times Harry had been hit with the cruciatus curse, conscious, since Lucius had kidnapped him. He had no idea what time had passed, but three times was more than enough in such a short space of time. In any space of time, really.

Of course, he had been subjected to worse, but not for about a year, and his muscles were not enjoying a repeat performance. Lucius had gone, for the meantime, which gave Harry time to plan his escape. Surely someone had noticed, by now, that he was gone. Surely they would be getting forces together to find and rescue him. And expel Lucius.

Lucius. Something had been nagging on Harry's brain in the time he had been conscious- if Lucius had been expelled following what he had done to Harry, then how had he been able to get a job in the Ministry in Harry's time? Or had he managed to escape punishment? Thinking about the time travel made Harry's brain hurt in his current condition, so he stopped.

Instead, he thought about Severus. What was he doing? Was he missing Harry? Or had Lucius gotten to him too? The thought made Harry's blood cold. If Lucius had hurt Severus, his Severus, again, he would pay.

God, he hurt. All over.

The door creaked open. Harry cringed.

End Chapter 8


	9. Lifeline

**Title:** A Long Awaited Sentiment

**Author:** nahimana

**Disclaimer/Warnings/Rating: **See chapter 1.

**This Chapter- **Severus plays hero, Lucius plays dumb and Harry's visit comes to a surprising end.

**Author's Note: **Rose symbolism text from www . roseflowergarden . com

_Wake up feeling convicted_

_I know something's not right_

_Re-acquaint my knees with the carpet_

_I have to get this out_

_'Cos it's obstructing you and I_

_Dry up the seas that keep us parted_

_'Cos they've been swimming in the wrong waters_

_And now they're pulling me down_

_But I am clinging to you, never letting go_

_'Cos I know that you are gonna pull me out_

_- Lifeline, Brooke Fraser_

_Previously-_

"_One, two, three. Kcab emoc Harry Potter!" They said together._

_There was a large "bang" and then suddenly all the furniture in the room, along with both Gryffindors, began floating, before coming back to the ground with a large thud. Ron and Hermione were knocked unconscious._

_Harry jerked awake as he heard a large bang. Next to him, Severus stirred but did not wake. He had just had the strangest dream. He was trying to get…something back, but the spell he had used hadn't worked. Harry shrugged in the darkness. He could have sworn he had just been floating around a room. _

Chapter 9- _Lifeline_

1st May, 1978, 6am

Severus Snape was snoring. One side of his face was pressed against a large book with the words "Finding the Unfindable: Charms and Hexes for the Lost" across it in bright green lettering. Surrounding him was a littering of paper, quills and other assorted books. Various Slytherin students moved about around him, going about their morning routines, the elder students complaining bitterly at the lack of coffee in the dungeons. No one bothered to wake the snoring boy, but one student watched him from the corner of the room, unseen. After half an hour, Lucius Malfoy stood up and walked out the room, kicking Severus awake on his way out.

1st May 1978, 9am

"I'm sorry, Severus. There is nothing else the staff of Hogwarts or the Ministry of Magic can do to find Mr. Redfern." Severus glowered at the headmaster.

"You're the Headmaster, Professor. Isn't there some way of tracking him? There _has _ to be." Severus asked desperately, turning to glower at the sun seeping through the window which dared to be so bright and cheery when Harry was god-knows-where being subjected to god-knows-what.

"No, Severus. As I have told you, there is nothing I can personally do, except what I am already doing. I am confident Mr. Redfern has not left the school. It is a rare occasion that a student can leave or enter Hogwarts grounds without my knowing about it. However, I have no control of where they go or what they do when they are already in the school. I am afraid you will need to continue to be patient, and trust we are using all methods at our disposal to find your friend. Students are being questioned, rooms are being searched. As you know, it is a very large school."

"But what about concealing charms? Advanced ones? What if you've already found Ha...Alex, and you've not realised it?"

Dumbledore had the gall to chuckle.

"Severus, you are not telling us anything we have not yet thought of. Rest assured, Mr. Redfern will be found. Now, I really should begin my shift. I am scheduled to search for Mr. Redfern today. Unless there is anything else-" Severus shook his head, "then I must go."

Dumbledore stood, and Severus did also, trying not to let his disappointment show on his face. Before he left, Dumbledore placed a gentle hand on Severus' shoulder.

"Try to occupy yourself, dear boy. It cannot do you good to worry this much."

Severus nodded and watched the Headmaster walk away.

1st May, 1978, 11:34 am

Harry blearily opened his eyes again. God, how long had he been here? Every bone in his body felt like it weighed a ton. His bruises had bruises. And it showed no sign of ending. He couldn't understand how no one had managed to find him yet. Every day, he heard the noises of students passing by on their way to classes. No matter how hard he yelled, no one ever heard him. It was frustrating. He supposed Voldemort had taught Lucius some sort of cloaking spell, so no one would be able to find them, or sense the dark magic Lucius was using. And what a lot of Dark Magic.

In the distance, he heard the stampede of footsteps that signalled another change of classes. Were one of those pairs of feet Severus'? Was he okay? Harry coughed, and was thankful to not taste the blood he had become accustomed to in the time he had been under Lucius' "care".

His last thought was of Severus, as he drifted back to a fitful sleep.

1st May 1978, 12pm

"FUCK." Several younger students startled, and Madame Pince sent him a harsh glare, but Severus ignored them all as he slammed the final book in his pile shut. Despite Dumbledore's advice, Severus had returned immediately to the library after their meeting. He didn't see how magic couldn't _fix this_. Magic could do anything, he'd learnt that long ago. So why couldn't it save Harry? The fates _owed_ it to Severus. They had taken away too much. Not Harry as well. Not when he was so close to sending him home safe.

He pushed his chair out wearily and stood up, intending to find another book that would help him. However, the first step he took, he found himself standing on a book. He looked down. The title, "Ancient Curse-Breaking and Seeking Magic" wasn't one Severus had read before. He picked it up, opened

it, and sat down to read.

Just when Severus was about to give up hope again, an hour after finding the book, a small paragraph caught his eye.

_In rare occasions, when a bond between two wizards is strong enough, and other magic is at play, it is possible that a summoning spell, when altered, can be powerful enough to bring one to another. This "other magic" concerns other summoning spells that have been placed upon a wizard. The combined magic is often enough to break through any powerful wards. In fact, the previous spell often reveals itself to the summoner before they are even aware of it. For example, the charm may cause a book to open to a certain place, which will help the summoner to find the information necessary. This often happens when the summoned is in grave danger, and the summoner has already taken steps to find them. To alter the basic summoning charm (accio!), one must take various factors into account. _

_The most important of these factors is the wizard's age and power. Also, the relationship between the summoner and summoned. The magic is often most potent when the wizard is of young age, and of great power. Furthermore, a familial bond or a bond of lovers is often the most effective. The "accio" spell then becomes:_

_Accio (age) (name) (statement of bond- lovers, friends, enemies, brothers etc.)_

The book went on to describe the idea behind the theory, but Severus couldn't bring himself to read it. Could this be what he was looking for? The book! It hadn't been in his pile, he was sure! It made sense that when Harry had gone missing, that his friends (or even Dumbledore) had tried using magic to get him back. That could be the other spell in play! If so, Harry was a perfect candidate for the spell! He was young, powerful and they were lovers! Despite himself, Severus felt himself fill with hope at the thought. He shoved a piece of paper into the book as a bookmark and slammed it shut, running out of the library at full speed and causing Madame Pince to yell angrily after him.

1st May 1978, 5pm

When Harry next awoke, he was not in the same room. He was in the Hospital Wing. What? How had he gotten there? They'd found him?

Then suddenly he could feel the magic of Pomfrey's healing Potions cursing through his veins- the war had meant he'd become far too familiar with them for his liking. He no longer felt hungry. His hands and other various bodyparts were bandaged, and he had a killer headache, but he felt so much better he thought he could cry.

He managed to turn his head to the right, and the sight of Severus, fast asleep in a chair, greeted him. He felt even better. He smiled, and drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

2nd May 1978, 8am

Severus was standing over him, trying very hard to restrain a grin.

Harry smiled back. "Hi." he said, his throat croaky from lack of use.

"Hello yourself. Are you feeling better?" Severus asked him. He sounded tired, but happy.

"Much." Harry told him, pulling himself into a sitting position and feeling thrilled that he could.

"I have to go to class. I've missed the past few days. But I'll come back at lunch." Severus explained, gesturing to his bag. Harry nodded.

Snape turned to go, but Harry had one question.

"Severus...who saved me?" He turned back to face Harry.

"I did."

And with that, he was out the door.

Lunchtime...

True to his word, Severus returned precisely at 12:05pm. Harry frowned slightly, as Severus had obviously not stopped for lunch. He stopped that line of thought when he realised he was starting to sound more like Severus' mother than his boyfriend.

"How are you feeling?" Severus greeted him, taking a seat at the side of Harry's bed and wincing at how uncomfortable it was.

"Good. Thanks to you. How did you save me?" Harry asked croakily, and cleared his throat.

"Er. You don't remember anything?"

Harry thought. "No. One minute I was passing out from the pain, the next I was waking up, here, with you next to me."

Severus looked slightly disappointed at this. "Sorry," Harry added, giving him a lopsided grin.

Severus smirked and shook his head, his greasy hair shaking. He didn't look like he'd washed it in a while.

"Well, I...it was partly thanks to your friends in the future."

Harry's eyes widened considerably at that.

"They had cast a spell, trying to get you back. That magic, working with my magic, helped-"

Severus proceeded to tell Harry the whole story, from when he was kidnapped, to when Severus had gone to Dumbledore and they had worked on the spell together. Harry found it a little difficult to follow, as Severus tended to speak very fast when he was excited about something. The magic involved, particularly, was difficult. Harry still felt a little fuzzy, and Poppy's sleeping potions weren't helping much. At one point, Severus moved to sit on the edge of the bed, and had his hand resting gently against Harry's left foot.

He felt himself drifting off, listening to the soothing tones of Severus' deep voice and feeling the comfortable warmth of Severus next to him.

2nd May 1978, 6pm

When Harry next awoke, Severus was still there. Wide awake, reading a school book which looked utterly dull.

Harry announced his awakening by coughing, and Severus looked up instantly.

"Are you okay?"

Harry nodded. "Um...I forgot to ask before...what happened to Lucius? I mean, you know he's responsible, right?" Harry watched as Severus' face became instantly shuttered off.

"There was no evidence." he said stiffly, and turned back to his book immediately. Harry took this information in calmly, and rationally, before expressing his concern in a patient and understanding manner.

"WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!"

"It means, Harry, that there was no evidence to suggest that Lucius was the one responsible." Severus, again, spoke quietly and without emotion.

"But...I mean, my statement will be enough, right?"

Severus made a pained face. "No, Harry. The Ministry has no record of your existence. They can't charge him. You are under suspicion yourself."

"THEY THINK I KIDNAPPED MYSELF?!"

Severus sighed irritably and slammed his book shut with the air of a man determined not to make a scene but finding it very difficult.

"No, Harry. They can't find any information about you, and therefore you are under suspicion as a possibly threat. They cannot charge someone from as powerful a family as the Malfoys with the statement of a teenager whose identity is in question. That's why I think the sooner you are able to leave, the better." At this final statement, Snape's face shut down completely. Harry stared at him, not saying a word. He couldn't process the information. After a minutes silence, Severus got up and left the room, the curtain around Harry's bed fluttering as he swept past it.

3rd May 1978, 11:36am

"I'm sorry."

Harry looked up from his book to find Severus standing above him, stiff as a board, his book bag slung over his right shoulder. Harry shut the book, and motioned for him to sit down.

"I didn't...I wanted...it upset me as much as it upset you, I'm sure." Harry bit his lip. He hated seeing his Severus like this- fumbling, awkward. Severus was a proud and strong man. Harry hated making him feel like this.

"It's okay. I've...I've thought about it, and it's okay. You're right. It'd be stupid to stay longer than I have to. And Lucius...well, he'll get what's coming to him someday." Harry attempted a smile, but it came out forced so he stopped.

Severus nodded.

"What do we do now?" Severus asked. Harry shrugged. He didn't have any answers. He suspected even Dumbledore wouldn't have had any answers.

"I suppose, well, we keep going. We make the potion, and we spend...well, how much time will it take to finish?"

Severus looked up. "Nine days."

Shit. That wasn't even a fortnight. It was...nine days. Not nearly enough.

"Then we spend those nine days like they're our last."

Neither of them bothered to say that the days could, in fact, be their last together.

3rd May, 1978, 6pm

"Well, I suppose if you're insistent, you may be released." Madame Pomfrey told him grudgingly. "You sustained some very serious injuries, Mr. Redfern, and I would advise-"

"Madame Pomfrey, with all do respect, I've had worse than this. Much worse. I'll be fine. I'll rest, I'll be careful, I won't fly anywhere, and I'll come back to you first sign of pain." Harry told her, reciting her usual instructions off by heart. He just wanted to get back to Severus.

Pomfrey nodded, but pursed her lips.

"Mr. Redfern," she called out to him as he turned to go, "you may want to stay away from Mr. Malfoy. Just in case," she added quietly. Harry nodded and smiled reassuringly at her.

Severus was pacing outside when he left.

"She let you go, then?" he asked.

"Uh huh. I've just had to promise to go back at the first sign of trouble, blah, blah, blah." Harry told him with a smile. Severus nodded and returned his grin with a half smile of his own.

"We should go to look at the potion." Severus suggested, gesturing down the hall in the direction of the unused dungeon they kept the bubbling cauldron in.

"Yeah, I suppose." Harry said, wishing he'd been able to keep the disappointment out of his voice. He'd expected...well, he wasn't quite sure what he'd expected Severus to do on his release, but it certainly hadn't been going down to the dungeons to look at _potions._

Once they had added another ingredient to the potion (which, Severus assured Harry, was _supposed_ to make it turn bright green), they made their way to the Slytherin common room in silence. Harry was silent because he was worried that Severus was silent, and Severus was silent because he couldn't think what to say. What to say to someone who he knew he wouldn't see for another twenty years, someone that had just been _tortured_.

Because of him. Because of Severus, and Severus knew it. Lucius had threatened it, and Severus hadn't taken it seriously and now Harry, by pure dumb luck, was still alive.

Harry cast an awkward look in Severus' direction, fiddling with the silver band that wrapped around his right wrist, the one given to him by Severus, Remus and Lily. All three had been there to visit him in the hospital wing, James, Sirius and a disgruntled-looking Peter Pettigrew accompanying Lily and Remus. Severus, who had already been there, had had to restrain Harry from cursing Pettigrew with a severe look.

"Uh. So. Did I miss much?" Harry attempted a conversation, but only received a mumbled 'no' in response.

Harry frowned, and looked over at Severus again and tried not to sigh out loud when the older boy avoided his gaze.

"Severus...what's up? I thought you said that you weren't going to distance yourself from me and that we were going to try and be normal for my last days." By this point, they had reached the entrance to the common room and Severus looked at him through curtains of greasy black hair.

"I think it would be best if we didn't enter together." Severus told him quietly, and without waiting for a response stalked through the portrait hole, Harry standing, stunned, behind him.

Before Harry had come to his senses, Narcissa Black emerged from within the common room.

"Redfern. What are you doing?" she asked suspiciously.

Harry, still a little dazed from the combination of the remaining effects of the potions Pomfrey had administered and the shock of Severus' coldness, was not prepared for the memories that came flooding back to him at the sound of her voice.

Narcissa had _helped him._ She had gone against her soon-to-be husband and helped him. Was it because of her he had survived Lucius' attacks for so long? He hadn't even begun to think about his survival- he was used to being lucky in those sorts of things and after so many years had gotten into the habit of not questioning anything.

He opened his mouth to speak to her, but apparently his face showed enough for her to know what his question would be. She put a hurried hand firmly over his mouth and pushed him back into a nearby alcove. His eyes widened in panic and he began struggling before she hissed in a annoyance and whispered "shut up, I'm not going to hurt you, you idiot" into his ear. Once they were behind a curtain, she immediately let him go.

"I didn't want to talk in the middle of the corridor, Redfern." she offered as explanation and Harry narrowed his eyes at her.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake...Redfern, I didn't save you because I like you, okay? I didn't save you because I don't support the Dark Lord or because I'm secretly pining for you. So whatever rot you've got in your head about my helping you can just bugger off." she told him with a sneer.

Harry nodded.

"I helped you because...I am, _uncomfortable_, with my intended's fascination with your little Snape. With you dead, I feared Lucius would get his wishes. Like I said, I saved you for my own benefit." No emotion crossed her face during this speech, not that Harry was particularly surprised. He fidgeted, not liking the enclosed space he had been forced into.

"Right."

"You are not to tell anyone, especially your dear headmaster, what I did. I don't wish to make a spectacle." Harry nodded again, not trusting himself to say anything.

"We have an understanding, then. Good day, Redfern."

Harry hadn't said thank you. He didn't think Narcissa would've appreciated his verbal thanks.

The next day, a single pink rose appeared on Narcissa Black's beside table, with a crumpled torn out passage from a text book lying next to it.

_Pink - Pink roses are often a symbol of gratitude, thus many exchange them as a symbol of thanks or appreciation for a kind act._

Meanwhile, Harry still had not spoken to Severus. When he had made his way back to their shared dorm after his encounter with Narcissa, the curtains around Severus' bed had been firmly shut, and Harry felt the pulsing of Severus' powerful locking and silencing wards. He took the hint.

The next day, Severus found it considerably harder to avoid Harry. After all, the majority of their classes were the same, and while Severus always had the opportunity of sitting away from Harry, it was difficult to avoid the looks Harry was shooting him. Looks of anger mixed with longing and confusion. Severus spent the majority of his day looking away and studying his text.

Harry, meanwhile, worked on his letter to Severus.

5th May, 1998 1:30pm

Seven days to go. Dumbledore was aware, by now, that his saviour was due home. He had made plans, even, to greet Harry in his office (where Severus assured him Harry would appear unless their potion was incorrect). Weasley and Granger had yet to be informed. Severus refused point blank to speak to them about anything unnecessary, and Dumbledore had a bloody school to run. Lupin was due back to greet Potter, and as such had been given the job of informing his sidekicks.

Severus looked up and surveyed his class of sixth year Gryffindors and Slytherins. The smallest Weasley was passing a note to her boyfriend of her month (at least that's what Severus assumed he was), and the annoying little blonde (Creevy, his name was) smiled sickeningly. Pah. Severus vaguely wondered if Ginerva had been told of her dear Potter's whereabouts, but she certainly didn't seem all that concerned from his perspective. Then again, Potter had been gone for months.

Severus turned his thoughts away from Harry, but was annoyed to note that he had snapped his quill clean in half. Bugger. A few students were looking up at their teacher curiously, but he ignored the nosy little buggers. A murmured cleaning spell got rid of the ink, and another vanishing spell got rid of the quill. He opened his drawer to select another one, but the sight of the photo of his property greeted him. He slammed the drawer shut immediately, which drew further attention from his students.

"Get back to work!" he snapped, and the heads immediately bent back over their steaming cauldrons.

He opened the next drawer down, where a black quill sat neatly over a stack of papers.

5th May 1978, 9pm

"Right. You realise this is getting a bit repetitive, don't you?"

Severus looked up. Harry was standing in front of him, hands definitely placed on his hips, and a determined expression on his face.

"What-"

"Oh, shut up playing innocent, would you? It'll never suit you. Severus."

"Fine. Can we at least talk about this in a more private area?" Severus hissed, gesturing to the full common room.

Harry shrugged. "I suppose."

Harry stalked off without another word, and Severus followed immediately. Once they had reached the dorm room, Harry walked to the door, shut it firmly, locked it, and turned to face Severus.

Snape looked like he wanted to say _something._ Harry didn't give him a chance. He walked right up to the other teen, grabbed his face in his hands, and kissed him forcefully. It only took a second for Severus to kiss back, his hands going to Harry's lower back and moving him towards the bed. They didn't break apart for air as they did an awkward stumble, Harry attempting to walk backwards while keeping his attention focussed on Severus' tongue sliding against his own, and Severus' lips moving against his.

They broke apart as they reached the bed, Harry falling backwards with Severus on top of him.

"I...what are we doing?" Severus asked quietly.

"Well, I've tried talking to you when you get like this, but I figure there's a much more enjoyable way to get you to come to your senses." Harry told him with a grin, pressing his lips softly against Snape's jaw.

"But...it was my fault you got..." Severus couldn't even say it out loud.

Harry didn't need him to.

"Severus...I get into trouble on my own, okay? Not..." he placed another kiss on Severus' neck, "...your..." another kiss, "...fault..." a final, longer kiss on Severus' lips.

Severus made a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat, but kissed Harry deeply nonetheless.

Harry grinned.

6th May, 1978 8pm

By the next morning, it was like nothing had ever happened between them.

Harry was lying under Severus on his bed, perfectly content with Severus' mouth moving against his own, when a shrill sound came from his bedside table. His alarm was shrieking "time to meet James!". Harry groaned as Severus broke the kiss.

"Do you have to?"

"Yeah. Kinda. I have to tell them I'm leaving." Harry said dejectedly, hoping Severus knew that Harry wanted to stay with him.

Almost disappointed when Severus didn't object further, Harry sighed as Severus rolled off him and shut the squealing alarm off.

"Be back really, really soon, okay?" Harry said earnestly, giving Severus another quick kiss.

"I doubt it, but okay," Severus mumbled, picking up a book and opening it.

Harry made his way from the dormitory.

"Hey." James greeted him.

Harry smiled at him. He hadn't spent nearly enough time with his dad. It would never be enough, not after missing out on being raised by him and Lily. Sirius and Remus smiled at him, and Lily embraced him. Harry clung to her longer than was necessary.

"Guys, I've got to tell you something..."

It went better than he thought. Severus and he had devised the plan to tell the others that Harry had been excepted to an exclusive wizarding university overseas, and he had to leave early. The same line had been fed to Dumbledore, whose office they were planning to use for security reasons. Only, instead of seeing Harry take his potion, Dumbledore would think Harry was flooing away. It seemed believable enough, and though there had been tears (from Lily mainly, but Harry had felt his won eyes well up and could've sworn he saw the same in James and Remus), they had said their tentative good-byes. Harry would see them again, but just in case...

He tried not to think about it.

7th May, 1998 3pm

"Remus! What're you doing here?" Remus was greeted by two very enthusiastic Gryffindors in the shape of Ron and Hermione only half an hour after his arrival at Hogwarts.

"Hello you two. I'm here to greet Harry." He watched as their faces lit up further.

"Harry? He's coming back?" Ron asked excitedly.

"Yes. On the twelfth. I'm here a few days early."

Ron and Hermione immediately bombarded him with questions as to Harry's exact arrival time, how they knew when he would be back, and if they could be there to greet him.

Remus smiled at their enthusiasm and led them into a more comfortable setting.

May 12th, 1978, 6am

A shrill alarm woke Harry from his deep sleep. He turned it off before it woke anyone else, and looked over at Severus, who stirred and opened his eyes blearily.

Then it hit him. It was the day he was going back. He would be leaving Severus. He jumped out of bed, alarming Snape. Grabbing Severus' larger hand, Harry pulled him up and in the direction of the bathroom. If this was Harry's last day, he wasn't going to be spearate from Snape for one second of it.

A longer shower than necessary and a leisurely breakfast followed. Harry then took Severus down to the rose gardens with two books and they sat, together, reading, not draped over each other as was the norm for most couples, but with shoulders touching lightly and the occasional caress. It suited them.

Three hours before Harry was due to leave, the two made their way to their dormitory. No one was left, everyone was in Hogsmeade. Without words, Severus kissed Harry deeply and they made their way to the bed one last time.

5:45pm

When Lily had given him her last hug, and Harry had sobbed on her shoulder, feeling the loss of his mother all over again, they went up to Dumbledore's office, a vile of Potion in Severus' robe pocket.

"Severus...can't I just...take it tomorrow, or something?" Harry asked desperately. Severus shook his head.

"No, Harry." he said quietly. "No going back now. It won't work tomorrow. You need to take it today." Severus kissed him again, and Harry felt shivers up his spine.

"I..." Severus started, but stopped.

"Five minutes, boys." a voice interrupted them. Dumbledore was standing at the door to his office, looking at them from their place in the corridor outside.

"Uh huh." Harry nodded. "Right there, professor."

They kissed again, and Harry wondered if he was ever going to be able to let go.

He had to. They made their way through the door. Severus handed him the vial. He took the potion, and clasped Severus' hand in his.

"Good-bye." he said sadly, trying to ignore Dumbledore's eyes on them.

Harry's hand slid away from Severus' and he made to turn around. Words weren't needed, not anymore. But Severus pulled him back, and whispered close to his ear, "I... love you". Harry blinked, and his mouth dropped open slightly.

But before he could respond, the Potion kicked in and Dumbledore's office went black around him.

End Chapter 9


	10. Somewhere Only We Know

**Title:** A Long Awaited Sentiment

**Author:** nahimana

**Disclaimer/Warnings/Rating: **See chapter 1.

**Author's Note:** Final chapter! Woot! Um, you may notice that a bit of the dialogue in the only part in 1978 is familiar. It is taken from a flashback that occurred in an earlier chapter.

**This Chapter- **The final chapter, in which Harry returns to his time, Snape's up to something, and Ron and Hermione are feeling left out. And the reason for the title becomes apparent.

Just a note: it's good to listen to music in the back round of this chapter. Preferably either of the songs quoted if you have them, so something kinda sad. Not, as I tried in one of my edits, something upbeat. I had "Ooh La La" by Goldfrapp and the chapter seemed terrible.

**Previously:**

_Harry's hand slid away from Severus' and he made to turn around. Words weren't needed, not anymore. But Severus pulled him back, and whispered close to his ear, "I... love you". Harry blinked, and his mouth dropped open slightly._

_But before he could respond, the Potion kicked in and Dumbledore's office went black around him._

_I walked across an empty land_

_I knew the pathway like the back of my hand_

_I felt the earth beneath my feet_

_Sat by the river and it made me complete_

_Oh simple thing where have you gone_

_I'm getting old and I need something to rely on_

_So tell me when you're gonna let me in_

_I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin_

_And if you have a minute why don't we go_

_Talk about it somewhere only we know?_

_This could be the end of everything_

_So why don't we go_

_Somewhere only we know_

_-_

_Somewhere Only We Know- Keane_

Chapter 10- _Somewhere Only We Know_

_19th May, 1998, 4pm_

"Oof." The first word out of Harry Potter's mouth as he landed, arse first, in the headmaster's office was not exactly eloquent, but seemed to sum up his feelings about the whole situation. Truthfully, he was just thankful that_ this_ time travel experience hadn't left him with a concussion. Hermione gasped, Ron's eyes widened to near comic proportions, and Harry sighed in relief that he had managed to land in the right time.

"Hiya." He said, looking around the room which, although having travelled twenty years into the...well, present, didn't look all that different. Snape wasn't there, and Harry felt a pang of disappointment at that. Dumbledore and McGonnagal, however, were accompanying Ron and Hermione.

It seemed Hermione could no longer restrain herself, because the second he had lifted himself off the floor, she had thrown herself on him. Ron, looking a bit more composed, managed to pry her off before she strangled him, and proceeded to hug Harry himself. Harry's eyes widened in surprise. Ron had never hugged him before, not even after the war.

"Oh Harry, we missed you so much!" Hermione cried, wiping away a stray tear from her eye.

"I missed you too. A lot." Harry smiled at them both, while Ron shuffled his feet rather awkwardly.

"Headmaster." Harry said, nodding to the old man. "Professor McGonnagal."

"Mister Potter. A pleasure to have you back. I trust your stay in the past was eventful, at the very least." the Headmaster said pleasantly, his eyes twinkling.

Harry fought off a blush and nodded. "Yeah. Um. Eventful."

"I see not even an occurrence as rare as a trip to the past could improve your atrocious vocabulary." A voice said from the door, and Harry spun around to face Severus Snape, in all his black-robed, thirty eight year old glory. And Harry had absolutely no idea how to act around him. He decided, for the meantime, that detached politeness, while probably his best option, was not going to be easy.

"Well," he said, staring Severus in the eye, "you should know. You comment about it enough." So much for that. Both insolent and familiar. Brilliant, Potter.

Snape sneered. "Indeed." He spun to face the Headmaster. "You wished to see me, Albus? I cannot _begin_ to imagine what it is regarding." he said sarcastically, folding his arms across his chest, and leaning against the door post. Harry rolled his eyes, and ignored the fact that Severus- no, Snape- looked really very sexy like that. Sure, he wasn't attractive in the traditional way, or any way at all, really, but the man had a presence which made Harry feel like melting into a puddle of utterly undignified goo.

"So untrusting, Severus. I shall be finished with Harry in a moment." Snape looked like he was fighting the urge to roll his eyes. Harry repressed the thought that twenty years ago Severus would have just rolled his eyes and been done with it.

"Fine. I shall wait outside." Snape said, and swept out into the hallway, robes billowing behind him. Harry swallowed. Ron and Hermione, meanwhile, were looking back and forth between Harry and the space Snape had vacated. Harry frowned. They couldn't possibly _know_, could they? He was interrupted in his thoughts by Dumbledore.

"Mr. Potter, as glad as I am to have you back in the right time, I am afraid I will have to cut this meeting short. If you would like, you could return to my office later this evening." Harry recognised the request as a disguised order, and nodded. Dumbledore waved his wand and Harry's trunk disappeared, presumably to the Gryffindor common room. "Six o'clock, then. Miss Granger, Mr Weasley, I trust you can inform Mr. Potter of the information he needs to be aware of." Dumbledore nodded to each in turn and they took this as their cue to leave. Dumbledore followed them out to greet Snape, who was pacing in the hallway outside Dumbledore's office. He stopped immediately and looked up as they entered.

"Severus, I'll see you now." Snape nodded, but when he walked past Harry, and they looked each other in the eye, Harry felt a shiver run down his spine. Their shoulders brushed. They both stopped, and Dumbledore, Ron, Hermione and McGonnagal looked at them. And suddenly Snape had Harry's face in his hands and it didn't matter who else was there, and they were kissing. Harry grasped Snape's robes. He smelt the same and tasted the same and Harry clung to the familiarity of it all. He vaguely heard Hermione gasp, but all he cared about was that Snape's tongue kept doing whatever it was that made him shiver in delight, and that the kiss never ended because it was so good. Wow, Harry thought absently, as Snape pressed their bodies closer together. Snape had some new moves. The kiss did end, far too quickly in Harry's opinion, as Snape seemed to gather some of his composure. Harry blinked dazedly. Ron was looking the other way, Hermione was blushing furiously, as was McGonnagal, and Dumbledore was smiling serenely, completely ignoring the fact that he was witnessing one of his teachers snogging a student. Harry blushed and bit his lip. Snape, however, looked furious at himself for losing control.

"I-" Harry began, but Severus cut him off. "We shall talk _later_," he growled, and swept past them all into Dumbledore's office. Harry, Ron, Hermione and McGonnagal walked down the staircase from Dumbledore's office in awkward silence.

"It's good to have you back, Mr. Potter." McGonnagal said kindly. Harry smiled.

"Thanks Professor." She nodded at him and swept off in the direction of her office.

Harry grudgingly turned to look at Ron and Hermione, dreading their reaction, which Harry suspected they had held in for the sake of Dumbledore and McGonnagal.

OoOoO

_19th May 1978, just after Harry's departure_

Severus ignored the look Dumbledore was sending him, and stormed angrily out of the office. Obliviating Dumbledore could wait. He didn't quite know where he was going, he just knew that wherever he needed to be, it wasn't with Dumbledore. His path led him out of the castle, where it was raining heavily. Perfect. He could either go back into the castle, which was probably the smartest choice on offer, or he could make his way to the sheltered area by the lake. The place where Lucius had cornered him, only a few weeks ago. Severus'd stormed up back to Harry and he'd been so protective and gorgeous, and all thoughts of Lucius had just disappeared. Severus stopped himself. It hurt to think about Harry. He didn't know what to do, now. Inside, there was nothing. Outside, there was nothing but a bad cold. There was no Harry to make things..._better._

So he stood in the doorway. He pulled his cloak around him and placed his hands in his pockets, to shield himself from the cold. He swallowed heavily when his hand closed around a piece of paper he was sure he had not placed there. He pulled it out and unfurled it. Harry's untidy scrawl filled the page.

_Severus,_

_There are so many things I want to say to you. I want to tell you of the future, assure you we will be together again, and warn you against...well. Warn you._

_But I can't. And this frustrates you just as much as me, I'm sure. _

_And if I warn you, I'll risk making the future worse for me, and you. Maybe. I don't know. _

_I've enjoyed these months with you more than any other period in my life. I hope you know that. I've told you as much as I can about my past, and hopefully that gives you some idea. I wish I didn't have to leave, I really do, and in twenty years you'll understand that, I hope._

_When you're older, and you begin to understand everything I've been talking about all along, you'll have doubts. And don't deny it, Severus, I know you as well as you know yourself. I've been watching you, consciously and subconsciously, for almost eight years. I've told you things I've never told anyone._

_I don't want you to have doubts, Severus. I know who you are. I know everything you've done, everything you will do. And it doesn't matter. It never will. I know you don't know, now or in the future, the extent of what I know. But...I know. Dumbledore told me everything I needed to know, as did you, in my fifth year (you'll see). I'm sorry about that, by the way. It was a stupid thing to do, and I hope you know I didn't like what I saw._

_Thank you, Severus. You've no idea what you've done for me._

_Always, _

_Harry_

He couldn't take it. He began walking, again not having a clue where he was going. Before he got too far, a voice interrupted his thoughts.

"I saw you saying good-bye to him." Severus whirled around to find Lucius Malfoy coming up behind him.

"What are you talking about?" He asked the blonde haired Slytherin.

"Redfern. I saw you saying good-bye to him. And I heard." Lucius repeated.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" Severus asked roughly.

"Nothing, my dear Severus, nothing at all. Except you, of course."

Severus narrowed his eyes. "Bugger off Malfoy. I thought I made myself clear the day at the lake. Ha...Alex will always be the one for me."

"Ah…but will you always be the one for dear Redfern?" Lucius asked snidely.

"What do you mean?" Severus questioned.

"I mean, what if Redfern doesn't want you in his time? You'll be twenty years older than him. Don't tell me you hadn't thought of that?"

Severus, of course, had thought about that. A great deal.

"That's ridiculous. **Alex **will want me." Severus glared.

"If you say so." Lucius said unbelievingly.

"I do say so, so fuck off Malfoy." Severus replied gruffly.

Lucius turned to go, but then turned back around again. "Just remember, my dear Severus," he whispered into Snape's ear, "that if you stay with me, I can give you more than what Redfern can. Power, passion... And you don't have to wait twenty years." Severus shivered, but showed no other signs of being effected by Lucius' words.

"I said, fuck off Malfoy." He growled, turning away.

Lucius walked away, grinning. Severus looked at the parchment in his hand. Harry's cryptic messages. He touched his ear, where Lucius' lips had brushed. He swallowed, glanced at where Lucius had been, and turned to follow him. When he caught up, they were still outside. The rain was pouring on them, but there was still sun shining through the clouds, bouncing off Lucius' hair.

"How did you hear? We were in Dumbledore's office, he has it protected..."

_Lucius hurt Harry._

"Ah, one of the benefits of being a Death Eater, my friend. And it's not the only benefit."

_Harry's gone._

"You would be so respected." Lucius told him, sliding an arm around his shoulders. Severus didn't shake it off.

Harry's letter fell from his grasp.

OoOoO

_19th May 1998, 4:45pm_

Surprisingly, Harry's first trip to the Gryffindor Common Room in almost a year was a peaceful one. Ron and Hermione seemed to have conveniently lost their short-term memory, and incidentally, his kiss with Snape, and were filling him in about the goings-on at Hogwarts during his trip to the past.

"So then Millicent Bulstrode threw an absolute fit in the Great Hall when she found out, and she hasn't spoken to Pansy since." Hermione was telling him, while Ron fished around in his pockets for the final card in his Chocolate Frogs collection that he had managed to obtain that year.

"And all that over Goyle? Why would Parkinson even want Goyle? I mean, I know he's got the advantage of being one of the only upper-class Slytherin left since the war, but God. He's about as charismatic as a dishtowel and as smart as a shoe. And his father's no better. Frink refused to let him in his class after he turned him into that Frog- Chicken hybrid when we were supposed to be doing non-verbal stinging hexes..." Harry trailed off, realising that Ron and Hermione were staring at him as if he had started speaking Ancient Hebrew. Although, knowing Hermione, she probably knew Ancient Hebrew.

"What?" He asked, glancing at both of them warily.

Ron seemed to contemplate which part of this seemingly bizarre sentence to question, before choosing the simplest. "Who's Frink, Harry?"

"Oh. Right. Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher." Harry told them, grinning. "Forgot. Sorry. He was an all right teacher, although I kicked his arse in duelling."

Hermione smiled kindly. "Of course you would have Harry, you defeated You- Kn--_Voldemort_, after all."

Harry grinned at her. "Thanks, Hermione. So, who's the Defence teacher in this time?" He asked, turning to Ron again and noticing that the red head was back to searching his pockets.

"Bloke named Fred Roberts. Not a bad teacher, if you don't mind the spit, or if you manage to get a back seat. Bloody difficult these days, though."

Harry frowned. "Roberts? You mean tall, with brown hair? Kind of nerdy looking? Big feet?" He asked, turning to Hermione, whom he figured was more likely to notice these things.

"Yes, Harry. How did you know that?"

"He was in my Advanced Charms class. He always forgot the incantation for the Banishing Charm, even though it was a fourth year charm. Severus always used to say-" Harry cut himself as he realised he had just referred to their Potions Master by his first name. Granted, Ron and Hermione had seen them kiss a mere ten minutes ago, but it was slightly different. They couldn't ignore it this time. Ron and Hermione glanced at each other, a knowing look on their faces.

"I-" Harry began, but Hermione held up a hand to stop him.

"It's okay, Harry," she said gently, "we know."

Harry's mouth opened and closed for several seconds. They knew? They knew that Harry had shagged their Potions teacher? The most hated teacher in the school? This was bad.

"Wha-?" He finally managed, staring from one to the other. "Who told you?"

"Professor Snape." Hermione told him, laying a hand on his arm and steering him away from the suit of armour he was about to walk into.

"_Severus _told you?" He asked incredulously.

"Well, I don't think he had much of a choice on the matter. After Professor Snape revealed who you were in that time, both Professor Dumbledore and Professor Lupin kept telling him to tell us. It's a good thing he did, or we might've gotten a bit of a shock today." Hermione told him, giving him a cheeky smile quite unlike her. Harry blushed at the thought of his first kiss with the older Severus- and how Harry had wanted him just as much as, if not more than, his younger self.

"Yes. Well," he said, coughing to cover his embarrassment. "And...what are your thoughts on it? I take it Ron was restrained from ripping his heart out through his throat, considering he seemed in fine snarky form before." Ron grinned sheepishly, and then slapped him on the back.

"It wasn't for lack of trying, mate." He said with a mock disappointment.

"There's just one thing I want to know, Harry, before I give you my opinion." Hermione said, instantly bringing the conversation to a more serious tone. Harry told her to go ahead.

"Do you love him?"

Harry was taken aback. Harry had always _thought _he'd loved Severus, but he'd never actually_ said_ it. Severus had. Did that mean that Harry didn't love Severus, because he hadn't been able to say it? Severus, the typical chilly Englishman to the core, and apparently soon-to-be Death Eater, had managed to admit he loved Harry first. But then Harry thought about all those nights when they would sit together and just _talk_ and how that had made Harry happier than anything in the world. And he thought about Lucius, and how Severus had saved Harry from him. And how much Harry had missed him when Snape'd been missing.

"I do. Despite everything he's done, everything he's said, everything I thought I hated about him, I do. I love him." he said, And it felt good to admit it, too. "And I know, Ron, " he continued before the red head could cut in, "that that probably sounds insane to you. But think about how you felt about Hermione when you first met her. You thought she was just a bloody know-it-all. And it took something special to get you to realise how kind, and sweet, and brilliant she really was. That's what it was for me and Severus. We needed something like me travelling back in time for us to realise how similar we are, and how much we loved each other." And there it was.

Harry felt a grin on his face before he could even think about restraining it. Hermione seemed to be restraining one herself, and Harry could've sworn he saw her eyes well up. Ron too, it seemed, had finally understood.

Hermione nodded, and sniffed. "Then we approve."

OoOoO

_19th May, 1978, 11pm_

It was hours before Severus returned to his dormitory. His mind was going a mile a minute, but he didn't like any of the thoughts it was producing. A dull throb was beginning to make itself known over his right eye, and he pointedly ignored the twinge he felt on his left arm.

He collapsed onto his bed, grateful that his other dorm mates had already retired and were snoring loudly. Across from him lay Harry's bed, and Snape stared at the wall away from it. He couldn't bare to look at it.

Just then, he heard a small squeak coming from the (supposedly) empty bed. He sat up immediately, but regretted it as the pounding in his head worsened. On the bed lay Harry's strange little black fluffy creature, wobbling about and making little squeaky noises. Harry had never told him what the blasted thing was- or even how he had got it. Severus had been inclined to think it was at least a little illegal.

He looked from the little ball of fluff to his left arm and threw up violently.

OoOoO

Harry spent the rest of the day catching up with classmates he had missed in his trip to the past. Many of them had questions, only a few of which Harry felt comfortable answering. He also met up with Remus, which was a very pleasant surprise. He'd not been to greet Harry in Dumbledore's office, he said, because he didn't want to overwhelm him. Harry was pleased to hear that Remus had no problems with his relationship with Severus. It made things easier, knowing that his last link to his father was supportive of his maybe-relationship. Soon enough, though, six o'clock came and Harry walked the familiar path to Dumbledore's office. On his way, he came across a face so familiar he nearly jumped out of his skin. A boy who, on first inspection, Harry had believed to be a younger Lucius Malfoy was, in fact, Draco Malfoy. He couldn't believe it, but in the months he had spent in the past it had been easy- natural, even- to forget about the boy who had made five and a half of his seven years at Hogwarts a living hell. He swallowed.

"Potter. You're back, then."

"Er." Harry answered. He wasn't sure what people knew about his disappearance, especially not Draco Malfoy who (despite having been on the light side during the war) had never publicly denounced his father. For all they knew, Draco could still be in contact with the escaped death eater.

"Right." Malfoy said. "Look, Potter, there's something I've been meaning to tell you since the war. I know you and I never got along, and I don't want you to think that's going to change, now that I'm not a minion of your nemesis. I may be good, but I'm not a Gryffindork." Malfoy told him childishly.

Harry then alarmed him by doing something he would never have done before- he smiled at Malfoy, wished him a nice life, and continued towards Dumbledore's office.

Once there, he realised he hadn't the faintest clue what the password was. He needn't have worried, though, because no sooner had he begun guessing sweets, the gargoyle had moved to reveal Severus. Harry bit his lip. All his confidence after dealing with Malfoy washed away at the sight of his tall, black-robed (maybe) lover.

"Uh. Hi." He greeted, and then immediately wished he hadn't. Damn his awkwardness and damn Severus for growing two inches taller than when he was eighteen and making himself that much more intimidating.

"Mr. Potter." Snape said carefully, stepping out of the alcove and nodding slightly.

"Listen, I-" Harry began, but Snape cut him off.

"I believe the Headmaster is expecting you." Severus said, and Harry had the sudden urge to reach out to him, and touch his face, and kiss him.

"Right. I'll just...go, then." Harry couldn't help how dejected he sounded. Perhaps their kiss earlier had just been passion. They'd always had plenty of that. It had been twenty years, after all. Perhaps Severus didn't love him anymore.

Severus turned and left without another word, and Harry climbed the staircase to Dumbledore's office.

OoOoO

_19th May 1998, 6:05pm_

"Mr. Potter. No doubt Ms. Granger and Mr. Weasley have informed you that they, as with myself and Remus Lupin, are aware of your relationship in the past with our Severus." Dumbledore began, once Harry was settled in the chair opposite him with a cup of milky tea and a sample of Honeyduke's latest creation- Around the World in 80 Sweets (a new journey with every mouthful). He nodded, still a little dazed from the affects of the sweet and wondering whether Dumbledore had heard the didgeridoos as well.

"I feel it is my duty, Harry, to inform you that just now Severus offered his resignation." Dumbledore said sombrely, and Harry protested immediately.

"Sir, no! You can't let him do that! It was my fault, I was the only one who knew, I-" However, Dumbledore held up a hand and Harry stopped babbling.

"I am aware of that, Harry, which is why I told Severus I would not accept his resignation. He has grudgingly accepted to continue in his post, but I feel that I have done nothing to allay his feelings of...well, he certainly feels strange seeing you, as his student again." Dumbledore said kindly, peering at Harry with that usual twinkle. Harry nodded uncomfortably.

"Now, I realise, Mr. Potter, that you are an adult. And as such, I have no control over your relationships. I must admit, I believe you to be a very good influence on Severus-" he was interrupted by Harry, however, before he could finish this train of thought.

"Sir, you really needn't worry. If Se- if Professor Snape's reaction to my being here is any indication, then I'm sure it won't be an issue."

Dumbledore smiled warmly, and continued. "On the contrary, Harry, I believe _Severus' _"- the way he said "Severus" seemed to indicate to Harry that he wouldn't think it inappropriate should Harry refer to him as such "-reaction is very encouraging. I do not believe he would have responded as he did if his feelings towards you had dissipated. However, back to the matter at hand. If you and Severus do come to an arrangement, I would appreciate if you would both try and be discreet. It would arouse a great deal more trouble than it is worth, and I would hope to spare you and Severus from that, at least while you remain at Hogwarts."

Harry nodded, not at all sure what he should say.

"Furthermore, Harry, I would like to speak to you about a matter a good deal more serious than the gossip pages of the Daily Prophet. I am sure you have been curious, at the very least, about Severus' turn to the Dark Arts following your departure from 1978." Harry hesitantly nodded again, absently wondering if so much head movement was going to cause neck pain.

"And, as I am sure Severus is immersed in his own denial and self pity at the moment, that he will not find it necessary to inform you. However, I feel that you deserve to know, just as I felt your friends deserved to know of your relationship before your return. I will allow Severus the duty of informing you of the details, as there are many I am unaware of myself." Dumbledore paused, whether for dramatic effect or because he really _did _need to straighten his glasses, Harry didn't know. "Severus joined the Death Eaters under the influence of Lucius Malfoy. Your departure shook him, and I am afraid I underestimated the effect Lucius' constant attacks had on him. I do not believe Severus joined Voldemort because he believed Muggle-borns deserved to die, nor do I believe he is blameless. We are, after all, responsible for our own choices. However, I do regret not spending more time with Severus following your departure. Before you arrived in our time, Harry, Severus was a very unhappy teenager. He had always desired to be respected and admired, which he no doubt deserved, but for some reason his peers felt it necessary to pick on the boy. When you were with him, I believe those issues left him, for however short amount of time. When you left, it only served to reinforce his feelings of being alone. I am, of course, not blaming you, Mr. Potter, but merely trying to show you how Severus was...vulnerable, to Voldemort's persuasion." Harry made a noncommittal sound in his throat, and blinked. _Severus._

"Voldemort made Severus feel valuable, at the very least. Severus was coveted by the Death Eaters for his skill in Potions. At eighteen, Severus invented the Wolfsbane Potion. After he joined Voldemort, he had to publish it under another name, of course, because Voldemort would not have appreciated the _value _of his potion, but it shows the extent of his skill. After Voldemort found out about the prophecy, and shared his information with his followers, I believe Severus realised the extent of what he had gotten himself into. He came to me, and I allowed him to become a spy for the order. I felt it was the least I could do." Dumbledore said with regret evident in his voice. Harry tried to give him a comforting smile.

"Unfortunately, while I hoped it would end with the defeat of Voldemort, I fear otherwise." Harry's eyes widened immediately.

"What?...sir?" he added as an afterthought.

"Severus will be making contact with the remaining Death Eaters." Dumbledore said gravely.

"WHAT?!"

"During your time away, Harry, the Order uncovered a group of Death Eaters who have evaded capture, led by Lucius Malfoy. They are attempting to pick up where Voldemort left off. Severus is planning to tell them he merely objected to Voldemort's hypocrisy, being a half-blood himself, and that he wishes to join them in their fight. Lucius has always had a..._weak spot_, when it comes to Severus. I believe he will allow Severus into their little "group" and we will be able to eliminate the last Death Eater threat." Harry stared at Dumbledore in shock.

"But Severus' life will be in danger...again." Harry finished for him Dumbledore nodded.

"I...I'm sorry, Professor. I have to go." Harry said quietly. Dumbledore smiled at him.

"Of course Harry. I apologise for having kept you from your friends. I expect you have much to catch up on."

Harry stood, and walked from the office in a daze. Severus was going to be risking his life again. Harry couldn't let him go through with it! It was suicide...

He walked aimlessly until he ended up at the Gryffindor Common Room.

With a fake smile on his face, he pushed open the portrait hole and was greeted by his friends, happy and carefree.

He'd been like that for a few months.

OoOoO

_22nd May 1998, 8:55am_

Within three days, Harry felt almost back to normal, but with Dumbledore's information weighing heavily on his mind. It was certainly strange, to see the sons and daughters of people he'd known in the past, but Hogwarts still felt like home. Ron and Hermione had pestered him for days about meeting his parents, just why the _hell_ he'd felt it necessary to shag Severus and why it took him so bloody long to get back. He'd answered the questions as best he could, but took particular pleasure in talking about his mother and father. He was filling them in about his first real conversation with his father as they walked down to Harry's first potions class. He'd decided on this particular memory as a method of distracting himself but unfortunately, it was not working as well as he would have liked.

"So he explained to me why he and Se-Snape didn't get along, and I think I understand it a bit now." Harry told Hermione and Ron as they passed Nearly Headless Nick in the corridor and nodded to him.

"So did any of their animosity go away, d'you think?" Ron asked through a mouthful of toast he had been able to grab before Hermione had dragged them away from their half-finished breakfasts.

"Maybe. I'm not sure. I think Severus was actually jealous of James, a bit. When it came to me, anyway. I don't think Severus had any real desire to play Quidditch, despite what Remus said."

"What do you mean, he was jealous?" Hermione asked.

"Well, I spent a fair bit of time with Dad, and, well..." Harry trailed off, hoping he didn't look as uncomfortable as he felt.

Hermione, however, didn't push it and just nodded, changing the subject to the neutral topic of homework until they reached the dungeons. As they reached the line outside the classroom, Harry stopped dead, and it took Ron and Hermione a few seconds to realise he wasn't in step with them anymore. They turned to face him, and Hermione's face took on a sympathetic look.

"Harry? You ok?" she asked, and Harry shook his head forcefully.

"No. I'm not feeling very well. I'm just going to go to the infirmary. Might be a side effect of that Potion...y'know..." he trailed off as Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"You're just now feeling sick?" she asked and Harry nodded emphatically. "And this has nothing to do with this being your first class with Snape?"

"I-" Harry hesitated. He had to see Severus sometime. It was just strange, him being Harry's teacher again.

"Fine. You win. I'll go."

He wished Hermione wouldn't look so damned smug.

As potions classes went, it was relatively calm. Snape treated everyone with total indifference, Harry shivered every time the man spoke, but did a good job of hiding it, and Neville managed to blow up only one cauldron ( a personal best, Harry was sure).

In fact, Snape didn't speak to Harry directly until it came to their inspection. The Slytherins all did quite well, as expected. Neville was told that he shouldn't bother turning up to any more lessons, as he had already botched up all potions which counted towards his final marks, and Hermione got away relatively unscathed because her potion was, as usual, perfect. But for the first time, hers wasn't the best. Harry's was. It was the exact right consistency, colour and had the correct amount of steam issuing from it. And when Snape tested it on Ron, the shell on his new tortoise back was large and strong. When Ron became human again, complaining bitterly of a sore back, Harry looked expectantly at Snape.

Surely Severus had remembered that they had completed this Potion together, the day before Harry left, and received top marks? That during that lesson, they'd almost botched it because Harry had decided to play footsie with his partner? That Snape had forced him to stop, and they'd got it right, and then Snape had dragged him back to their dorm and they'd shagged against the wall and been late for Transfigurations?

Snape looked like he was fighting a blush. So he _did_ remember.

"Potter, Weasley, fine." he said dismissively, and hastily moved on to Seamus' cauldron.

Ron rubbed his back and elbowed Harry. "D'you think you could get your boyfriend to stop using me as a bloody test subject?" he whispered grumpily and Harry shushed him hurriedly. It wouldn't do for Snape to hear, or anyone else for that matter, Ron referring to Snape as Harry's "boyfriend".

Snape dismissed the class soon after, and Harry made a split second decision to remain behind. He urged Ron to go on and received a highly inappropriate look in response, to which he responded with a glare Severus would've been proud of.

When everyone had left, Harry approached Snape's desk, where the man was studiously ignoring his presence by scribbling something on a piece of paper.

"You said we'd talk," he said, and wished he'd said something better. Snape looked up.

"Yes, Mr. Potter, I did."

"Can you not...not call me Mr. Potter?" Harry asked quietly.

"And what would you prefer I address you as? Alex? Or have you assumed a new identity already?" Snape asked scathingly and Harry fumed.

"That's not fair!"

"And you now wish to play the one wronged, Potter? Quite inaccurate, don't you think?" Snape appeared cool as a cucumber, but that only served to anger Harry more.

"Oh, and you're the innocent in all of this?! So I'm just supposed to conveniently forget the past seven years?! How you treated me, how you made me think you _hated _me?" How on earth had they ended up fighting? Harry had wanted to tell Severus he loved him, for fuck's sake.

"I'm not the one who kept my identity hidden!" Snape yelled, raising his voice for the first time.

"I _had_ to do that! If you hated me so goddamn much, you could've stopped me going back!"

"So you're trying to blame this all on me?" Snape stood up and Harry no longer had a height advantage.

"No! I'm just- I just didn't realise that I was such a fucking inconvenience to you, that's all..." Harry wasn't shouting anymore, his voice had trailed off into a near whisper.

Snape looked like he was trying to force himself to say something, but couldn't.

"Just- just tell me that it meant _nothing_ to you and I'll- I'll go, okay?" Harry said in a small voice.

Apparently Snape couldn't do that. Before Harry knew it, Snape was sighing irritably and sweeping around to the other side of the desk, pulling Harry into a soft kiss, completely different from the one they had shared three days before. Harry let out a whimper and threw his arms around Snape's neck as a smooth tongue moved against his own, slow and sensual. Snape was gripping his hips tightly, a sharp contrast to the gentleness of his kiss. A small moan escaped the teacher, and Harry pushed himself against Snape more. This, however, turned out to be a mistake, as it appeared to make Snape think about what he was doing, and he pulled away from Harry. Harry whimpered again at the loss of the kiss but let his arms fall away from Snape's neck. A hand ghosted against his side before Snape pulled away entirely and said in a raspy voice, "we shouldn't be doing this."

"Why not?" Harry croaked.

"You're a student." Snape said, although more like he was trying to convince himself of the unsuitability than anyone else. Harry felt the anger that had ebbed away creep back. That's what they had come down to? Age?

"I'm eighteen!" he protested.

"You're a child!"

"Severus, when have I _ever_ been a child? Huh? When I was being locked in a cupboard by my relatives? When I saw my dead parents in the Mirror of Erised? When I faced Voldemort? When teachers tried to kill me, or obliviate me, or have my _soul sucked out_? When was I a child? Because I'd hate to think I missed it!" He could feel himself getting hysterical and hated himself for it.

Severus looked as though, for the first time ever, he didn't know what to say.

"I can't keep going over this Severus! If it's not your jealousy, or a time period, or my age, or the blame game, it'll be something else! You're determined to make it as goddamn difficult as you can!" With that, Harry, tears forming behind his eyes, stormed out of the office, ignoring the shocked faces of several young Slytherins who had been walking past.

OoOoO

_22nd May 1998, 11:37am_

"How'd it go?" Ron asked immediately as Harry slumped down next to him.

"Oh." Ron said as if that explained it all. "Not good, then?"

"Pretty disastrous, actually." Harry told him, rubbing irritably at his mouth with the back of his hand, trying to erase the lingering feeling of Severus' lips over his.

"What happened?" Hermione asked softly, looking at him from her place in an armchair opposite, a book propped up on her lap.

"Basically? He blamed me, I yelled, he yelled, we kissed again, and then he tried to tell me I was too young for him." Ron blanched a bit when Harry mentioned their kiss, but otherwise remained silent. Emotional situations were to be left up to Hermione, for the very obvious reason that Ron was likely to say something incredibly stupid. Hermione placed her book on the table between them, and motioned for her and Ron to switch places. Once next to Harry, she silently placed an arm around him and pulled him towards her, lightly kissing the top of his head.

Harry appreciated the comfort. He sighed, and looked over at Ron, who was looking at him sympathetically.

"I just thought...I mean, I never even got to tell him I loved him, you know." At the mention of "him" and "love" in the same sentence, several first years who were sitting nearby turned to look at them, but Ron glared at them and they turned back.

"I'm sorry, Harry. But...well, he kissed you, didn't he? Doesn't that indicate he still loves you?" Hermione asked. Harry shrugged.

"Maybe. I don't know. And Dumbledore's asked him to go back to the Death Eaters...what if something _happens_?" He asked desperately. Hermione didn't seem to have any answers.

"I think you should try again, Harry." she told him softly.

Harry thought about Severus.

Maybe she was right. But he was going to need to be a bit more...forceful.

OoOoO

_23rd May 1998, 6pm_

A day later, Harry rapped on the door in front of him impatiently, and it opened to give him the view of half of a dishevelled looking Severus, the top buttons of his robe undone and his normally sallow cheeks flushed a dull pink.

"Potter-" Snape began, but Harry corrected him instantly.

"_Harry_. You've had your cock up my arse, you can call me Harry." Snape looked flustered.

"Yes, well, whatever. This is not a good time. I am working on a rather complicated Potion which requires my full attention." He said, gesturing to the bubbling cauldron in the centre of the room.

Harry suddenly realised why Snape looked so flushed. The dungeons were completely closed and the Potion was emitting copious amounts of hot, bright green steam.

"Can I help?" He asked, putting a foot in the doorway to prevent Snape slamming the door in his face.

"You're terrible at Potions. You do not enjoy Potions. Absolutely not." Snape's greasy hair swayed slightly as he shook his head.

"Right. Well. I just came to tell you, what I _tried _ to tell you two days ago, that Dumbledore told me what you're up to." Harry told him, folding his arms across his chest and staring Snape in the eye defiantly.

"I fail to see why. It has absolutely nothing to do with you." Harry sighed.

"Of course it does. You can pretend to have lost your memory, but I know better. I know you still feel something for me. And I'm not going to sit idly by and watch you risk your life again. I thought you were done with that." He said, wanting to either kiss Snape or shake him into seeing sense. "I'm not going to watch you do it," he said again, his voice dropping to a near whisper. "I'll do whatever it takes."

Snape was so silent Harry wondered if he'd lost his voice. When he finally spoke, no feeling entered his voice at all. "I do not expect you to act foolishly because you may have harboured some form of fond feelings for me in the past, Potter."

"That may be part of the reason but mainly I'm doing it because, well, you just _can't _ go back to them. I'm supposed to be the noble, courageous, _Gryffindor _ one. Not you. I'm the Boy Who Lived, the "hero". And now I'm going to _be_ heroic and stop you from making a huge mistake!" Harry said desperately.

"Well," said Snape , moving towards his desk, not inviting him in, but leaving the door open regardless, "as history proves that any attempt of heroism on _your_ part often ends in the untimely death of the recipient I shall ask you not to exhibit such foolishness on my behalf. For my own sake, as well as yours." he sneered, his voice still refusing to give away any form of feeling.

Harry couldn't deny the words stung, but he refused to back down. Snape was not kind. He would never shower Harry with words of love or devotion, give him flowers, or even publicly announce any form of fond feelings he might possibly have for Harry. But as he stood there, at the door to Snape's office, staring him straight in the face, Harry wondered if he even really cared about any of that. He would never be the teenager he had been when Harry had first fallen in love with him. Too much had happened. Too much had changed. But maybe that was okay.

"Fine. We won't talk about it until I graduate." Harry cut off any statement Snape may have been about to make about that not being the point, continuing, "But if you think I'm just going to stand by and watch you go to that git and make contact with the Death Eaters again, you're kidding yourself. As I said, I'll do whatever it takes, including hex you. But don't worry. I'll give you a few days head start." Harry said with a wicked grin. Snape looked somewhere between startled and appalled at Harry openly declaring his intentions, and Harry felt as if he could see the wheels turning in Snape's brain as he thought about ways to avoid Harry's protection. Harry smirked, and turned around to leave, but paused mid-turn.

"Oh, and I love you too, you irascible git." he said, and a satisfied smile formed on his face as he stalked out of Snape's office without another word.

_Brat,_ Snape thought to himself later as he sat down with a large brandy and the old leather potions journal Harry had given him. While the logical part of his brain wished for him to immediately start working on a way to get to the Death Eaters without Harry knowing, the small part of his brain which had made Snape kiss Harry, a student no less, right in front of the headmaster, kept reminding him of Harry's parting words. Fortunately, the snarky and bitter part of his brain won out and Severus had decided to devote his evening to getting drunk and worry about Harry in the morning. Although, he thought, as he took the first sip of expensive brandy, if a long awaited sentiment like Harry's was still worth waiting for after twenty years, then maybe, just maybe, they might have a shot.

End

_We'll do it all _

_Everything _

_On our own _

_We don't need _

_Anything _

_Or anyone _

_If I lay here_

_If I just lay here_

_Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

_Forget what we're told_

_before we get too old_

_Show me a garden that' s bursting into life_

_All that I am_

_All that I ever was_

_Is here in your perfect eyes_

_They're all I can see_

_I don't know where_

_Confused about how as well_

_Just know that these things will never change for us at all_

_If I lay here_

_If I just lay here_

_Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

_-Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol_


	11. Epilogue

**Title:** A Long Awaited Sentiment

**Author:** nahimana

**Disclaimer/Warnings/Rating: **See chapter 1.

**Author's Note:** Well, I was pretty much going to post this once I got the tenth yes, because eh. You guys deserve it. And then I got another 70 or so. Most reviews for a chapter ever! So go you guys! I hope this satisfies some of your curiosity.

_Epilogue- 2 Years Later_

_This is the last time_

_That I will say these words_

_I remember the first time_

_The first of many lies_

_Sweep it into the corner_

_Or hide it under the bed_

_Say these things they go away_

_But they never do _

_Something I wasn't sure of_

_But I was in the middle of_

_Something I forget now_

_But I've seen too little of _

_-This is the Last Time, Keane_

"Severus Snape. Here for Lucius Malfoy."

"Wand."

"One of your front brutes took it."

"How do I know to believe that?"

"Summon it."

"Accio Severus Snape's wand."

A wand came flying down the stairs minutes later, a portly man in bright purple robes chasing after it.

"Artie! What'd you do that for?"

"Sorry, Joe." the guard handed the wand back to the man Severus identified as "Joe" and he walked off irritably.

The guard, "Artie", nodded to Severus. "You're free to enter, then. Cell 12"

Snape nodded courteously and stalked off through the area where the big security door had been moments ago. There was a foul stench in the air of Azkaban prison, Severus noted, and was extremely glad he hadn't found himself there for more than a week at a time. There was the sound of water crashing on the nearby rocks of the island and Severus imagined after a while it would become maddening. He ignored the chill he felt down his spine as a Dementor floated past him and was suddenly thankful Harry, still unable to cope well with dementors, had refused to come with him.

Finally, Severus came to a cell with the number "12" above it. At first, it appeared to be empty, but on closer inspection Severus could see a figure curled in the corner of the room, his filthy robes blending with the dark grey stone walls.

"Lucius." Severus said tersely. The figure lifted his head, which was as dirty as the rest of him.

"Severus." he said coldly. "Why are you here?"

"I am here to make sure that you remain. That you haven't found a way to worm yourself out again."

"No such luck, as of yet. You wouldn't be willing to help out an old friend?" At this, Lucius got up, wincing, and moved to stand opposite Severus, only the bars separating them.

"I would hardly call you a friend." Snape told him, folding his arms across his chest. Lucius' eyes were drawn to his left hand.

"So you married the half-blood boy, did you, Severus?" he asked, nodding to the simple silver band on his left ring finger.  
"No. We're not married. _Potter_ refuses to do it until it's legal in the muggle world."

Lucius laughed a harsh, dry laugh like he hadn't done it in months. He probably hadn't.

"The perils of shagging a half-breed. The perils of shagging a student, I should say. Really Severus, I never pictured you for a pedophile."

"And what did you picture me as, Lucius?" He and Harry had gone over the same issue a hundred times, now. Harry was not a child. "A Death Eater? A fuck toy? Hmm?" Severus asked calmly.

"I mistook you for a Death Eater one too many times, didn't I, Severus? You had so much potential..." Lucius almost seemed wistful. Severus snorted.

"As lovely as this has been, I merely wanted to wish you a nice life with nobody but Dementors to bugger you. Good-bye, Lucius."

Severus turned and walked away, and felt the corners of his lips turn up in a smile.

OoOoO

Severus winced as the door slammed shut. It was impossible to close without a racket, and was next on the list of things to fix with the old house. Bloody tenants had been extremely lazy with the upkeep.

"Severus? Is that you?" A voice yelled.

"Yes. Where are you?" Severus yelled back.

"Dining room!"

Severus made his way through a hundred or so boxes cluttering the entrance to find Harry in the dining room, objects floating out of boxes all around him as he lounged in a chair reading a Quidditch magazine.

"When you said you were going to spend the day unpacking, somehow I imagined a bit more effort would go into the process." Severus said, moving out of the way of a flying plate and sitting on one of the chairs surrounding the large dining table. Harry looked up from his magazine.

"If you've got it, why not use it?" he asked cheerfully, gesturing to his wand, which lay on the arm of the chair next to him.

"Because some wizards enjoy a little hard work every now and then."

"Some wizards didn't grow up in a cupboard doing _all _the hard work, and defeat Voldemort at the age of seventeen. I deserve a break, especially from mundane work like this. I'd prefer to do other kinds of work." he said petulantly, but grinned at Severus anyway.

"Does this mean you will be leaving the ranks of the unemployed and getting a job anytime soon, then? You have the scores. Even in potions."

"I had a good teacher," Harry said, giving Severus a suggestive wink, but continuing normally, "and, yes, I would like to do _something, sometime_, but I just haven't figured out what yet."

Severus "hmm"ed and Harry rolled his eyes.

"I did do _something_ without magic today." He told Severus eagerly. "Want to see?"

"I suppose. Will it require me getting up?"

"Yes." Severus instantly regretted agreeing. Apparition was tiring at the best of times, especially when apparating to and from Azkaban, where the Dementors drained one's magic.

He stood up nonetheless and followed Harry to the mantle of the fireplace, where Harry had arranged photos of Snape's mother, Harry's parents and their various friends and acquaintances, with a few of just them thrown in.

"Well? What do you think?" Harry asked happily.

"It looks ridiculously homey." Harry laughed slightly.

"I thought you might say that. What d'you think of the one in the middle?" Harry asked, pointing to the picture Lupin had given him while Harry was still gone, the one of them in the snow. "I still reckon it's strange that you can't see my glamour anymore; that it just looks like me." Harry said to Severus. The photo Harry and Severus were whispering to each other.

"Mmm." Snape said, feeling the insane urge to wrap his arms around Harry from behind. Harry smiled and rested his hands on top of Severus' as he did just that. It had been a while since he had stopped resisting his urges when it came to Harry.

"How did it go...with Lucius?" Harry asked quietly.

"Fine."

"Did you find out...what you needed to know?"

Severus looked at the top of Harry's messy hair, and turned his eyes to the photo. Photo Harry moved his head and grinned up at him. Photo Severus rolled his eyes. Lucius would never compare to Harry. Never had, really.

"Yes." he said, and kissed up Harry's neck. Harry moaned, and turned to face him. Snape kissed him deeply, passionately, placing his hands on Harry's back. Harry moaned again and kissed back eagerly, and began undoing Severus' top buttons. They started stumbling backwards, knowing they wouldn't make it upstairs to the bedroom, but at least hoping to make it to the lounge, where there was a semi-comfortable couch and they were less likely to be hit in the head with a plate.

On the mantel, the photo Harry turned and kissed photo Snape, who smiled.

_It took half the time_

_I am still afraid_

_So stay by my side_

_And hold on to my hand_

_Try to teach me that_

_I'm alright I guess_

_But there's so much wrong_

_But there's so much right_

_I guess we'll agree_

_To differ on one thing_

_-_

_Make Love to Me Forever, Snow Patrol_

And there you have it. The last words of the story to ever be posted. :D As I've said to many of you, I really appreciate the calls for a sequel. I do. And my opinion may change in the future (never say never, after all) but at the moment I have no plans for a sequel to LAS. None at all. I'm sorry to those I've disappointed. I really am. But I have to think of my own future, and I can't afford to have the stress of another WIP on my mind at the moment.

Anyway, before I go, I would like to reply to a beautiful review that I got for the last chapter, from Bel e Muir. I just want to say thank you so much for the way you described my story. I felt so utterly touched that you wanted to describe it that way and just...thank you. As for my note...well, I suppose you're right! I've attached it at the end for those of you who wish to have a little insight into my mind at the time of writing this story. And, as for other stories, yes, actually. I have two fanfics planned. One, which has already been started, is again a Snape/Harry, set during the war, post HBP. I'm attempting to thoroughly address the issues of the horcruxes and just why Severus isn't evil, as I feel that a lot of authors nowadays are just writing brief explanations. It'll be angsty, long and will probably have a sad ending, but I'm really looking forward to it. A second fanfic is a Harry/Cedric that I was inspired to write not long ago. I posted a short fic on my LJ in December, and was asked to continue it by an author I really admire. So it, too, will be long, but will probably have a happy ending. A couple more little projects are planned, and they are outlined in my profile page.

Again, thank you for the review. It made my week.

Another little note: Ani D, I don't know if you're out there and still reading, but if you are...thanks for your reviews. I loved each and every one of them and I looked forward to them with every chapter. I wish I knew why you never review any more, or if you even realise that the fic is still going, but if you do, send me a line and let me know what you thought, hey?

The planned A/N:

And so concludes a Long Awaited Sentiment. I could say it has been a joy to write, but I'd be lying. The majority of you won't know that this story coincided with the most difficult period of my life to date. But, on a lot of occasions, writing this has helped me escape from that. And reading your reviews has insprired me to write more. Without you guys, I would never have finished it. And for that, I want to say thank you. I know, for those who have been reading since the beginning, that I've been a source of some frustration to you. Months between updates, and the like. Extreme numbers of cliffhangers. But thank you for being patient, and riding it out to the end. I can't say it will be the last you'll hear from me- I'll be posting the edited versions of the chapters pretty soon, but there will be no continuations. One more thing, before I go. To every single person who wrote a review: you made me a better writer. Every word you typed gave me the inspiration to write more. The confidence. I hold a special place in my heart for each and every one of you, and should any of you ever wish to contact me, you can find my details in my profile.

Thank you, and good bye for now.


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